I feel something weighing me down and I wonder if it’s another monster come to visit me, trying to devour me in my sleep and I try to wake myself up, fight to open my eyes even though the fear is eating me from the inside out.

Finally I’m free.

Or not...

It’s dark.

Not dark as in I can see the outline of things, as the moon shines through the cracks of the closed blinds.

No.

Dark as if I were submerged into the deepest ocean, as if the absence of light is absolute, so dark I can’t see, can’t feel anything but dread and cold.

I wonder if I reached out to the emptiness, would it reach back to me? My mind still feels sluggish but the fear still drums in my heart, and I hope the monster isn’t there - but…

But being all alone in this complete void is so much more horrifying.

Until I hear the creaking of a door opening.

Until I hear heavy steps on wood.

Until I hear growling in my ear.

Until I feel...

I wake up.

Thank God it was a dream, I’m ok.

I’m ok.

I’m…

Alone.

Still, I feel like something is in the room with me, watching me.

Waiting.

No, just the effects of the nightmare still seeping into my brain.

Nothing is there.

I just need to get up and turn on the lights, it’ll be fine.

I just need to wake up completely.

I try to find the ground, but no matter how much I stretch my legs I can’t reach it and somehow I’m scared to fall into the emptiness again, so...I just stay in bed for a bit longer, that’s fine.

I try to breathe in deeply, so the anxiety eases, but I can’t do it, my mind is racing and it makes no sense but I feel like death is right in front of me.

I’m ok though.

I’m ok.

Until I hear the creaking of a door opening.

Until I hear heavy steps on wood.

Until I hear growling in my ear.

Until I feel hot breath on my skin.

Until I feel like...

I wake up, completely terrified but so glad to finally be awake.

Finally.

The fear is still like poison in my blood, and my heart is beating so hard I’m afraid it’ll explode out of my chest.

I want to cry so bad, just to find relief but I can’t bring myself to do it.

All I’m asking for, begging on my knees, is that I’m no longer in a dream.

Alone in an infinite emptiness.

Not quite alone, as something approaches and-

Doesn’t matter, I’m awake now.

Looping nightmares are the worst ones, feeling trapped inside your mind is the most horrifying experience, especially when it seems your mind is actively trying to kill you.

I need to turn on the light.

I can reach the floor just fine now.

Great!

I flip the switch, but the lights don’t work, if anything the room grows darker still.

Great…

Back to bed, after all monsters can’t hurt you if you’re under your covers right?

I’m safe.

Until I hear the creaking of a door opening.

Until I hear heavy steps on wood.

Until I hear growling in my ear.

Until I feel hot breath on my skin.

Until I feel like I’m being ripped apart.

I wake up.

This time I run to the blinds and open them up in a hurry.

I have to be awake, I have to be awake, I have to be awake.

Please let me be awake.

It’s morning and the warm sun sweeps into the room, as if clearing the nightmares away.

The fear still lingers, even if it’s just in the back of my head, since the feeling is still so fresh.

I look at my bed, and at its feet there is a monster.

With white big fangs shown in a sinister smile, empty eyes and whispering in a deep, soothing voice.

It sounds like it’s saying sleep, over and over again.

I’m tired.

I can’t even bring myself to be angry, and definitely not scared.

The nightmare was one thing, I was trapped, but now I am free and so used to these things trying to eat me or just overall annoy me, that I just roll my eyes.

I tell it to leave me be, or I’ll roast him like a pig.

It looks at me confused, and before disappearing something akin to laughter leaves its creepy mouth.

Throughout the day though, my brain keeps wondering, am I really awake?