The next morning I saw that all that remained from the feeding was a slight bruise, but thankfully no one questioned me about it. I covered it up with a bandage, and then my weekly schedule started. Time began to fly by as I followed it, the activity classes were much more involved than I expected. The kickboxing alone made me sore for an entire week. It made trying to dance an even more hazardous affair than it would have been already, causing me to stumble over feet and into other people, earning shrill giggles of entertainment from Victoria and her groupies. Zain, to my relief, didn’t always attend the class with her, since he had more than just studies to worry about.

I found to my surprise that the time slot for my math and reading courses accidentally corresponded with Claire’s, which was a huge relief. Any required group or partner work was easier to approach since I knew her, but to my dismay I didn’t have any other courses with anyone else. The tension during those periods were deafening, as everyone’s eyes and whispers would follow me with anticipation and unease. My training classes with Zain were even more tense, as we were both being taught how to do certain things like what Zain had done during feeding, and given “homework” to practice. We both were fully aware that neither of us had any intention of spending any more extra time with one another, but given that I was the Bride I was expected to keep a journal of my daily habits and observations about myself, to monitor changes. The Horse Care class, which I thought I would get to have with Wendy but as it turns out most days she misses her classes(much to Amber’s clear disappointment), was even worse as the vampire I had met, Adrian, refused to even look at me, radiating unease at my very presence.

There was a noticeable difference, too, between the behaviors of vampires and the behaviors of humans around me. The humans’ unease stemmed from curiosity and awe, and the uncertainty of how to address or approach me, like meeting or realizing you’ve been talking to a celebrity. Many of them wanted to speak formally, feeling nervous about any sort of casual interaction. But the vampires...most of them actively wanted to avoid interacting with me, some out of some unknown fear and some out of distaste. There were a few that would speak to me only out of politeness, such as when I needed help finding a specific classroom or with directions, but I could always tell they wanted any interaction to be as short as possible.

I suppose it was just as well, I didn’t want to grow too comfortable here. I was already beginning to forget how dangerous they could be.

And speaking of danger...my meetings with Zain once a week had become an annoying, unexpected, irregular thing. I got the feeling he was doing it on purpose; he probably enjoys appearing out of nowhere and startling me every time, just to get on my nerves. I still look back each time, surprised at myself, with how sharp and curt I would be to him, despite the fact that he could, and almost did, kill me. We would argue back and forth in the most immature manner, and then would grow silent in awkward truce just before the actual feeding.

That was something, too, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. The pain became less and less sharp, less, well, painful. But the drinking sensation, the feeling of someone sucking on my skin, from my body...I shudder just thinking about it. It wasn’t...bad, but it was such a weird and unnerving feeling that I dread every time it has to happen.

The last dregs of summer gave way to the cool fall wind, and before I knew it, it was November. Halloween had come and gone, everyone dressing up the week before for a big bonfire party the evening of the 30th, with hotdogs and smores and games and candy. Claire tried to get me to join in on the traditional Jack-o-Lantern walk, where a single person would walk through a maze in the dark with nothing but a pumpkin lantern while getting frightened along the way, not unlike a haunted house walk. I politely declined, but enjoyed the end of night celebration and music. Now all anyone could talk about was the Winter Solstice, a ball held in December to celebrate the longest night of the year.

In a few weeks time my birthday would soon come and pass. I couldn’t help but wonder what had become of my memory outside the castle. I wondered whether anyone was looking for me, whether I was suspected to be dead. I wondered how mom was doing. She would be distraught, I was sure, thinking the worst had happened, probably thinking dad had escaped and found me, or one of his friends.

I shuddered at the memory of him, bringing back the ghost of a sting on my back. I hadn’t thought about dad for years. We had made a promise never to talk about it, mom and I, in order to move on from his memory. It had been a happy day when he was put away, even if it had meant losing our home and relocating. The things he did, the anger…

I shook my head. Lets not think about it. I should still be trying to find a way to escape, anyway.

The library became my favorite place to be, especially as the days grew colder. Ms. Lorely, the vampire in charge of keeping it, was a lot nicer than I once took her for. She was one of the very, very few vampires that didn’t care about my status or position and was only bothered by how I treated her books. She saw me quite often, as reading was one of my favorite escapes, and started offering me hot chocolate when she knew I was coming. Sometimes she would chat with me about the books I would check out, other times just give me a polite nod of understanding. This was one of the few places, I’ve learned, where I wouldn’t be bothered by unwanted stares and whispers.

She didn’t mind me going to the second floor, either, after seeing her books returned in the same condition I borrowed them in. Not that I would ever take any of these books from the library; they were so delicate and old I was afraid of even going back downstairs with them. The old section was always empty of visitors, too, so it made for a nice place to hide away from any extra prying eyes.

Many of the old books were written in a different language, making it difficult to find anything useful pertaining to my situation. The Bride classes I had been taking had been very informative in what to expect and how to handle the different changes; I was getting better at hiding my thoughts and emotions from Zain, much to his satisfaction and my relief in knowing I’d have a little more privacy. But nothing yet about how this bond necessarily works, other than its like a “magic knot” that ties us together and evokes change. And the books I have found only confirmed what I was told in class. There was still the top floor, but no matter where I poked around there didn’t seem to be any way up.

I yawned sleepily, enjoying a day off in the warmth of the dorm common room, when an envelope fell into my lap, my name written on the front in a smooth and legible cursive, in addition to a couple of large, soft, squishy packages.

“You’ve got mail,” Claire said with quoted enthusiasm, grinning. “Looks like your stuff came in.”

“Thank god,” I said, opening the packages as Claire went back to the kitchenette for her snacks. With the change of weather I had expressed the need for new clothes, and everyone decided to make a shopping trip to the tailor in the center of the castle, where the other point-based shops were located, to pick out some styles and be fitted and measured. It was the first use I made of the points I had accumulated so far, and it felt pretty nice, like spending my own money. And the clothes were super nice; a soft, plush, wine-purple turtleneck, some new jeans that actually had useful-sized pockets and fit exactly where I wanted them, some new fingerless gloves, and a few other casual shirts, sweaters, and shoes, all handmade. I felt pretty good about the haul.

And then came that envelope, only addressed by my name and with no sender. Curiously, I opened it up to read:

‘I’ve seen you snooping around a bit, and might have the information you seek. Meet me at the large oak tree west of the stables in the evening at 9 o’clock next Thursday. Tell no one of this letter.

~ a friend.’

I stared at the letter, unsure what to think as a strange sensation settle in the pit of my stomach. A tiny, albeit doubtful, hope filled my head. Could...could this be real? Could they actually know what I’ve been looking for? Could this be my way out? And how did they know?

My attention was scattered for the following days into the weekend; someone here had to have sent it, right? Someone who knew me, or at the very least who sees me on a regular basis. It could be anyone; there were so many people. It could be Dmitri, or Amber, or maybe Ms. Lorely, or Adrian or…

“You alright?” Claire asked, worried, after I had been sitting and staring at my food blankly for ten minutes.

“What? Oh, right, yeah, sorry, just...lost in thought.” I took a bite of food but could hardly taste it.

Later that night I woke up less than an hour and a half after going to bed from a nightmare. Something was watching me, eyes following me everywhere, something unseen and dangerous. Sometimes I was running, sometimes I was trying to hide. Everytime I tried to fall back asleep I was woken up by just the sensation that something was wrong.

I got out of bed, giving up on falling asleep and deciding to find something to do. This sensation has been persisting ever since I arrived, and it made me anxious, like it was warning me of something bad. I need a distraction, something calming… The library would be locked up by now save for vampire visitors, and even though Ms. Lorely would probably let me in, I wasn’t even sure if there was an enforced curfew for the Day Wing or not and didn’t want to trouble her. But I didn’t want to stay in the dorms. I felt antsy, like I need to let out some energy and get away for a bit.

A thought crossed my mind, something I could at least go check and see: the pools. There wouldn’t be anyone there, and they might not even be locked. Even if they were, I could at least walk around. They’d understand if I didn’t know there was a curfew, I’m sure.

Before I could change my mind I grabbed a small bag and stuffed my swimsuit in it with a couple towels (despite the fact that there would probably be towels in the locker rooms), and left the dorms.

The halls were colder than I expected; I thought about turning back for a jacket for a brief moment, but for some reason I didn’t want to go back inside, similar to the unknown feeling I had about staying inside. I pressed onward towards the courtyard, feeling that sense of deja vu I hadn’t felt since the weird dream two months ago. The air bit my cheeks with the threat of frost, and I crossed it as quickly as I could, pushing the memory aside.

With relief I found the pool door, even more relieved that it was unlocked, as a blast of warmth and chlorine hit my face when I opened it. A heated pool in the middle of fall sounded even more amazing than I initially realized. With a little bit of nervousness, and after quickly checking to see that I was for sure alone, I switched into my swimsuit and stepped into the water.

It was colder than the air but by this time I had warmed up. I floated about, feeling refreshed as the tensions seemed to just wash away. Thoughts of everything drifted off as I enjoyed the sounds and lights from the water reflecting off the walls and glass ceiling. Moonlight poured in gently, and I found myself falling into the old warm-ups I used to do from the swim class mom was able to afford one summer. That was back when...back before he left, and was the one solace of peace I had outside of school. Back when reality was at least normal. The water was really good at making me forget everything, even that reminder, as all I felt was relaxed.

After an undetermined amount of time I was ready to head back. I quickly dried myself and my swimsuit and got back into normal clothes. Stepping out of the heated room and shivering, I made a mental note to remember warmer clothes next time, because I already knew I would need a next time.

Not too long after leaving the pool room I heard voices echoing in the halls, coming towards me. At first I wondered who else would be out this late, and talking so loudly. Then panic filled me; suddenly I felt like I was somewhere I shouldn’t be. I dove behind a bushy potted plant to hide, feeling immediately dumb. This would look even more suspicious if I was found like this!

Too late to change my mind as the voices rounded the corner.