“We’re gathered here today,” Jaesen began. “To honor the lives of Maggie and Grant, two wonderful people who were taken from us too early…”
A fat tear slid down Lottie’s cheek. Her heart beat in an erratic rhythm and her chest felt too tight to breathe. It’s not fair, she thought, staring down at the small pile of dirt and rocks at her feet. In her hand, she rubbed the rough stone. Her thumb felt raw from the constant abrasion, but she couldn’t stop. The pain kept the numbness away. It gave her something to focus on besides the two hastily dug graves in the shaded woods.
Sniffles surrounded her, and she knew she should care about the women gathered around her—they were hurting as well—but she couldn’t muster up enough energy to do so. It was all she could do to take care of Greysen and herself, let alone help the women grieve.
“Lottie?” Looking up, she blinked, finding it nearly impossible to focus on Jaesen standing right in front of her. “Lottie, do you want to say a few words?”
His expression was sympathetic and expectant. How long had he been trying to get her attention?
She shook her head and looked down at the small mound, then to the larger one a few feet away. What more could she say? They died. Nothing she could say would matter.
Glancing over her shoulder, she spotted Nyah who gave her an encouraging smile while patting the bottom of Maggie’s four-day-old son. Next to her stood Grace. Grace gazed back at her. Her gaze was full of sympathy. Her mother patted Greysen on the head and took his hand, holding it firmly. Greysen. Her heart ached for her son. Sons. He didn’t understand why Mommy hurt and he looked from her to his grandmother and back again, his little lip quivered with the need to cry. Lottie brushed a tear out from under her eye and let her gaze drift to Katie. The young woman’s hands were clasped tightly in front of her stomach as if a sheer act of will could hold in her baby. It was a false hope. Nothing Katie could do would stop the inevitable should it happen to her as well. Lottie wanted to go to her, to tell her she cared about her and her baby, but it was just too much effort.
Lottie dropped her gaze, unwilling to look at Ally or her newborn daughter. It’s so unfair! Why couldn’t she have died instead of Maggie?
“Lottie?” Jaesen prompted.
Lottie looked up at him confused. What had he asked her? Her stomach hurt.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Give her a minute,” Zoe said as she pulled Lottie into an embrace and fresh tears coursed down Lottie’s cheeks. “She’s lost a friend and a son.”
Her son was buried under an unassuming mound of dirt at her feet. He had been so small. Perfect. She’d held his tiny body in her palm. His hand had gripped her finger in those final seconds before he died. “It’s not fair,” she choked out through her tears.
“No, it isn’t,” Nyah agreed from right behind her.
The soft mewl of Maggie’s newborn infant cut into Lottie’s heart. The sharp pain of it left her gasping for breath, and she thought she might bleed out in front of everyone. She’d never forget staying with Maggie all the way to the end. She’d refused to leave the other woman as the end drew near. She held Maggie’s hand and told her it would be all right. Such a horrible, ugly lie. Maggie had died right there. Her son swaddled and resting on the ground beside her, never to feel his mother’s arms again.
When Lottie didn’t say anything, Nyah added, “No mother should be without her son and no son without his mother. We’ll take care of him, Lottie. All of us. He’ll grow up right. Loved. Like no one else can be.”
She sniffed and pulled from Zoe. Bending down, she deposited the rock she held on the small grave. “Rest in peace, Grant. Know I love you.”
Standing, her mother handed her Greysen and then pulled her into a hug sandwiching the toddler between them. “Live. He still needs you,” she said then pulled away.
Lottie nodded. Grace was right. She had to be strong. If not for everyone, then at least for her son.
“Mommy?” Greysen asked, his voice thick with unshed tears.
“Yeah, Grey.”
“‘Gree, Mommy.”
She gave him a watery smile, doubting very much that he needed to eat. Most likely he wanted reassurance. The sadness and negativity were oppressive, and he wouldn’t understand why. “Too early for lunchtime, baby,” she told him. “Wanna go play with your ball instead?” He nodded and popped a thumb in his mouth. Putting his cheek to hers, she hugged him close. “Okay, let’s go do that.” Turning, she followed the rest of the women back to the settlement.
*****If you like Acquisition and Preservation, please add it to your library!
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