CASE LOG #77. FILED UNDER: “NON-STANDARD APPARITION: RESIDENTIAL”
CALL TO ACTION: “Hello Detective Gilmore, Last night I was all alone in my loft and I felt a cold breeze. It was cold and so sudden that I got spooked. An hour past and I felt the breeze again but it was stronger this time. It felt more like a push than a breeze. I turn around quickly and stood up, nothing was there. Then I screamed right away. I saw her it was a women hanging upside down! She shows up every other day. Please help Gilmore, Your my only hope.” -Clayton Bigsby
BEGIN LOG TRANSCRIPT.
When I arrived at Mr. Bigsby’s house, I couldn't help but stare. It was as though someone had built the house upside down on purpose, or else plucked up a perfectly good home and turned it on its head. It took poor Mr. Bigsby several minutes to unlock the door (it remains unclear whether this was due to the door’s irregular angle, or the multitude of locks holding it shut). A small, moon-faced man, he ushered me into the house mumbling something I could not hear nor was I listening to, too busy taking in the strangeness of the house.
If I find a place strange, it’s safe to say it's a strange place.
It was exactly as you'd imagine a well-kept mid-century upper-class home, so long as everything you imagined about it was upside down. I had to step around a chandelier on my way down (up?) the spiral staircase, and often found myself catching Mr. Bigsby, saving him from his surest demise. It was amazing to me that, living alone as he did, he hadn’t already broken his neck. I don’t like to throw the word “raving” around, but it was clear Mr. Bigsby was raving, from his constant mumbling to the wide and wild look in his red-rimmed eyes.
My first clue should have been the erratic grammar of Mr. Bigsby’s Call To Action, but, as Frank often tells me, I see too much good in people. In any case, it’s shameful that it took me until I saw the Upside Down Woman in the upper (lower?) floor of the House of Bigsby to realize that it was not Mr. Bigsby being haunted at all, but himself (unwittingly) doing the haunting.
The poor Upside Down Woman was scared to pieces, huddled in her corner, and shrieked when she saw me enter after Mr. Bigsby (or, more accurately, Mr. Bigsby’s apparition). I tried to appear as harmless as possible. Frank says this is not difficult for me to do. I disagree. But I digress--I reached into my briefcase and showed the Upside Down Woman my Officiated Paranormal Detective Badge (™), which seemed to calm her. “Do not worry,” I said. “I am here to help!” I said.
So saying, I helped. Banishing Mr. Bigsby’s apparition to the next plane was as easy as showing him his own reflection.
I can’t say with certainty how the House of Bigsby righted itself, only that one moment, I was standing on the ceiling and She was standing on the floor, and the next, we were both standing on the floor, and Mr. Bigsby was gone. I helped the Upside Down Woman (Miss Bigsby, she introduced herself, once she calmed down) to the sitting room, where she told me her father (the late-late Mr. Bigsby) had died months ago, and reappeared the week before acting as though he’d awoken from a long sleep and was still dreaming. I shudder, even now, safe in my office, to think of how awful that week must have been for Miss Bigsby.
Yet I rest easy, knowing that Case #77 has come to a positive close, and Miss Bigsby is recuperating with friends.
On the other hand, I rest uneasy, wondering how these events came to pass. Could it have something to do with the people—things, Beings—who are after Frank? This is as far from a standard apparition case as it can be. Excuse me, friends, I must consult my notes, and return to you next time with my findings.
END OF TRANSCRIPT.
Got a case for Detective Gilmore? Send your call to action to firstname.lastname@example.org