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The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal

2 | The Love Club

2 | The Love Club

Jan 11, 2019

"There's nothing more I want, except to be alone." - The Love Club

-

From my experience, I've come to understand that there are about three ways to treat 'the new kid'.

Option 1: Completely ignore them and move on with life (a personal favorite).

Option 2: Show them around and never talk to them ever again (another great option).

Option 3: (last and very least) Smother them with 300 billion questions and constantly smile at them every 5 seconds.

Claire (unfortunately) has decided to go with option 3.

"Favorite color. No, wait! Favorite song. No, no, no! Favorite food." She got out ten different questions in, might I note, less than five seconds. I'm constantly checking my ears to see if blood has started pouring out of them yet. Yes Cole, this school is going to be perfect. The kids here are so amazing and great to be around.

Not.

Just tell her to shut up. I thought you were the one who liked her. I take back that statement. Oh well for you; I just can't tell someone to shut up. Didn't you tell me to shut up 10 minutes ago? Shut up.

I have never been so happy to hear a school bell in my entire 17 years of life. That girl talked for 45 minutes straight and I wasn't even answering any of her questions! I just nodded at random moments and ignored her for the rest of the time. I didn't dare ask her where the rest of my classes were, knowing I would probably never get to my next class.

Cole: So how's school?

Me: Please come get me.

Cole: Adri, try.

Me: Trust me I-

Whenever I need to think, I lay on the ground and stare at the ceiling. I feel more down to Earth and the ground is such a stable surface. There's no possible way that it can ever drop you. Unless you know there's an earthquake and the world starts caving in on itself and a lot of people die and I die, and there's just death everywhere. But other than that I really like the ground.

But I really don't enjoy falling on it.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I didn't even look up at the voice as I nodded, waving him off. I am not going to acknowledge someone who asks stupid questions. You just knocked me onto this very hard ground and I had nothing to cushion my fall. So no; no, I am not okay. Besides that, I wasn't okay even before he knocked me down and to make things ten times worse when I looked around to find my books, they were nowhere to be seen.

Panic attack activating: now.

"Hey calm down, I have your things." False alarm, false alarm. Deactivate panic attack.

I do acknowledge people who save my things from the trampling feet of unruly teenagers.

He looks like he models for Abercrombie in his free time. Eh, I wonder if he has a sister. Well, I'm wondering if he has a just as cute friend who we can't see.

"Thanks," I muttered and then took my things from his hands. He just nodded and stared at my face, because that doesn't make a girl uncomfortable. First, he runs into me and now he's just staring at me. From the looks of it, the only thing that this guy has going for him is, well, his looks.

"I'm guessing you need help finding your next class." I kind of take back my previous statement. He can also read facial expressions.

I internally sighed in relief at his question. Yes, yes, yes. I don't really have the energy for a long game of 'Where's that room?' Sure it meant missing a huge chunk of class, and maybe even avoiding another class with Claire... Okay, maybe I am up for a game of "Where's that room", but I figure it is too late to change my mind since I have already nodded my head yes.

Believe it or not, I am actually very thankful for crowded hallways. No one can try and make conversation with you since they're too busy trying to get to class on time. I'm pretty sure Nate, Mr. Abercrombie's actual name, has tried to talk to me at least 3 times now, but I couldn't make out a single word that he said. Even if I could, I'm pretty sure I would've just ignored him anyway.

My 2nd, 3rd and 4th classes were so much better than my 1st. No one tried to talk to me, or learn my favorite song, or ask about my family, or smiled at me all class. Now it is lunch, and we could eat anywhere in the school we wanted. So avoiding people, a piece of cake.

"Hey, Adri! Wait up!" She must be out of her crazy little blonde mind. There is no way I am spending my one hour of peace with queen craz-, I mean Claire. I don't care how pretty that girl is; She talks way too much for me. What happens if she ends up having friends who are just like her? Oh no.

I need to get out of here.

Running down the hallway looking for my escape, I could hear her quick footsteps trying to follow mine. My eyes landed on a room, and my hands started shaking at just the thought of being in there for more than 10 seconds.

Come on Adrianna, we don't have time for this. But the room looks so small. And Claire is really crazy; it's either 30 seconds in the closet or an hour with queen crazy.

Janitor's closets are disgustingly small, but they make for great hiding places, so I'll give them that. A triumphant smile made its way onto my face when I heard Claire's footsteps fade down the hall. However, it just as soon disappeared when I turned around, but I can't say that I'm surprised. I've got a theory that the big guy up there's sole purpose is actually just to make my life miserable. I don't know what I did to Him, but whatever it was, I sure do regret it. Because I keep ending up in really bad predicaments because of it. Such as this one.

"Well, this is awkward."

lxnxsxllxvxn
Lana Sullivan

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The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal
The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal

5.2k views101 subscribers

My body began to curl itself into a ball and whimpers and sounds of pain helplessly escaped from my throat. The startled animal sounds began to project from my body as it continued to go into shut down mode.
It was like the walls started to just collapse and all of the rubble was falling on top of me and only me. I heard people screaming and shouting, but for some reason I felt I was the only who could honestly hear them. They were screaming for me to leave, to just run away. They were all so scared of this catastrophic earthquake.
Because everything that they knew was falling apart.
"Adri. Adri pay attention to me." Kris's soft whispers broke through the chaotic screaming. I whimpered reaching out for it, but someone was trying to stop her.
"Don't touch her. She won-"
Kris ignored Tabitha's warning and I was grateful because it felt so nice to have Kris's arms and scent around me. It was like her arms were putting everything back together, and the shaking was beginning to settle.
"Kris I need to-"
"Get that the fuck away from her."
"But-"
"Get out!" I screamed for Kris, clasping my arms tightly around Kris.
I heard faint footsteps walking away from me, and then the door shut. It was then that the tsunami came, and all of the tears ended up washed up on Kris's shirt. Kris didn't seem to mind though. She accepted and encouraged them. Welcomed them with that soothing sound of sweet nothings that the voices desperately needed to hear.
It was then that I realized something that I would've been extremely resilient to admit a week ago, but was now ready to scream from the top of all of the mountains with the loudest megaphone in the world.
I love her.
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2 | The Love Club

2 | The Love Club

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