Bam wakes up in a cold sweat to the sounds of their past echoing in their ears. They groan and try to drown out the noise with a pillow but the noise is coming from inside their head. It's haunting them.
"Bambles." A voice calls through the fog of their brain, "Bam come here."
They must have slept with their door open and woken up Khol. Khol calls their name again and Bam gets out of bed and moves into the living room where Khol has spent the last couple of months using the couch has his bed.
Khol has an arm over his eyes and the other one hes waving towards Bam trying to get them to come to him. Bam sits on the floor in front of the sofa and Khol runs his fingers through their messy hair.
"You okay?" He asks softly being unable to move to get a good look at their face.
Bam nods, "Yes."
"Don't lie to me Bam, what were you dreaming about." So Bam tells them about their nightmares. The dogs barking in the distance, men crowded around to watch them. It was sickening to Bam to even regurgitate it back to Khol, but they knew Khol only had the best intentions.
Still it makes Bam feel sick. Hot and sticky in the midnight summer air. Khol has his eyes fully open and uncovered now and watches as Bam stands and makes their way to the bathroom.
A gut wrenching cough can be heard from the bathroom and Khol only wishes he could stand quick enough to hold back Bams hair. Instead Khol can only sit and struggle has he hears Bam empty their stomach.
He sighs when the bathroom door gets shut. A second later he hears the shower running knowing Bam will be in there until the hot water is gone. Khol wills his legs to work as he stands and walks along the wall towards the bathroom.
Bam can hear Khol making his way to the bathroom if the curses and the kicked items by the wall are anything to go by. Bam is sitting on the floor of the shower letting the steaming hot water race over them. They can't stand the idea of Khol trying to comfort them at the expense of his health.
The door creaks open and Khol moves in and plops himself onto the toilet. "Do I need to call Lydia?" Bam shakes their head, knowing Khol is watching them from behind the gap in the curtain. "Joan?"
"No." Bam mumbles. They just want to sit and be burned under the water. The pain brings them back down to earth.
Khol pulls Bam's phone off the counter and puts on some music for them to listen to.
When the water runs cold and Bam is finally done in the shower Khol closes his eyes while Bam gets dressed back in their dirty pj's. Khol wants to squeeze them, hold them until all the bad feelings go away.
He knows that wouldn't work though. Bam needs real help not Khols misguided attempts at it.
When morning finally reaches Bam comes out of their room to clean their small apartment for Khols parents and sister arrival. Every saturday Khol's moms come over to spend time with the pair. Bam sometimes feels like Khol's moms are his parents too, at least they wish they were.
Bam starts picking up the mess on the floor from last night and looks over the side of the sofa to see Khol laying uncovered with a morning wood. Bam snorts and covers him with a blanket.
Khol wakes up an hour later to the smell of breakfast being cooked in the kitchen. He groans and rolls over, blanket covering his crotch area not going unnoticed. He stumbles into the kitchen and barely manages to get into the chair before falling.
Bam turns their head to make sure Khol landed safely in the chair. "I uh, saw the prescription for a wheelchair." Bam says softly trying to sound nonchalant about the entire thing in the hopes that Khol will hear them out.
Khol grunts, "Yup."
Bam swallows and stirs the scrambled eggs some more. "Have you thought about it? You know Lydia's insurance covers it."
Khol hums, having come into the kitchen for a warm meal not to be talked into giving away a huge part of what he considered his freedom. "Not interested frankly."
Sighing, Bam steers the conversation away from all talks about Khols disability. "It's supposed to be cool today." They mumble, "Cooler than it has been in a while. Joan asked me if we'd want to take a drive and meet them at the Country Store."
"Sounds like a plan."
Bam perked up at Khol's willingness to go out of the house. "Great! I'll text her to meet us there then."
At Bam's small burst of happiness Khol feels a warmth fill his stomach. He likes making Bam happy, he likes being able to do things for his best friend that make him feel joy.
-
Bam drives the long way down to the Country Store with Khol setting the scene with some punk music. Bam was surprised to see Khol get dressed in some of his best looking clothes and even attempt to style his hair.
They wondered if Khol was seeing this has a date or if Khol just wanted to get dressed up nice for his family. Though there wasn't too much 'nice' about a pair of skinny light wash jeans, a black band tee-shirt and a spike vest. Still Bam could tell Khol had put effort into his appearance today and it made Bam feel happy.
They pull into the parking lot and Khol grabs Bams arm, "Don't let me fall okay?"
Bam opens their mouth to try to protest or suggest something but Khol shuts them up by squeezing their arm lightly.
"Please?" He mumbles, "I don't want my moms to worry."
Bam nods silently and a small smile plays on their lips. Khol never wants to worry his moms about anything, let alone his health. They both get out of the car and Bam walks over to where Khol is leaning against it looking for something in his pockets.
"It's so beautiful here you know?" Khol says looking towards the green moutans in the distance. He angles his phone and snaps a few pictures before tucking it safely away in his pocket again.
"You need a real camera." A voice says from behind them.
Bam and Khol both turn to see Khol's moms and sister walking towards them. His moms are holding hands and look so adorable together that it makes Bam feel mushy inside at the thought of one day having that with someone.
They look at Khol, who is distracted by his moms, and feel a pang race through their heart. They could never love anyone like they do Khol. Though their love for him will always be a secret.
Lydia comes over and hugs Bam first while Joan hugs Khol. "Oh my babies, it's so good to see you." Joan says holding Khol away from her and giving him a once over.
Bam smiles and hugs their surrogate mom closer. Lydia rubs the back of their head and kisses their cheek gently. Resasuringly. "How have you two been?" Lydia asks hugging Khol gently.
"Fine." Bam and Khol say at the same time.
Venus, Khol's younger sister pops in from between their moms and loops her arms around them. "L.I.A.R.S" She says sticking out her tongue, "I can tell just by how Bam looks."
Bam goes on the defensive, "I don't look anyway!"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh." Venus says smiling, "I'm just teasing anyway."
Bam rubs the back of their neck already feeling a tension headache coming on from the over active girl.
They go inside, Khol making his way slowly around the small store slowly and painfully. He doesn't want to concern anyone but standing up for this long while his mothers and sister tries all the free samples and buys candy is killing him.
He and Bam are looking at toys when his legs start to wobble. He reaches out to grab Bams hand but is too late and falls, cracking his head open on the counter.
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