They'll never believe me that's what she told me constantly the girl sitting in my mind they'll think you're crazy that's what she always told me they'll never believe me the words I believe so deeply

I was afraid scared to tell people about my anxiety because feeling like there's someone else in your mind telling you things makes you feel crazy I was afraid of what people would think afraid that they will hate me that they won't love me but it was my anxiety the one in my mind telling me these things the longer I held it in the more power I give it I didn't know that because I was afraid tell anyone eventually my anxiety got to the point where it wasn't just hurting me emotionally it was hurting me physically I started having chest pain I felt like I couldn't breathe I didn't understand what was wrong with me my mother thought I had asthma I was just afraid I didn't know I went to the doctor they told me I had some condition, costochondritis it's where the cartilage of your rib cage gets irritated they asked me if I had any problems that would cost me get panic attacks because that can irritate it and cause this condition I was afraid then I let the words come out I have anxiety that was the first time I ever told anyone that was the first time I ever admitted it not just to someone else but to myself a couple weeks later the pain didn't go away it was still there so they did a chest x-ray and blood work I was scared because I have hemophobia the fear of blood but I know I had to do so I got through it my doctor referred me to a therapist and I started going to therapy for my anxiety I started taking medication was on 4 medications before I found the one that worked for me the pain started to go away my doctor figured that it was just because of the panic attacks I was having that was causing the pain and irritation to my chest sometimes I still feel that pain and I know that that means that I'm letting her get to me My anxiety I let her to me a little too much last night and I almost had a panic attack so my chest has been pretty much been hurting all day they'll never believe me that's what I thought but they did now I feel like I'm finally getting the help I need I feel so much better than I ever have before I just wish that I stop listening to her sooner they'll never believe me but they did