School was less than remarkable today. I know most people use school to socialize, network but. Eh. I don’t like talking to people that much. It quickly makes me want to hide in my room and never leave it. Sure, I can keep up appearances and deal with people when necessary but ughhhhh.

When I got home, I tried to bake chocolate cookies like we did once with M. The ones with chocolate pieces inside, and orange zest.

It was a disaster.

It’s not even I burned them. Well I mean. I DID burn them but I think I added the ingredients wrong. Wrong amounts surely? I am positive it was those exact things that made the batter.

Then, at long last he graced me with his presence and showed me the right recipe on the internet. Since I'm 100% sure he did not use that recipe before I had to ask and well. He called me a dumbass. And told me that yeah, he didn't use it because he knew it already, but I need to look at it to learn, since he won’t always be there to save our kitchen from burning down.

Yesterday was still bugging me. Some part of me knows I tried to bake just because that would summon him and give us an excuse to spend time together.

((it’s terrifying that at some point, we started needing an excuse to spend time with each other))

As we were pouring batter into paper muffin molds I decided to bite the bullet and ask how R.U is doing. He just smiled in that weird, humorless way, and told me:

“He’s going through some stuff”

Well, that was vague.

Even tho I have never met R.U I always feel like I know him. It might be because of M’s habit of talking about people like I already do know them. Out of that, I found out many tidbits about his friend, and…. many things about his classmates I wish I could unhear.

I know R.U is older than M. He already finished high school, I think he might be college freshman, or maybe sophomore? He’s studying art now. I’m not sure what his exact major is.

I know that he for sure has classes like painting, life drawing and history of art. He made quick friends with professors there but haven’t really clicked with any of the students. Other than that, his school life remains a mystery to me. Especially since there are numerous art schools in the area.

I believe he does some freelance work and gets payed pretty well for it. He paints well, in my opinion, at least. Things M showed me are pretty good but what do I know, I'm not an art critic. From fingerprints all over the canvas M had on his wall in the past, I assume he paints primarily with his hands which is…. peculiar to say at least. Since he uses acrylic paints, I wonder how messy his fingernails must be.

((the painting has since disappeared, and from context clues I gathered that R.U and M burned it, not sure why))

His works have always been… very expressive. Colorful. Happy.

Because, that’s the thing. To me, R.U has always been so, so stable. A boy who never fails to make sure my irresponsable dick of a brother is safe and sound. A boy who lets his best friend steal his old hoodies. A boy who asks his best friend to pass notes with art and encouraging words to younger brother of said friend whenever he hears I'm feeling down. A boy who feeds birds in different parks every weekend and drags his friend with him. A boy who, seemingly, never fails to make people smile.

I wonder what his newest pieces look like.