“Hey mister! Hey mister! This is no place to sleep. Wake up! Wake up!”
Huh?
“Hey little boy. Wake up! Wake up! Why are you sleeping in this place? Hey little boy! Wake up.”
What?
“Am I not lovable grandpa? Why can’t I be loved like everyone else? Am I not lovable?”
Yuna.
Memories. I remember everything now. These things that I imagined... they pointed to me what’s real, what’s the truth. Everything is coming back to me. Why haven’t I told you back then? Why did I fail you all this time? Why haven’t I told you that I love you? While we were still together in that cold and rainy mountain city? When I still have that chance? Is this my punishment? To see you again and again in different time, place, and age?
“Wake up.”
When I opened my eyes, I saw what I think to be one of the most beautiful sights that I ever saw, if not the most beautiful. She was standing, there, wearing a broad white hat and a deep navy blue dress adorned with several white stripes, beside the railing of a long and winding road built on the side of a mountain range, and slightly elevated from the shore. She was gazing at something far beyond the sea, as if waiting, for something or someone. The upper background was radiant with the blinding whiteness of the clouds and the blue sky. Though it was broad daylight, there’s this coolness or even coldness lingering around that scene. Maybe it was because of the sight of the mountain being kissed somehow by the clouds, like what usually happens in that cold and rainy mountain city. Some vehicle was passing by every now and then. Everything has this ethereal glow of the colors blue, white, and green.
“Yuna.”
I took just that longing utterance for me to remember how she used to be the trusting kind.
It hurts.
How she was the one who approached me—me, a loner in that mountain city, who shunned everyone.
It hurts.
But now, I believe she lost her faith. Do you remember, Yuna? Was it me? The person who hurt you? Was it me who broke your faith? You ignore me now and asks who I am. Have you really forgotten me, or you just don’t want to see me again?
It hurts so much.
I walked towards her, and was frightened. No matter how long I walked or how fast or many the steps I took, I cannot reach her. She remained distant. I ran and ran but still I cannot go anywhere near her. I was like a person trying to go up through the wrong escalator. Time passed by almost unnoticed by me, until at last, the twilight arrived, and ornamented the scene with its mournful yet still somehow hopeful colors. I fell and tripped over my own foot many times. My feet, my ankles, my knees, my elbows, and my hands were already bleeding. I was thirsty. I was tired. I was out of breath. And now, the faster I run, and the more desperate I became, the more distant she becomes. I froze on that spot. I became afraid to walk on or even move because she might disappear completely.
“Yuna!”
Somehow, I thought, if she would just turn to see me, at least for a moment, I shall finally be able to rest in peace, but she never looked at my direction—I was wrong.
“Yuna! I’m sorry!” I shouted for her to hear me. “I didn’t want to ignore you! I should have told you that I love you! I shouldn’t have put some distance between us! I was afraid. I didn’t know what to do. I’m not that experienced when it comes to love. I’m so sorry… Please forgive me… I should have let you know and feel that you are loved by me, while we were still studying there in that university—in that cold and rainy mountain city! Before I left… Before you went back again to your country… I shouldn’t have failed you! I love you! I love you! Is it already too late? Is there nothing left for me to do? Yuna… I love you.”
The darkness was gathering all around me faster and faster. And I thought, “I shall be lost once again. I shall start the same vicious cycle again.”
"Yuna... can you hear me? Please say that you do...."
I was wrong.
"Forgive me..."
"I love you."
And then the Moon suddenly showed her beautiful whiteness just when I thought everything’s lost, and she provided light amidst that thickening darkness. A sweet music started playing in the air. Yuna, then, glowing with the brilliance of the moon, turned and smiled at me. A calm, and tender, and sweet breeze swept through our beings.
She smiled at me.
It was enough to break my heart and gladden it at the same time. Once again, she became so near to me.
She said, with the voice I almost forgot, and with a mysterious twinkle in her eye: “We have hope. Wake up now. The final sleep for us to live in that beautiful dream is not yet. Wake up now. We have hope.”
And she, and the Moon, and that place, lightened up, until all that I saw was just pristine whiteness.

Comments (0)
See all