Warning it's about to get very personal I will be talking about my menstrual cycle read at your own discretion

I don't feel right ever since Christmas Eve something just feels off not right I feel like I can't sort out my emotions and I can't find out why I feel this way everything was fine but now I just don't feel okay I had fun on Christmas Eve so I don't understand why I just don't feel right we ate dinner we talked and play card games but my sister that I am the closest to wasn't there because she didn't get off work until late that night and we were waiting for her to exchange gifts once we played every game that was possible to play I didn't know what to do and my sister still hadn't arrived so I just went to go sit on the couch what's my oldest brother why my other brother and my sister's husband play games on the Xbox I didn't know what to do I was just bored and I wanted my sister to come to the door so badly because I missed her not because of some gifts I just I want her started to feel sad i didn't know what to do I had no distractions I got lost in my thoughtsand because of that I started to feel like I wanted to escape like I wanted to hide in a corner and cry to there were no tears left like I wanted to scream till I had no voice I don't know why I felt like this I don't know why I still feel like this maybe it has something to do with the fact that I haven't had my period in 2 months because of that my hormones are all out of whack and that just makes my anxiety worse and yes I've been to the gynecologist but she wasn't much help all she did was assume that she knew me and try to make anxiety issues way worse than they actually are she told my sister that she needed to take my phone away because if I'm not on social media then I'll be lonely and I'll crave human contact she also told my sister that she needed to get me out of the house and take me for walks like what the fuck am I a dog I wouldn't be going to therapy for my anxiety if I wasn't lonely I wouldn't be going to therapy for my anxiety if I didn't want help if I didn't want to have to lock myself in a room but she doesn't know what it's like to be me but yet she assumes that she knows everything she wouldn't let me speak when I was trying to correct her she asked me about family deaths in the past and and told me that it sounded like I had trauma and that's why my period was irregular so I needed to go to trauma counseling to then she tried to tell me that I needed to lose weight yes I do I'm a thick girl but I eat healthy I exercise I'm doing everything I can and after all this she wouldn't give me examine she wouldn't do any test even when I asked her to she just sent me home with a prescription for birth control told me that that would fix everything well it doesn't help when you can't tell me why I'm like this to begin with I came to you to find the source of the prop but yet you wouldn't even look I talk to my therapist about it she thinks it's best that I find a different gynecologist and I think so to I just don't know why but ever since Christmas Eve I just don't feel right