Due his paranoia, I changed his name. I know he hates the idea of being mentioned with his real identity or picture. So, I won’t. Instead I’ll talk about my experience with him.

Now, I met him through mutual friends. We had about the same amount of knowledge, he was one of the rare people I could really talk to. We could start with silly jokes, to occult or history debates. It was fun to do so.

Never did I think I would meet someone so perfect. He was there for me when Nator broke up with me. Worst mistake we could both make.

I knew he was not happy with his relationship, and I was falling in love with him. It happened in a convention...his then girlfriend kissed me. Soft and sweet...I loved it for some reason. It happened about four times, each one followed by a kiss from him. I was in heaven.

I fell more and more. He knew I loved him, he cried because he felt miserable for this. He did not understand why I fell for him. But how couldn’t I? Charles showed to me a side that almost nobody knew, I was keeping every secret he had, hugs and touches that only we understood, silly flirting nobody seemed to notice or get.

I kissed him many times, even if I knew he was in a relationship. Till he begged me to hate him, also telling me I was nothing but a friend.

It broke me again.

Worse? Months later he started to go it with a girl younger than us, that used to treat him like shit and now is more possessive than I thought possible. Then again, he is too.

It angered me to no end. It wasn’t fair, I had been waiting for him. Aching for him to come back and choose me again when he left his manipulative ex.

He didn’t.

I felt replaced, shattered...used.

A while later we made amends, he being one of the few who understood my crazy depressive moments. Managing to find ways to calm me down. He is now my brother, a friend.

Yea, I still want to yell “fuck you! Shove it up your ass! Don’t talk to me after fucking using me!” Sometimes I crave to hurt him and make him shed the same amount of tears I did for him, make beg for friendship and forgiveness till I’m satisfied. But I won’t. I have an image to keep.

I hope he turns into the best anthropologist out there. And that he never EVER does to anyone the harm he did to me.