“Stay with me”
Her pained whisper filled my head, all thoughts left my mind as those words swirled around it constantly. I held her gently in my arms but she still shook violently, her fear seeped into my skin, my muscles, my bones. I could feel every weakness and strength she had overlap into my body as she whispered once more.
“Stay with me”
This girl had been my goal for so many years it pained my heart to think what was happening was real, this had to be a dream. It was impossible for her to love me, it was impossible for her to feel the same way i do. I tried to think, what could she possibly mean by these words?
“I need you, please”
Finally tears left her eyes and i hugged her closely, it was hard to believe that everyone was ignoring us, we were sitting in the middle of the pavement hugging on the floor. The rain pelted our bodies and our clothes were soaked in seconds. I don't know why she was in so much pain, i couldn’t understand her anguish. This girl had simply found me and pushed herself into my arms, she shook violently with her breathing unsteady, her legs collapsed beneath her and i sat her down whilst hugging her tightly. I don't know how long we sat there, or how many times she pleaded for me to stay by her side. Me being unable to ever deny her anything.
I could do nothing but make her wish come true. Despite the amount of pain it put me in.
“I promise, i’ll stay by your side forever”
She smiled then, hugging me tighter and her tears stopped soon after. Pulling away from me she held my face and looked me in the eyes.
“I love you Lizzy!”
She pressed her forehead against mine tenderly, eyes closed and smiling, i could only smile painfully back, my heart slowly splitting in two. Her love was of friendship, everlasting friendship. But mine had always been more, i forced myself to hide everything. She needed me, even if she never thought of me as a partner she relied on me as a friend and...she loved me. It may not be the way i want it to be, it may be excruciatingly painful. But i love her so much. I can’t ever change that.
“Let’s go inside”
She nodded and i stood her up, walking her to my apartment and offering her my shower to get clean and dry, she looked good in my clothes, but then she looked good in anything. Her rosey red wavy hair accented her small tear-dropped face and her freckles made her look younger than she was. Even with tear soaked under eyes she looked beautiful and her green eyes drew all attention away from everything else. She seemed happier in my home, freedom was the emotion she expressed when she collapsed happily onto my softest sofa and she smiled at me as I was about to go into the bathroom.
“If you need help washing your back i don’t mind!!”
“Ha, i think i’m okay. Watch some tv and relax for a bit, i’ll get the duvet out after i’ve washed”
I walked into the bathroom locking the door behind me, but found myself with my back pressed up against it, staring at the floor whilst holding my chest and fighting off the urge to cry. She’s always acted naive, she’s always acted like a child, no matter how old we get. We’re both in our twenties now but...she still acts like she’s a teen. It hurts to refuse her when she offers to shower with me, for her we’re just close friends and it would simply be fun to wash each others backs and hair. But if i let her in here with me, i wouldn’t be able to hold back on doing more. I wouldn’t be able to shrug it off as a joke when she got uncomfortable and i would end up hurting her trust in me.
Even though i’m going to pull out the sofa bed for her, she will probably come and sleep in my bed with me. She’s always hated the dark, a complete child who has to sleep with company or not sleep at all.
Sighing i walk away from the door, strip down to my bare skin and go into the shower closing the door behind me and running the water. Steaming hot water that she used washes over me, my straight black hair sticking to my skin as the water runs over my whole body. I couldn’t help but smile. Small things like sharing the same shower, using the shampoo that she used and seeing her wear my clothes makes me both happy and sad. Happy that i can be so close to her but sad that it will only ever be a fleeting feeling. My entire world revolves around that red head and despite everything, my entire world will always revolve around her... At least until she’s tired of me. But i pray that never happens.
“Hey!! Lizzy!! What’re you doing in there! I swear it’s been an hour already!! How long do you usually take in the shower!!?”
“Huh! An hour!! No way! I have to get dinner ready!”
I shouldn’t of rushed, I was in shock when she told me how long i’d been in the shower. Who wouldn’t be shocked? I turned the water off and spun round opening the door and grabbing the towel but i slipped and face-planted the floor all in one swift movement. Unable to keep in the pained yelp that was in my throat i shouted in pain almost immediately after.
“Lizzy!!? Hey are you okay?! That thump was super loud!”
“Hnn, gh...ah o-ow”
“Hey! I’m coming in okay?”
“No way! I’m not leaving you in there when it sounded like you hurt yourself!!”
She tried to open the door but sure enough i’d locked it and she struggled. I could only smirk in relief as she struggled to bash the door down, she was much shorter and weaker than me too. There was no way she could get in. Even though I thought that, i’d forgotten she knew how to pick locks due to her rebellious childhood and it wasn’t long until her eyes rested on my sprawled naked body. Thankfully i was laying on my front, the towel beside me and a puddle of water beneath me, i was holding my face but that didn’t stop her seeing the blood leaking from my nose.
Immediately rushing out of the room she came back with my sleeping gown and put it over my shoulders, sitting me up i put my arms through the sleeves and tied up the gown, my nose leaking blood all the more.
“Urh, what am i gonna do with you! I’m supposed to be the clumsy one! Stop trying to copy me Liz!”
“Heh! l-like i’d want to be like you!”
“Ah! I am very offended by that!!”
She spoke seriously, the two of us stared at each other for a moment before laughing but it hurt to laugh and i couldn’t resist the dizzy spell that followed.
“Eh, okay let’s get you dry and in bed before you pass out”
“Ah, it-its okay. I can walk”
“No you really can’t, now come on let me walk you to your room”
It felt nice to be helped by her, she was the most caring person i’d ever known. More caring than my own family. She helped me up, my arm over her shoulder as she held my waist and walked me to my room. It always shocked me how she got over things easily, not too long ago she was crying into my chest begging for me to stay by her, yet now she was smiling and joyful. Helping me because i was too clumsy to get out of the shower properly. She’s a different type of person to me, she’s weak and fragile when alone but as soon as she knows she has someone to rely on she’s strong and energetic, bouncy and cheerful. I’m completely different...i guess i restrain myself a lot, but it seems like she never holds back on anything.
“Honestly Lizzy, how did you even manage to slip?”
“I don’t really know, heh heh, it just kind of happened”
She sighed at me then sat me down on my bed as she rummaged through my wardrobe for clothes.
“Hm? What’s up?”
I stared at her as she continued looking through my clothes, trying to find something comfortable for me, i could only smile at her kindness. I’d known her for seventeen years, i could tell she was overly worried from the amount of rushing she was doing and i smiled tiredly. Swinging my legs onto my bed i laid down and stared at the ceiling.
“Liz? What did you want to say?”
The redhead turned around and glance at me curiously, I only smiled at the ceiling and closed my eyes.