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Bigger Than Us

003. Define Okay

003. Define Okay

Jan 20, 2019

Jonas


Jill's apartment was small but it didn't stop her from thinking she could invite half the apartment building into it. Jillian Lance didn't care for simple obstacles like that, if she wanted something she'd find a way to make it happen, albeit at the last minute. An assortment of chip dips and fruit trays lined the wannabe entertainment center that used to hold a flat screen. Jonas sunk into the corner of the couch, scrolling through Instagram with his hearing aid turned off so he wouldn't have to hear more than the muffled sounds of music in his right ear. It was when he was checking to see if he got a text from his parents yet, probably asking if he was being safe and not drinking, that he noticed the missed message from yesterday under Sky.

Feeling bad Jonas opened it. The white bubble of text said: Hi, it's me. Jonas felt himself sinking even further in his seat. He had to have texted him during a lecture, that's the only explanation for why he got the message sent to him so early in the afternoon without a notification of any kind. He always put his phone on silent during class. Should he text back? It's a little late for that though.

A hand shook his shoulder, startling him before he realized it was Jill, her brown eyes squinting as she looked at him. God he hoped she wasn't high. Not when he was the one who'd bought chips this time. He'd better get himself some before they disappeared.

Turning on his hearing aid he braced himself for the barrage of music and shouting that came with people following the lyrics to a popular rap song. Jill shook his shoulder again, "Jonas what are you doing sitting down?"

"Avoiding you people," he grumbled, pushing her hand off his shoulder.

"Oh so it's you people now?" Jill said with an angry look on her face. Jill wasn't high but she was drunk, she was stumbling too much not to be drunk. "You... You racist cunt."

"Jill. You're white. Half the people here are white," Jonas rolled his eyes, "You're boyfriend wears his pants halfway down his ass and uses slurs but I'm racist?"

"Don- don't talk about Tim like that alright. The only reason I haven't left him yet is cause-"

"And I don't care to hear it," Jonas got up, rushing off to the bathroom before she could finish her sentence. If he'd have stayed she would have tried to get him to dance with her. Last time she did that Tim accidentally bumped into him and made him spill his soda onto the white carpet. What part of "dude I'm gay" did he not get?

Sitting on the edge of the tub he unlocked his phone to stare at the message. He was only doing this cause he was bored and had nothing better to do. Yeah that's it. But he didn't like texting people. Calling them was always better, he just liked being able to hear their voices.

"Hello?" Sky's voice was deep, nice to listen to. Jonas almost forgot to say hi back.

"Oh hey, it's me." Jonas tapped his fingers on the edge of the tub waiting for Sky's response.

"Jonas?"

"Yeah, the cute one from the Cafe, remember?" he quipped, licking his lips as they curved into a smile.

"Yeah right. Well what are you up to?"

"Right now I'm at that party I was telling you about. I may or may not be hiding in the bathroom," Jonas said, picking at a loose thread to keep himself occupied.

Sky's soft chuckle reached his ears as he said, "You're hiding in the bathroom?"

"Kinda sorta maybe... I really don't wanna be here. I mean, I thought we were just gonna have some snacks and maybe play some music but all of a sudden Tim was inviting his friends over," Jonas explained.

"Tim?"

"Jill's boyfriend."

"It sounds like you don't like him."

"Oh don't get me started. Say, what are you up to?" Jonas smiled to himself as he shifted on the tub. Outside everyone was still belting the lyrics to whatever song they were listening to now.

"Well I was trying to get back to sleep," Sky yawned, "it's like twelve."

"It's eleven thirty."

"Pretty damn close."

"Sorry bout that."

"Nah you're fine."

Smiling to himself Jonas nodded his head. "You know how we were supposed to be meeting for lunch next week right?"

"For lunch? I thought it was a date," Sky said, deep voice causing a strange flutter in Jonas' stomach that the young man couldn't quiet understand.

Feeling that flutter in his stomach again Jonas bit his bottom lip, "I never said it was a date."

"Yeah, you kinda did."

"Then I take it back."

"You can't just take it back, besides I'm the one who asked you out and I say it's a date," Sky argued. Jonas hoped the man was pleased with himself as he rolled his eyes at his phone.

"Well since we're already going on a date apparently I guess there's no need to take you to that new restaurant on fifth and west then," Jonas said smugly.

"Wait what?"

"I saw that there was this new restaurant opening up the same day as our lunch date thing so I figured if it was gonna be a date then I should treat it like one but you asked me out first so I see no need now." Trying not to laugh Jonas got up to lock the door when he heard feet stomping down the hall towards the bathroom. They could go outside if they needed to piss that bad.

"No, no, no. No need to cancel that change of plans. Is it fancy? I wanna know if I'll be able to buy you more than just a cup of tap water and a plate of breadsticks."

"But most places give you water and breadsticks for free."

"Exactly."

"Well I could always pay."

"We can't have you paying every time we go out."

"But I wanna pay and eat more than tap water and breadsticks."

"Low blow, Jo. Low blow."

Snorting Jonas shook his head. "Is that a yes or-"

"It's a yes. There's no way in hell I'd say no to dinner with you. So it's a date, cause I originally asked, you just changed our plans without fully consulting me." Pausing for a moment Sky yawned, the loud sound of a car horn causing Jonas to frown but he didn't get the chance say anything else as Sky started to speak again. "How about we change the time to eight?"

"Seems fitting for the setting. Yeah alright. You me, East Garden at eight." Fidgeting with his shoes Jonas slipped his left foot out of his converse, dropping it off his foot completely when a knock at the door startled him.

"Ay, somebody in here?" called a male voice, the door creaking as whoever it was leaned against it.

Holding the phone against his ear with a shoulder Jonas picked up his shoe. "Yeah."

"'Yeah' what?" Sky asked, sounding confused.

"Well hurry up!" called the guy outside the bathroom door.

"I'm currently bleeding out of my vagina, come back later when you have less of an attitude and some ibuprofen," Jonas quipped, slipping his shoe back on as the guy outside mumbled to himself before the sound of his footsteps filled the empty hall.

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear any of that," Sky piped in.

"I'm still hiding out in the bathroom and I don't plan on going back out there. I shoulda grabbed a drink before I came in here man, maybe I could ask somebody to bring me one. Hey, Schuyler?"

"Yes?"

"Can I, like, ask you something or just like, talk to you or whatever?" Jonas asked, swiping at an itch on his nose, eyes trained on a dried up bar of soap lying on the floor behind the toilet.

"Sure."

"Okay like, I'm just gonna say it. I really don't wanna be here."

"I can see that."

"You're not here, so you can't see." Jonas snorted just as the sounds of traffic filled his ears again. That was odd, Sky sounded pretty sleepy but for whatever reason it sounded like he was standing outside somewhere. "Matter of fact... Where are you right now?"

He was worried. That's what that feeling in his stomach was. Now that he was paying attention he could clearly hear the sounds of oncoming traffic and wind.

"Huh? Oh, I'm outside," the man said as if it should have been obvious.

Frowning Jonas planted his feet flat on the floor. "What are you doing outside so late? I thought you were at home sleeping."

"What are you my dad? I just got really anxious and sometimes I like to go outside and take walks to calm myself down."

"It's dark out in the city and you're taking a walk? Are you crazy?"

"I'm not gonna get like, kidnapped or something, jeez. I just needed some time to breath, blow off a little steam."

"Well uh, you didn't try music or opening a window, maybe counting. I don't really know what I'm talking about I just don't like that you're outside alone at night. I keep hearing all these cars zooming by and you sound really exhausted and... Schuyler, are you okay?"

Jonas sat frowning at a roll of toilet paper sitting on the bathroom sink as he waited for a reply. What the heck kind of question was that? What did okay even mean? Jonas was still concerned though a little frustrated at himself, then he heard Sky sniffle and his heart dropped the same moment the other man broke out into sobs.

"No. I'm- I'm not okay."

Issa_Me_Shiyaaaaa
Shiyaaaaa

Creator

The baby is not okay.

Comments (4)

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UTAZMIOH
UTAZMIOH

Top comment

At first it was like, sleep plus cars plus poor = holy crap he's homeless! But then it was like anxiety, tears , and yeah.... I don't think he's homeless.

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Jonas ran into Schuyler at the bus stop, like, he literally ran into the man.

After cracking his new phone's screen and accidentally giving the man a bloody nose Jonas asks to take him out to lunch as an apology and later exchange numbers. It's while at a party that Jonas calls the man again and in the confines of a bathroom with nothing but thin apartment walls and a city between them the two make confessions about themselves as strangers and quickly become fast friends.

It's only when Jonas starts to question his own feelings that he decides maybe there's more to this Schuyler guy than his clumsiness and his tendency to apologize way too much.
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19 episodes

003. Define Okay

003. Define Okay

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