The cafe didn't have too many people which both of them liked. Archer wouldn't have to fight anyone for the comic he'd like to read, and Clyde wouldn't bump into someone he knows. They sat at the innermost corner table. They were surrounded by shelves of comic books. The walls were painted to look like you're inside one, there were panels, sound effects and tones painted all across the room. Even the tables and chairs were styled in this effect.

" What are you having?" Archer asked. He took a quick glance at Clyde who was too busy reading the menu.

"Probably green tea and Ceasar salad. Do you think they have any coffee jelly around here?" He casually asked.

"Clyde, you're a boring eater. What's the point of eating healthy if you're just going to stuff however much coffee jelly in your mouth?" 

Clyde quickly searched his bag. ." Even if they don't have coffee jelly, it wouldn't be a problem. I always carry one with me." It was a 5 pack coffee flavoured pudding, never opened. He removed the seal and opened the cup to take in the smell. Archer weirdly looked at him. It made him uncomfortable to see someone fill their lungs with the smell of pudding.

"Why don't you just snort it? and don't eat that, they have it here. "

Clyde stopped smelling the dessert. He looked at Archer with narrowed eyes.

" Then I wouldn't be able to breathe, idiot. And what's boring about eating healthy? You're probably going to order something sweet like strawberry shake and chocolate cake."

"Aww, you know me so well but I'm adding Alfredo to that.  " He replied in a sweet tone.

"You're diabetic." He pointed out with a sharp look.

"Don't act all high and mighty. You don't see me carrying around a whole freaking cake much less a pack of gum." He rolled his eyes.

They ordered their food and waited for it to be prepared. Archer read comics while Clyde checked up on the office. He took the phone call outside. It would have been rude to do it in front of company, even if it's Archer.  Llyod told him that Nolan was staying true to his word, which is the best he'll ever get. When he got back, the food was already there and Archer was already complaining about what took him so long. 

Clyde ignored his whinging and sat back down. He mixed his pudding cup in his Ceasar salad while Archer watched in disgust. He knows his roommate is obsessed with coffee jelly to the point of wanting to marry it. But to mix it in with his salad? He has never seen him do that before. This was absolutely vile. Clyde should go to jail for it, sit in the clink and reflect on his actions. He'd pay top taxes for that.

"What the fuck?" He asked before Clyde could take a bite.

Clyde raised a brow and proceeded to eat the concoction.

Archer shook his head. "No, explain whatever that is."

Clyde sighed and placed his fork back on the bowl. " The sweetness and bitterness of the pudding mixed with the sourness of the salad's vinaigrette is a good combo. Also, the softness of the pudding helps me appreciate the crunchiness of the salad. It's a good mouth-feel. It's basic food science. Plus, they're going to end up in the same place anyway." He spoke in a matter-of-fact tone as his fingers repeatedly tapped the table. 

"This shake and cake will also end up in the same place, but I'm not doing that. No sane person is." 

"Don't wrap your head around it. Only evolved species  such as I can fully understand this." He smirked and then took another bite of his meal.

"I hate everything you just said." 

"Oh no." 

"Frankly, I am learning things I do not want to learn. Our date hasn't even started yet." Archer said while he took a forkful of the cake.

"This isn't a date" He clarified while tossing his salad.

"Okay, okay. How's your day so far?" He asked. He wanted to focus his attention on something else besides Clyde's questionable eating habits. 

"Why do you ask?" 

"Clyde, how else will we get to know each other?" He rolled his eyes as he sipped his shake.

"So far my day's been tolerable despite spending the end of it with you. How about you?" He asked back, ignoring the fact that Archer called him by his first name. Is this the first time Archer did so? He honestly doesn't have a clue. His senses are just heightened by this not-date. He's fully alert because Clyde Carter does not date, it's a whole affair of a mess that steals away his sleep.

" It's ah....not good."

" Because?"

Archer showed the comic to Clyde. He leaned on the table to see it more clearly. It was a teacher, questionably kissing a student. Should he arrest Archer now?   

" This wasn't supposed to happen! This is not what I signed up for. I wanted her to end up with her classmate for crying out loud." He partly lied.

Because of you, idiot. I notice every single detail of your action, from the way you blink in a fast succession when you hear something unbelievable to the way you gently tap your fingers on the table when you're irritated. It's creepy. I'm creepy for noticing things like that. 

"Why do I even bother. " He shook his head and laid back on his seat.

" Yeah, yeah, poor you. I get it. "

Clyde rolled his eyes. " How old are you?"

"You don't ask your date's age on the first date, how rude!" Archer gasped as he clutched at imaginary pearls around his neck.

"This isn't a date. I need to know your basic information if we want this to work. I'm 26."

"Same but not until  October 17."

"July 5th."

"Ha!" Archer laughed. " You're older than me. Should I call you Grandpa from now on?"

"Ha-ha very funny. " He replied nonchalantly.

Clyde reached for pepper and salt. He sprinkled a sparse amount on his salad. Archer was a bit shocked seeing this. He thought Clyde was already done murdering his tastebuds. He wondered what that salad tastes like at this point, if it even is worth calling food. Next time, he's not taking Clyde anywhere where people can see them. 

"How's the so-called stalker by the way?"

Archer's shoulders slumped and his face contorted " Terrible, She announced to the whole class that I used to date her."

"And what did she hope to gain from that?"

"I don't even know. She's crazy." The only reason he agreed to date her in the first place is so she could possibly move on. That did not happen, she carried a torch for how many years now? Archer doesn't even know. He really tried to like but he called it quits. It's insane he has to force himself to like someone. 

"Have you tried ignoring her ?" Clyde continued.

Archer sighed and nodded slowly "Tried it, but she just wore me down."

For a second, Clyde was glad that  Archer got a taste of his own medicine. It did alarm him that someone can out-wore Archer.

Archer clearly remembers what happened that day. He decided to ignore her. Never looked her way, smiled politely or even greeted her. However, she took it the wrong way. She felt more excited than before. She thought it was some sort of challenge. She stuck to him like glue for a day. It was very annoying but back then, he did not want to hurt anyone's feelings yet.

"While you were dating, did you show her all your unlikable traits?" 

"Excuse you, but I am a perfect man." He arrogantly spoke.

"Yeah, like that arrogance, did you show her that?" Clyde rudely pointed the fork at him.

"I did everything in my power. At that point, she was dating trash." Halfway through their dating period, he decided to be the worst. He never texted her, he always asked her to do something for him, he never offered to pay for any of their after-school dates, he openly flirted with girls and boys. He never acknowledged her presence.

 "Then I agree with you, she is crazy.."

" Then maybe you should improve yourself, you did say her tastes are trash."

" Impossible. This is the best I can do which I do say is pretty good for a runaway. I didn't die on the streets at least." He nonchalantly spoke.