I left early for the library

I love the smell of books

The peace.

No harsh looks

Sometimes I feel that if I read

I can find a new me

A place where my name

Isn’t synonymous with shame

Today I’m reading Ella Enchanted

I needed a change after Ugly

Because that was too close to me.

So deep into the words of Ella

I hardly hear the words of a young fella

I look up and admit my confusion

I wondered what delusion

Could a person be in to choose to sit next to me

I know I don’t really look like an ape,

That’s just what Delores says

But still my reputation is too wide spread

For one to get it in their heads

To be too close to mine,

What trick is it this time?

“Really, there’s no need

To sit next to me.

I’ll move if you’d like me to.”

Now it’s he that looks confused

And his eyes look as though they could be used

To see right through me.

And a brick from the wall

That separated me from the world

Fell and shattered

And though I knew what would come after

I chose not to question it,

Just to open it;

My door to this boy

That I knew not.

He broke the spell

When words fell

From his lips.

“Hello, my name is Chris.”

“I’m Crimson.”

And though I thought

I’d stay and get caught

In the flow

Of getting to know

Someone new

All I knew

Was that I was afraid

So I got up

“I’m new here.”

I looked into his eyes

To realize

That he was trying to talk

But I continued to walk

“Wait. Wow you’re fast.”

How long can he last, I mused.

“I’m sorry, but are you mute?”

Hmm, did I never utter the words

That I thought I’d said

Am I so used to talking in my head

That I forgot my mouth had to be moved?

Eh, either way, it’s a good excuse.

So I turned and nodded

“Cool, I got it.

But how do you communicate?”

I don’t, I thought.

I shrugged.

“Do you have a phone?”

Would he leave me alone?

I convey this through my look

Which of course he mistook.

“Ohh, no, not to call

But maybe to text.”

Ugh, what next?

I shake my head.

He sighs

Then eyes me

And he notices my journal

“You write?”

I raise my brow

“We can sit and write to each other.”

I had to give it to him,

He was a consistent little bugger

“Do you want to to play 21 Questions?”

Would he take my one answer?

Shrug.

“Okay, you first.”

We sit and I eye the water fountain

Because man this boy has the thirst.

Shrug.

I pull out paper

Maybe I’ll regret this later

But for now,

Let’s see how this plays out.

-What’s your full name?

“Christopher Beckert.”

Hm, same initials, same letters

“Okay, my turn. But since I seem to make you uncomfortable

I’ll just repeat your questions.

Interesting

-Crimson Blud

“That can’t be your real name.”

How often I hear that same thing

-You can’t lie in this game

“But how would I know if you were lying?”

-Good point. See the people staring at you,

-It’s because you’re with me. Ask anyone.

He left

And I felt bereft

He didn’t believe me.

But when he came back

He looked mad.

But he left it at that.

-How old are you?

“17”

-Same.

“Copycat.” In will be

He laughed and I smiled at that

He was teasing me

Playfully

This was new to me.

-Birthday?

“July 15th, 1990”

-December 25th, 1990

“Happy belated birthday.”

-Thank you, same to you.

It’s all I can say.

I can’t ever recall

A HAPPY birthday

Never a celebration

Never a cause for happiness

But I digress.

-Where are you from?

“Cincinnati.”

-Here

Again his face contorted

What had been reported

When he asked about my name

Maybe I could ask in the game

-What’s on your mind?

He paused as he tried to find

The right words

Or maybe just words that wouldn’t hurt

“I didn’t like what I heard.”

Pause

“The girl I talked to

Looked through me like glass

Said if I didn’t move fast

My reputation would be ruined.”

Sigh

I knew it

She blew it for me

I wanted this friend

“I’m not leaving.”

-I didn’t say anything.

I puff my chest with false bravado

“You didn’t have to

It shows on your face,

And I care more about a friend

Than the reputation I make.”

Ring, ring, ring

Silence

He glances at his phone

And his face gets paler

“I have to take this.”

It seemed like something

He was remiss

To admit.

I waited and tried

To make pieces of him

But I was having trouble.

A boy who had yet to grow stubble

Had grown the balls

To ignore them all

But seemed phased by a phone call.

When he returned

Nothing new was learned

He had to go, he told me.

But I wasn’t buying

What he sold me

I guess I’m not the only one

Who hides the truth.