Ferris stood stock still. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice still a little hoarse.
Peters bowed his head. “Don’t.” It seemed to be all he could say. Ferris withdrew as far as it was possible in the cramped conditions and looked closely at the bowed head of the man in front of him. It dawned on him that he was bracing himself as if for a blow. That quiver had not been a sign of anticipation but of fear, the boy was terrified.
“I’m sorry,” Ferris apologised quickly, “I thought you... ” He broke off. It wasn’t as if he had not been encouraged. Why had Peters given him the nod if he didn’t want to? “What’s going on here?”
Peters looked even more tense. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
“It’s all right,” Ferris sought to reassure him. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”
Peters’ tension didn’t reduce one iota. Ferris felt a bit impatient with him. What did the boy think he was going to do, rape him? Right here? Come to think of it that was probably exactly what he did think. The evidence of his own arousal was still pressing against his lower back in the close quarters.
“Well this is a bit awkward,” he said cheerfully, seeking to break the tension. He was rewarded by a sound from Peters, half a laugh, half a sob. “Don’t panic, I’m just going to turn around, so we’re not standing quite so... close,” Ferris warned him, twisting his body about so that he faced the door.
“What’s going on?” he asked again, over his shoulder. “Did you change your mind?”
There was a long pause. “I’m not an om,” Peters spoke softly. “I can’t help how I look, everyone thinks I must be an om, but I’m not.”
Ferris made a big effort to keep his voice calm. “Then why on Earth did you let me think you were interested in me? This... what just happened... wasn’t all my fault you know.”
“I know, I’m sorry.”
Ferris thought he wasn’t going to say any more, but then Peters continued in a low voice as if he was frightened of being overheard.
“I was told that was what you have to do, if you want to stay on this ship.”
“What?”
“If an officer wants you, you have to say ‘yes’,” he spoke as if it was a well known fact, not something that had just turned the world on its head.
“Who told you that?” Ferris still couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Some of the other men, those who don’t look as... as masculine as the rest of you.”
“I’m sorry, I’m having difficulty understanding. You’re telling me that men on this ship have been forced to have sex?”
Peters nodded.
“With officers? Who? Who’s been doing this?”
Silence.
Ferris felt obliged to defend himself. “As far as I am concerned personally, I’m homosexual, an om and I thought you were too. I thought you liked me, that’s the only reason I asked you to join me in here, not some sick sort of power play!”
He continued, “Believe me, this sort of intimidation is totally unacceptable. Tell me who the hell’s been doing this and I’ll take it to the Captain.” A nightmarish thought crossed his mind. “The Captain’s not part of this, is he?”
To his horror, Peters hesitated before he replied. “Not that I’ve heard. I’ll ask around. It may not be easy to get anyone else to talk about this, you know. Most men like to pretend it never happened.”
Ferris felt sick. How long had this been going on? How widespread was the abuse? And he had nearly been part of it, without even knowing. He thought he was going to throw up. If Peters had not said “no” he would have gone ahead and had sex with him. Sure, he’d thought he was consenting, but it still would have been rape. He made a vow to himself then and there, that he would never, ever again seek a relationship with anyone of a lower rank, never. How would he ever know if they were saying “yes” because they wanted to or because they thought they had to?
He shut his eyes. “Let me apologise again, Peters. I am so thankful you stood up to me. It would have been a nightmare... for both of us, if I had... had...” he faltered to a stop.
“I admire you, you know,” confessed Peters. “I thought if it had to be anyone, I’d rather it was you.”
“Thanks ... I think!” said Ferris, feeling rather as if he had been punched in the stomach.
“I’m glad you’re not part of it, sir. I thought it didn’t seem like you but I didn’t really know, not until now. You’re right. This abuse can’t continue, we have to put a stop to it. I’ll talk to the other men and then come and see you.” Peters squared his shoulders, looking more like a soldier instead of a scared boy.
“Yes,” Ferris agreed, then thought of something else. “Do you think, if we take it in turns, we could squat down and pick up our weapon belts? It might give the wrong impression if they’re both on the floor when the door opens.”
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