Warning suicidal thoughts read at your own discretion

My thoughts the thoughts in my mind I get lost in them I drowned in them they consume they make my headache they frustrate me they make me cry there so many of them I can't shut them out

 what do I think what are my thoughts well the thing that affects me the most is that I'm the baby of my family I feel as though they think I'm perfect they think that I'll be perfect at everything I do they set their expectations so high that I'm afraid what they will think of me when I can't reach them they think I'm so smart when the truth is I struggle with doing basic math I'm afraid for my brother teach me how to drive because I know once I get behind the wheel I'll suck at it but he thinks I'll be a expert at it but I know I'm going to struggle because I know I'm not as great as they think I'am I think that I'm a failure I think that I'm going to fail  I know she's making me think this way my anxiety but my thoughts are dark I never wanted to put them into words but I have to get the words out of my mind I've thought about killing myself so many times that I think I'm afraid of myself I never thought i was a person who could think that way I know that she made me think this way it's hard to shut these thoughts out it's hard to shut her but I will find a way