I am a soft spoken person most of the time. So soft spoken that it all becomes a little mumble that slurs together. Mumbler probably is a more apt description. I try to be as clear as I can but i'm also pretty used to repeating myself. Though it's not just the mumbling I have to repeat myself for. A lot of people just are too busy with their phones or just don't care enough to pay attention.

This doesn't happen when i'm angry. Sure words may tumble together at times but more often than not words spill out in a mix of passion. My words are clear in their meaning, my goal is obvious to those watching and suddenly I have their full attention.

My best personal example of this was when I was taking a creative writing course. I submitted some fantasy pieces I had put some effort into. My teacher absolutely hated them. She didn't give me much of a critique though other than to say they didn't feel down to earth enough. Down to earth? They were meant to be a slice of fantasy not a walk in the bloody park. So I wrote her a piece that was a mix of a bus journey and a girl writing a fantasy story. I wrote it quickly, sloppily and angrily. I gave it to her with no edits and guess what? She absolutely loved it. She got the fantasy then. I'm not sure if she got the sarcasm as well.

The fact it takes me getting angry to be heard pisses me off more than what made me angry in the first place. Why do I have to make myself so raw, so vulnerable to become of interest? I am not a side of sushi after all. A snack to be consumed. Devoured. Ripped apart.

I remember this would often happen to my quieter friends too. They would fade away until someone touched a nerve. Then you would watch as fire and brimstone poured out of them. You'd often hear others say:

"I didn't think she ever swore."

"I didn't know they were there."

"I didn't think he cared about that."

I always begin laughing at this point. Because if they had bothered to listen to those quiet people. To ask them questions even if it took a bit of extra time to get an answer they wouldn't be surprised at all. 

I just wish they liked me when I wasn't riled up too.