I skipped school for the day. I couldn’t find the motivation to leave my bed. I couldn’t move, couldn’t eat, all I could do was sleep and even then it didn’t change much of what I felt.
I could only lay in bed and stare into my ceiling. My dad was just under the impression that I was sick but that wasn’t the case. The only ones that knew the truth were my mother and my twin sister.
Although my mother checked on me occasionally I didn’t care for her.
My sister was sympathetic but I couldn’t bring myself to face her. I wanted to be alone. I felt shameful as if I was at fault for what had occurred...
While lost in my thoughts I almost didn’t notice my mother entering my room. Unfortunately, I did notice her and she noticed I was awake. Too late to pretend to be asleep.
I reluctantly sat up and was greeted by my mother running her fingers through my hair as she sat down on the edge of my bed.
“You know you can’t make skipping school a habit right?”
I sighed and laid back down on my bed.
My mother didn’t give up though, “would you like to talk about it?”
I flipped over onto my side facing the wall in response to her question.
“Ya know Campbell called earlier? You were sleeping so I told her you were unavailable.”
I remained silent despite all of her attempts to make me talk.
“Look... I’m sorry, Baby. Please forgive me, Fletcher. I love you so much. You know Mommy would never want to hurt you...”
I didn’t feel loved at that moment.
“You didn’t tell anyone about what happened did you?”
I took a deep and long sigh before answering. “No. Now please leave my room.”
“Alright let’s keep this oops our little secret. I love you, Sweetie.” My mother kissed my forehead and left my room.
I closed my eyes and attempted to sleep but I heard my door quietly open. Judging by the sounds of their footsteps I knew it was my sister.
She carefully walked up to my bed and whispered in my ear.
“I love you, Fletcher.”
She kissed my head and walked out of my room. Once I knew she was gone I started to cry. I protected my sister and yet I felt so disgusting and dirty. My mother should have protected us and yet she wanted to keep it a secret.
I know what happened was wrong and I know I had to tell someone about it but I was held back. Held back by the fear of tearing my family apart.
Mom and dad divorcing once and for all. Mom being taken away by the police. Worst of all, my sister and I being split up. I didn’t want that and so I kept silent. Despite my pain.
Eventually, I wiped away my tears and fell asleep but it didn’t stop my troubles from following me to my dreams.
I was running through the door excited to see Campbell that afternoon. My mom offered to drive me to her house rather than getting on her school bus.
Although something felt different. I noticed by the door some muddy boots. They couldn’t possibly have been my dad’s boots. My dad always kept his shoes clean and if they were dirty he kept them outside.
I brushed it off though. People do make mistakes. It wasn’t until I had finished getting ready and I had started to hear noise from Rowan’s room.
I was about to ignore that too but then my sister had screamed.
“Get away from me! Don’t touch me!” I dropped everything I was doing and ran as fast as I could.
My sister’s door was slightly open and I peaked in before fully entering.
Rowan was changing out of her school clothes and there was a man in her room trying to pull down her skirt.
Something came over me... I was so filled with rage that I couldn’t contain it all. I slammed the door open and charged at him with all I had. All I had wasn’t good enough. He was stronger than me. But I kept fighting him for the sake of my sister.
Even though my sister and I hated each other when we were younger I couldn’t let this pervert touch her.
I had never seen something with such disgust in their eyes before. He had picked me up and thrown me on to my sister’s bed...
My sister ran out of the bedroom and scurried down the stairs in search of our parents.
My mother had started to pull up in the driveway and my sister rushed outside screaming.
My mother quickly rushed out of her car and my sister led her upstairs to the scene.
In the few minutes they were gone, my innocence had already escaped my body. I was no longer a fun loving child. That child had already died.