Time passed right under their noses and soon the setting sun painted the entire palace in its golden splendor, bringing out more of its beauty. They had settled down at the back entrance of the harem, sitting down under a gazebo that was surrounded by a body of water, spotted with water lilies. “I know it can be a bit….vexing but just be as stubborn with Aniki as he is” her Onii sama* said (yes, he had profusely insisted that she called him that with a triumph look of finally-I'm-the older-sibling written all over his face). “Okaa sama said the same thing...er more or less. “ she said, watching the milky way spill into the inking sky. “My brother is talented in many areas but basic social etiquette isn't one of them” Prince Imai said with a soft sigh. “Do you have any advice for me on how to...approach him?” she asked with no ideas of her own. “Just dont be aggressive or try to force something on to him. That is the best advice I can give you.” he said thoughtfully. Her eyes drifted towards the glistening surface of the water, a myriad of possible methods flowing through her. Something non-aggressive, almost passive but still present and solid. Something she can use to communicate with her fiance but wouldnt cause her a mini myocardial infarction. And almost as if a shooting star had struck her from behind, an idea popped into her head. Of course! How could she have not thought of it before? She could send him little notes! It was a great way to introduce herself without being too forceful and it was something she did all the time. It was perfect! Starting to bounce in her spot, she forced herself to stay calm and excused herself. Thanking her new older brother for the wonderful company and promising to meet again, she (gracefully) speed walked into her library and pulled out her stationary collection. She loved decorating so she was sure to make every note special and perfect. Even if it wasn't much, she hoped that with this, she could connect with the Crown Prince and show him her sincerity.

                                                               ****

Her hands trembled as she walked, a small plate in one and her precious note in the other. She was determined to learn how to cook for herself and after much patronizing, she finally got her Chief to teach her. So she decided that with each note, she would also give her fiance a small sample of what she had learned to make for the day. Did it sound like a peace offering? Yes. Was it? Quite possibly. Ashley swallowed the lump in her throat as she placed her foot down as soft as she could. Here she was, a princess sneaking around her own palace. But when a person doesn't want to make noise, it was probably a good idea to take off their jingling jewelry, especially anklets with BELLS on them! Ashley signed, knocking herself on the head as each step continued to produce an array of jingles. And in the completely silent hallways, they sounded as loud as bullets being shot. Perfect. If the Crown Prince didn't know of her arrival before, there was no way he didn't know now! The attendants she passed by all bowed to her, unhinged looks of surprise on their faces to see her where she has never gone. She mentally winced at each widen set of eyes as she walked as fast and as gracefully as she could. ‘Might as well get this over with and then go hide- ahem, I mean, retire into my chambers for the evening.’ she thought. As she delved deeper into the wing, the usual bright scarlets and golds from the rest of the palace darkened into garnets and obsidians. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she reluctantly admired the beautiful spiraling golds on the walls, glimmering against the glowing lanterns. Finally she approached a large archway, a pair of attendants looking at her in. shock “Y-your Highness! Are you here to meet with His Majesty?” an attendant said, fumbling with his sleeves and bowing “Ah, no Im not. You don't need to announce me. I’m...just going to drop something off.” she said, lifting her hands up to show them the plate and note. “ The attendants glanced at each other before bowing again and saying “As you wish Your Highness”. Stepping through the archway she was greeted by a dragon carved into a set of large sleek wooden doors, its eyes daring her to come near and suffer its wrath. Snapping her eyes away from the wooden dragons gaze, she set the plate of freshly made tempura* down. Then she unfolded her small note, re-reading what she has already memorized by now. She traced the black ink with her finger, ‘Dear Prince Hiro’ it began. It was the first time she had ever addressed the prince by his name. The note wasn't long or elaborate, just a simple introduction but still she had spent hours setting it up to perfection. Taking a deep breath, she folded the cloud printed letter paper once more and bent down, quickly slipping it under the double doors. Barely acknowledging the attendants farewell, she escaped as soon as she could. Her heart was pitter pattering faster than her feet. It was worse than the time she had sent a valentines card to her crush in elementary school - oh how the times have changed.

But she DID it.

SHE made the first move.

She fumbled through her self doubts and did it!

She knew by doing so, she had made herself vulnerable but at least she can say she did it. She just hoped Prince Hiro wouldn't let her intentions go to waste.

                                                             ****

Every evening, always at around 7, she would walk to the feet of the wooden dragon and set down her small plate and note. And every evening at 8, Miyu san would bring back her small plate, the food untouched. Then Ashley would nimble on the now cold food, wondering if her notes were left in the same state. She didn't blame the Prince Hiro for not eating her food. She was a beginner and a stranger to him, why would he put anything she makes into his mouth? But she really hoped that the notes she spent such effort on would not go to waste. She hoped her feelings of wanting to form a not necessarily romantic, but at a least comfortable relationship with him would not go to waste. The notes held her thoughts, her wishes, her musings. She made them personal to convey her truest sincerity. She decided that she would be brave and open up first. Days blended into weeks and months. Ashley was fortunately a patient girl but she still hoped that he would eventually send her some sort of signal that he understood. Understood that he didn't need to hide away in his chamber no longer and maybe, just maybe, he could take some time to get to know her outside those notes. To introduce himself, to unravel himself to her just as she was doing. But the longer time past, the more vulnerable and exposed she felt. She was filling in the blanks for him but he was still a blank in her mind. And the more she sat through lessons on the Japanese language and culture, the more unfair she felt the whole thing was. She was learning things from his identity so that she could relate to him. But was he even bothering to do the same for her? Would he even know what languages she spoke or learn about the holidays she celebrated? One month led to three then five and she couldn't help but wonder why she was giving so much but receiving absolutely nothing. Ashley was afraid that if she gave away too many pieces of herself then she would have nothing left. Prince Hiro would have been given it all and he wouldn't even want it to begin with.

So she stopped.

She stopped trying.

She turned her thoughts and concerns for him away and just moved on.

Ashley was known for being kind and patient, especially to those she cared for. She invested her time and effort into people who did the same for her. She valued her relationships with the few special people in her life more than anything. But for people who didn't put in the effort to start a bond, she cut off. She would still smile and help them if needed but she would never give them a piece of herself. She didn't like to spend her feelings on people that were not interested in making a deep and life-long connection with her. Why bother braving through her social anxiety for them? That's how she was, how she always has been, and always will be.

So after half an year of trying to deliver her feelings every evening to the doors of Crown Prince Hiro, she stopped and moved on.

And she wasn't planning on looking back. 

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*Onii sama: Another respectful term for older brother in Japanese

*Tempura: A Japanese cuisine consisting of battered and fried seafood or vegetable

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