Kiana

We were still staring at each other, having forgotten where we were both going.

Why aren’t I going to my boss’s office now? I questioned myself as I yet again stared back at him.

This time, I could see his face more properly now. Not obscured by light, or another person. This time the features were prominent to me.

His eyes, the color of sea blue, gazed back at me. His face, angular but chiseled, mouth set in a straight line. And the clothes, made him look out of place, but in a good way. All in all, he was handsome.

“You have met my brother, I presume?” My boss said in an irritated tone as he walked over to us.

I wondered if there was bad blood between the two, but it’s personal business and it’s certainly not mine.

“Ah yes, we’ve met before. In interesting circumstances.” I answered, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the middle of some unknown dispute lingering over the two.

“Well I am glad to see you two acquainted so nicely. Unfortunately, he has to get going for his day job, so he’ll see all of us later.” My boss said as he clapped a hand on his brother’s back and then exited out of the door to see his brother out.

Well that was interesting.

Walking back to my room, I glanced back, trying to see if things were alright. But they were already gone, leaving me in confusion.

*********************************

It was 12pm by the time I finished work.

My mind was exhausted and craved to eat anything edible. But my thoughts were not on how I was going to spend my lunchtime but rather that there was so much tension in the air when the two brothers were talking.

And worst of all, I couldn’t even escape the tension. I was bound to it and had no way out.

Trying to distract myself, I called and checked with one friend at a time. Starting with Kate.

“Kiaora Kate!” I respond to her greeting.

“Kiaora Kiana, how’s the first day going?” She replies, curiosity tinging her voice.

“Well Kate, things have been going okay except for one thing.” I reply to her question.

“Hold on girls, she’ll tell us, shush!” I hear Kate telling someone.

“Kate, are the girls with you?” I ask, knowing they would be there, but wanting to hear it from Kate.

“I've never been a good liar Kiana, so yes the girls are here with me. Roxy, Chanel, say hi so you don’t sound like you were only spying on our convo.” Kate says to them as if they were children. It was just so hilarious to imagine.

“Kiaora Kiana, sorry about the whole listening thing. Chanel, your turn.” Roxy responds, berating Chanel in the process.

“Kiaora Kiana, I wasn’t actually intruding in your conversation, it’s just we all wanted to call you and Kate told me we could all say something once she had finished, but Roxy just had to prod and push Kate about your job since it’s your first day, and that’s how we all ended in the callfire.” Chanel sheepishly explains to me.

“Guys, I am not angry with you, I had a feeling that all of you were there with Kate. And that means a lot to me.” I say happily.

“Aww Kiana, we’re glad to support you. You’re our friend, and there’s so much we’d do for any friend of ours.” Kate replies, in a sappy voice.

We then continued talking through my lunch break.

**********************

C

Once again, my brother had kicked me out of his life.

I knew I hadn’t done good things, but in the rest of my life, I had tried to change myself.

A lot.

Ever since Mom and Dad had died, I felt guilty for my actions.

But honestly they were actions that I only chosen to take which in some way would save my family as I thought.

And in one way, allow us to not bankrupt while me and my brother were growing.

I have been paying for my mistakes for almost 4 years. Now at the age of 23, I had paid retribution for the things I had done.

I just don't know how to make my brother forgive me. I knew I was damned the minute the color had drained from my brother’s face as I had told him my problems.

I should have known that I had caused a permanent tear in our trust for one another.

But I wanted so badly now to tell him that I changed and to let me back in his life or at least let me live a life which my parents had thought I was living, one without the crimes and the problems I caused.

A life of luxury, love and limos.

What lies.

After my brother knew about my problems, he had me kicked out of my trust fund and cut me off from my entire family.

I wouldn’t blame him, that’s what I’ll say.

But there was no way he was going to forgive me now. He probably was never going to forgive me.

I didn’t know how I was going to live with myself, cut off from my family for another, god knows how many years.

I just couldn’t.

I had to find a way for him to forgive me.

Trying to dash away my painful thoughts, I tried to get my mind to think of something else.

Then it did land on something: the girl in my brother’s office corridor.

Strange thing to think of but it was a distraction I suppose.

I mean I knew my brother’s career revolved around linguistics, but I had no idea he had someone hired new.

I kept trying to think of where I had seen the girl, but then recognition dawned.

She had been the girl from the club. The one who I had accidentally thought was Catherine La Modoe.

What a mistake.

But she was a mistake not to be forgotten. 

I didn’t know her inside out to really know who she was but what I could see from my point of view, the only good things about her were the physical attributes of her and her landing a job in my brother’s military like linguistics office.

The only good things.

Her physical attributes. Damn. As a man, it was hard to forget to someone as beautiful and gorgeous as her.

Her face, heart shaped, luscious lips, colored red like strawberries. Nose, button nose, one you could rub against playfully. Eyes, forest green which I wouldn't mind getting lost in for hours if in a real forest of hers.

And the curves. In all the right places too, damn me. Toned biceps and legs, letting you know that she cared about how she looked, albeit not as excessively. Long legs which seemed to go on forever but with grace and swiftness for movement as it seemed she had once been a dancer. I didn’t mind the dancer feet. In fact there were the first thing I would prefer on a woman.

All in all, she was a beautiful sight. One I wouldn’t mind looking at all day.

And the other thing I would have to ask her, was how she got into my brother’s ice-filled heart and managed to thaw it enough to actually be introduced to him and work near him. I knew my brother wasn’t cheating on his wife, Nicole but I knew he had a hard time being soft to anyone other than his family and friends.

I could count as ex-family, but that was beside the point.

She was definitely a magician if she had enough magic and willpower to enchant and charm my brother to be able to work.

Maybe her work ethic was her magic trick.

Maybe.

Pushing these thoughts away, I go over to my friend Dalton in the gym where I had come by god knows how, and ask general crap and what’s happening these days to try and distract myself.

“Nothing much man, it’s just all quiet like. I think the likely change is caused by some zombie apocalypse or some higher power we know no crap about.” He says in response.

Did I mention he’s one hell of a science geek? Regardless I respect him and his choices since the other guys all talk about girls and getting them in their beds or better yet just waiting to talk crap to look all macho to the girls coming in the gym.

They will be coming in tow as soon as they see their prizes walking in.

Honestly.

Continuing talking to Dalton, I walk over to the heavy chest press and start working out with it. Halfway through the routine, I realize I have tuned out Dalton and just thought about my own life and the decisions I took.

A life I once had.

I just get so tired of this supposed lifestyle I have. It’s not even a lifestyle, it’s more of a necessity if a man wants to live and survive this dog-eat-dog world.

And once you decided to live but through the wrong people, there was no escape. It was like fighting yourself in the mirror for another reflection, but instead you fought for your life, for sanity, for something normal people took for granted.

And I forever regret the choices I took in order for my life to become a shapeless heap of garbage. One day I was going to find escape and one day I was going to force my brother to forgive me or through some other way.

After getting done with my workout, I continued to talk with Dalton and waited around with him for the other guys to show up. Besides the girls had already shown up, whom I hadn’t bothered to pay attention to and neither had Dalton. Besides I knew Dalton had more interest in his scientific theories and projects than any blonde girl with the build every guy salivated after. It was just him, I guess.

But most guys prefer blondes or gorgeous women anyway. Look at my friends. In their belts, they would have more to talk about blondes than any other hair-colored woman.

They were just too shallow with their tastes but guys were guys. Some things were hard to change. And that was a given for us.

The rest of the guys then decided to grace us with their presence. Romeo, Paris all showed up with cheeky grins and eyes glinting with mischief, that was sure to leave a mark in their lives and possibly others too in the path.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Romeo asked, fist bumping my own fist.

“Nothing much, scored any other shots lately?” I asked him, snark biting on the edges.

“You know it man, besides the women here are just so hard to resist, don’t you think?” He replied, smirking.

“Well seems like life's good for you.” I respond as Romeo then went to Dalton and started chatting it up with him.

Paris then came over to me and started talking.

I then tuned out Paris and started thinking about other things. Like the fact that these guys were in a way leading better lives than me.

I mean Paris was the son of a rich hotelier. He had hotels all over the world, but one of his most prized hotels was located right here in Auckland, New Zealand. He was one lucky guy. But the good thing about Paris was that he never let me feel that I was beneath him or anyone else. He always thought of us as friends and never let wealth be a barrier between us. And he wouldn’t have a problem with girls since he had that brooding, bad, mysterious bad boy look with jet-black hair, grey eyes, hints of coal black color in them. But he was a good guy regardless.

As for Romeo, sure he could be overconfident and cocky but then again that was because of his stereotypical look, blond locks, blue eyes. But this never affected him in his work and what he did as contribution to whatever he took part in. Sure, he had women hanging of his arm almost every time but then this was Romeo. Hard to think of him as a shy boy. Romeo was also rich but not as rich as Paris but still it was an affordable living for him ever since we all finished uni this year. And because of him and his loyalty for the guys as girls usually say to one another: “sisters before misters” so kind of the same thing for us guys. So this whole thing never soured our friendship despite the many other reasons in his life to have a barrier, there never was any problem.

As for Dalton, my sciency friend. Well he has his own good qualities. For instance, he’s a good musician, talented artist, excellent with sciency things, supportive in campaigns, good with languages, sporty (to some point) and loyal to all of us. He wouldn’t have a hard time with girls either if he would just remove the ridiculously over sized glasses, but then it was his fashion choice, one which I wasn’t going to mock in front of him, I mean he wasn't bad looking as he had shoulder length brown hair, curled up so they did not look long, green eyes with hints of black, a fit and lean body, one which girls wouldn’t mind going for. But he had a hard time opening up to others besides us and his foster parents after he was abandoned by his birth mother and a lonely childhood since his foster family was not exactly in the best of conditions but they were surviving but since he managed to reach out to us and become friends with all of us.

So they were all a combination of different status and wealth but despite all that, we were all splendid friends.

And I would not like to change a thing. I really wouldn’t.

Even now after my brother refuses to accept me back, my friends are here with me and no matter what, they would stick with me.

And I was grateful for them.

I just hope that someday my brother forgives me. And until that happens, I am going to keep apologizing, keep going back to him.

I was not going to leave until things changed for both me and my brother. I was going to do everything in my power and even cross destiny if it was the last thing to ask my brother for forgiveness.

The last thing I would do, the last thing of anything to make my brother forgive me.