An amazing writer and someone I admire very much. Though I am not in favor of all her views (feminism, I’m an egalitarian), she is an amazing person. I met her online, we used to talk almost every day.

We even wrote a few stories together. But my twisted love views kinda made her take her space.

I also did too...when I had depressive outbursts I used to go to her...until she told me she gave up on me, that I was sick.

I felt betrayed, I felt mad! I needed to prove the intellectual wrong. And so I tried, by going to a psychiatrist for the first time…

Guess what?

She was right.

I was mentally sick, I had depression. I had suicidal thoughts but never acted on them...till medicine made my heart rate and body go crazy.

Till I harmed myself.

Kira’s words always echoed in my mind “I give up! You don’t want to get better!”

A slap on the face, that’s how it felt.

You can’t depend on anyone, nobody is there. I learned my lesson. All though I admire her, love her to bits...she isn’t one of the reasons to keep living.

Everyone has been a bystander, a critic...trying to solve my life for me instead of being there for me.

And when I really need help or intervention...it’s only done when it’s too late. Why is everyone so blind?

I wish I hadn’t scared her away...or made her uncomfortable. Because now it gets harder and harder to have convection with society.