I need her the one who is there when no one was I need her the one who cuts me with her words I need her the one who drowns me in pain I need her the one who made me so afraid but I need her

I need her the one who is always there the one who screams her painful words the ones that cut me like a knife the that one who made me afraid to sleep at night the one who lives in my mind we constantly fault we constantly struggled with one another for who was in control but now her words are like whispers and I can only hear them if I pay close attention and she doesn't fight me for control I don't know what happened to her she's not as strong as she used to be she's a week shadowy figure in the back of my mind she still is there but I can't feel her Like I used I never realized how much I needed her I didn't think I'd ever miss her the pain she inflicted that cut Like a knife why do I miss that pain why do I miss her words was it because she was always there was I just used to her hurting me I never thought I would need her but I can't help but feel like I need her