I stared up at the ceiling, an ache throbbing steadily behind my eyes. I was laying in bed, the blankets a warm cocoon around me. I dragged my tongue over my lips, both the inside and outside of my mouth felt like sandpaper.
There was a soft sound I turned to see Max standing there, offering me a glass of water. I tried to sit up and reach for it, eager to quench my thirst, but instead all I could do was raise a shaky hand up and wince as my headache intensified. Concerned, Max lifted me up with an arm around my back and gently pressed the cup to my lips.
After I drank my fill, I sighed and let my head loll onto his shoulder. I felt drained, my arms feeling like putty and my eyelids were so heavy.
“Luka,” Max whispered. He knelt on the bed, lifting me into his lap and allowing me to collapse fully into his arms. “Do you remember what happened?” I frowned.
“What do you mean?” I asked quietly. Max grimaced.
“The test,” He asked slowly. “You don’t remember?”
I felt as cool as frost for a moment, sweat freezing to my skin. I licked my dry lips, looking up at him and shaking my head.
Max sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
I didn’t remember, it’d happened before but sometime I’d lie awake at night and flashes of panic and uncontrollable fear that made my palms sweat and my heart palpitate would fill my mind. I brought the covers up over the both of us, my hands feeling cold to the touch.
“You passed out.” He murmured slowly, leaning against the headboard and pulling me snugly against his chest. “You woke pretty quickly, but it wasn’t like anything I’d seen before. Your eyes were glassy, and you bristled up. Marc took a step forward, and you snarled, like you’d shifted without shifting.” I grimaced and pulled the blanket higher up, wanting to hide for a moment longer. I knew the wolf was there, was in charge. I wanted no one to see me like that, but they called for a test of loyalty for. If I refused, they’d have driven me out. Part of me suspected that the Shay lady would happily be the one to do so.
“Then?:” I asked quietly, fearing the answer.
“You growled and tried to run away, but we were all circled around you. Alpha Marc put his hand on your head and you went quiet, you didn’t move or bare your teeth or anything. You bowed your head as he scented you. Then you passed out.” I blushed, curling and uncurling my fingers in the fabric of his shirt. His large hands massaged my scalp, seeming to not mind the fact I was a freak.
“You don’t think... I’m weird?” Max shook his head.
“No, Luka. I really don’t.” My lower lip wobbled dangerously, and I wiped at my eyes quickly.
“Why?” I sniffled.
“You really don’t know, do you?” I frowned at the slight hurt in his voice. I pressed my face into his shoulder and hummed a negative. He laughed, the sound harsh. “Figured.”
“I’m... I’m sorry.” I whispered. He sighed and leaned his forehead against my curl.
“No, don’t be. It’s all right, I’m expecting too much from you.” I sat up, planting my hands on his chest to keep me upright.
“I’m confused,” I was trying to frown again but it probably look more like a pout. “What are you talking about? What don’t I know?” Max smiled tenderly, rubbing a large thumb across my cheek.
“Can’t you tell your mate apart from anyone else?”
My face pinched up.
“What’s a mate?”
~
I was curled up under the bed, biting my fist to muffle my sobs. After my question, Max had tensed up before sliding me off him and walking out the door.
He left and I couldn’t breathe. My throat had closed up and static was crackling in my ears. I blinked through my tears but the world still blurred and went out of focus, I suddenly wished I’d grabbed the blanket before I’d crawled under to cry as quietly as possible. Sweat gathered on the inside crease of my elbow, the palm of my hands and along the nape of my neck. I could hear my breath each time I exhaled, the warm air making condensation gather on the wood and turning it slick with saliva.
Snot dribbled from my nose and tiny whistles escaped my nose. I The tears quickly dried because my eyes felt too dry to be normal. My nose continued to run, creating a disgusting mess I didn’t even try to wipe away. I felt like I’d be sick any moment, pain in my chest throbbing in sharp jabs.
The ground was spinning and my mind was fogging up, my vision blacking out momentarily. I felt like I was convulsing, my chest jumping every few seconds as my shoulder twitches randomly. Panting uncontrollably, I feared that it’d never stop.
I focused on what I was physically feeling, shying away from the screaming in my brain. It didn’t work as much as I wanted to, but as I clenched my hands tightly into fists, I concentrated on the dull pain to escape the dark curtains being pulled over my eyes.
Apparently I’d been breathing too swiftly because everything faded and I felt like I was falling.
Comments (4)
See all