I did something completely out of character today. I am not sure I’m going to live it down in all honesty.

We had the annual apple festival in the town today. It is a huge event for us with loads of people visiting from all over to come join in with all the contrived old fashioned events we have going. Apple bobbing, weaving, pressing and throwing among all the drinking and eating of items often heavily cider related. I get pretty involved with it all as all the local clubs have their stalls and of course working at a plant nursery we tend to grow and sell a lot of apples ourselves.

It may seem a bit of a weird thing to have a cheery event crop up while I’ve been all doom and gloom. As my Nan always used to say though; Life is a mess, it never follows a set pattern. So even though I had a small twist in my gut of guilt, I was enjoying today. I had spent a good chunk of time helping make banners and grow a whole lot of the produce being sold. Even the bits I didn’t grow personally I normally had a hand in. It may come across a bit silly, but this is something I am proud of. I don’t have a life where I can stand out and receive congratulations for the hard work I put in, with the festival I can receive a bit of praise vicariously through the products of all my work.

It started good. The sun was shining down on us and I was busy handing out plants at the stall for our nursery. At about half twelve Charlie patted me on the shoulder.

“Go on kid go git yourself some lunch. Take your time these lazy shits can do their fair share while you’re gone.”

I decided to head to the little food court they had set up near the huge gathering of food tents. There was a huge debate going on between locals as I queued up for a bite of some apple scones.

“It’s been a bit calm lately. You know? The weather I mean.”

“I do. I do. My washing dries so slow these days.”

“Well at least my hair stays in place. I don’t miss the wind one little bit.”

“It’s like having a nuisance gone.”

“Yeah, though is a bit unsettling”

“Weird weather that’s all. Probably one of the big magic corps screwing with things.”

“Nothing to worry about though.”

“Nothing at all.”

After listening to this the little bit in my head holding back all the worry, I have been bottling up gave way. It was nothing too mean after all. It was just the tiny thing that brought all the other bits in me crashing down.

“It’s not just a weird weather thing it’s a missing person!” The words came out loud and angry.

“Someone is missing?” Tiffany arched her eyebrow up at me.

“Who’s missing Freya?”

“Why haven’t you brought this up before now?”

“I talk to the wind alright and they’re missing. They’ve been missing for a week. I wanted to say something to get you to help but…”

All their interest died then. A few people began to ask if I was okay. Had I hit the cider too hard. Had I been out in the sun too long. Working too hard. A whole avalanche of excuses and shining eyes. I wanted to hide away. To suck back up all the words I had spilled out in front of my neighbours and colleagues.

“Just ignore me… You’re going to anyway.” I snapped and stormed back to the stall. By the time I got there the fight had gone out of me. I plastered on a smile and made it through the rest of the day. Only difference was that smiling sun was a lot more oppressive than when I had started.

I swear I can still hear them whispering about me. I wish they believed me. I wish they didn’t make me doubt myself.