At dinner, my mind races. Ella isn’t so bad. Well, except for the whole reading-my-journal part.

And people… yes, I’m a guy that keeps a journal. My old school counselor said it would be a good way to help with emotional issues. Not that I had any. Well, maybe only a few…

Moving on.

Ella is very educated, just in the area of sports. In many ways, we’re complete opposites. She is very disagreeable, or maybe that’s just me disagreeing with her. I can tell she doesn’t think she’s very pretty, but if she saw the way her brown hair sweeps in front of her blue eyes, hiding part of her face…

I shake my head. What are you thinking, Ian? I know that this marriage is arranged, so I should treat it like one. It’s not like I’ll ever be in love with Ella. Let’s get real.

I mean, in some ways she’s very similar to the only person I ever loved, Susan Siberon.

I put my head in my hands, hoping it won’t draw attention to anyone. Susan was my girlfriend of exactly one year, and then she dumped me about two weeks ago because she claimed she found somebody else.

Oh, she did. I later found out she had been cheating on me the whole time anyways.

I glance at Ella. Once she is my wife, she won’t cheat on me, will she?

However, she does feel very similar to Susan. Or maybe that’s my fragile masculine ego talking.