Why don’t I trust you?

I’ve seen people lie, cheat, and steal,

Like you would never believe.

And just because I look it,

I am far from naïve.

Drugs, abuse, and alcohol,

Was all a part of the world I grew up in.

I always told myself,

That I’d never let it happen to me.

But I couldn’t see through every charming smile.

My first boyfriend disappeared when I needed him most.

It seemed like everyone forgot those months,

Like he forgot those late-night calls,

Our midnight conversations.

He reappeared a few months later,

And like a marionette on his strings,

I played right into his hands.

I left when he wanted total control,

And tried to keep me from my friends.

Nevertheless,

I’m left always wary.

A drunken man,

In a living ghost town,

In the middle of the empty gravel road.

It was a brisk Halloween night,

And I was just fourteen years old,

When he wrapped his arms around me.

I had never been so frightened,

My voice, caught in my throat.

I hate to think, what might have been,

If no one confronted him.

I thought I was smitten,

With the boy who told witty jokes,

He always made me smile.

Love became fear,

When I didn’t give him what he wanted.

I couldn’t speak the words,

To tell him where to go.

I should’ve left but I stayed too long.

His begging became abuse.

A friend called me a coward,

For leaving him,

For all he put me through.

She said I didn’t have the guts to work it through.

Even though she knew.

Then it was to the next date,

With a boy who had a second girl.

It was a couple years,

Before I dated again.

It was all going swell,

He seemed to respect my wishes.

Until he got irate,

That I wouldn’t sleep with him.

So, before you ask me why I don’t trust you,

Try giving me reason to believe.