A chance meeting of crushes, a hookah lounge, thoughts of fanciful romance, and the silent hill movie are all aspects of a date that is about to change my life forever. Why let a little erectile dysfunction get in the way of a good story right? 

If you are a family member of mine...I highly suggest you skip the next three episodes. See you at the next reunion. *Waves goodbye* Did you stay? Weeeeeell...the rest is on you. And if you give me any odd looks, I'm just gonna wink and say, "you did this to yourself."

Just meeting and dating women were not my only problem after a traumatic breakup. So...thanks for that little demon on my back too! Yay! *Confetti goes everywhere*  

Sure I had sex, but month after month I was faced with a looming specter that consistently haunted my love life. Finishing the deal...signing the closing contracts...shaking hands with the buyer...I'm all out of metaphors. You know that little...oomph at the end of the escapades. 

It would take me a staggering year, five months, and eighteen days (If you are wondering, yes I counted...it sucked.) to be able to finally solve this menacing problematic situation of my love life, for good. 

It also impacted my ability to perform in every other aspect of my sex life, including my virility in bed. I was not a good partner for the women I saw and relationship after the relationship fell apart under the weight of my inability to perform. And this for obvious reasons was hard for me to deal with mentally (no pun intended). It spun me into a deep depression, which affected me even more. And of course, it doesn't help things when you are trying to get your head in a mindset where you can be a proud warrior and all you are thinking about is whether or not your weapon is going to be ready for battle. 

But why? Well if you recall I was with an ex of mine and one of the hardest things for me to deal with was the sexual pressure and harassment that she pressed on me while we were together. You see, abuse and trauma follow you. It doesn't just go away the moment it is over, no, it becomes a regular part of your life, dealing with the aftermath of what has been done to you. Whenever I'd go into the bedroom, I'd have this looming pressure to perform and be "The man" because that is what she told me I had to do, every time I opened that door. She would say to me sober that I would have to have sex with her when I came home, regardless of if she had been drinking or not. If she were drinking, I'd have to deal with denying her sex with her yelling at me. Then, the next day I would hear about how I did not do my duties in the bedroom as a man in the relationship. It was messed up. Sexual dysfunction can happen to guys too for many reasons. It's okay. 

I am well aware that this is a touchy subject among men. Some guys never face it, and it is a point of pride. Others face it or other aspects of this problem consistently, but talking about it and communicating about it is incredibly difficult due to the implied societal stigma.  Thankfully, I have overcome this problem with sheer...well it wasn't will...sheer...it wasn't skill....question mark? 

If you may not have noticed (or probably did) at this point...I over analyze, over research, and over think goddamn everything. And for all things holy, don't think this was any different from my friends. I watched walkthrough videos on youtube (They exist, I shit you negatively), read inspirational novels, looked up science, even bought devices to help me in bed. Nothing worked. I was also to the point of trying out chemical solutions, such as Viagra and other such things, but from everything I read, it should not be something I was encountering yet in my life. 

Fortunately, the answer to my question was none of the above and nowhere to be found in the copious amounts of research I did throughout dozens of hours. Instead, I found it in the unlikeliest of places. 

Fortune turned in my favor though, and I managed to change the course of Herrick history in...well the same way I always did things. I fell flat on my face and came out on top! (This time pun intended) 

Who was this mystery woman? How did our chance meeting on Tinder result in a life-changing event that would improve my love life permanently? Join me Wednesday for the true start of this epic saga to see the drama of From Stoner With Love unfold grandly.

Your Lesson of the Day: 

Erectile dysfunction is a true problem for guys. It sucks. There isn't an easy way to sit down and have a conversation with anyone, even a therapist about this problem. Often it is you alone against the world, and quite frankly also if you have a supportive partner, their knowledge of your questions will likely only heighten the pressure because they are aware of it. 

As a person who has faced this problem and overcomes it, your first goal is to find a way to throw yourself at this problem, till you can prove to yourself that you can do it. As ridiculous as this sounds, this works. The moment you slay the beast even once it will likely go away. At this point, you can ride this victory to your next conquest and do it again and again and again. 

During it though, that's the rough part. First, you must admit this is a problem. Focus on it. Acknowledge it not as your problem but as a mortal enemy. Don't look at it from a perspective of "Come on bro, do it for me this one time," because that's needy. No, you are a warrior. Dig deep into barbarian rage, fury, and anger at the problem, so that you can destroy, annihilate, and kill this demon. 

I realize this sounds ridiculous as all get out, but hear me out, there is an actual reason for this. Anger raises testosterone; testosterone is pretty much the key ingredient in all the stuff that makes you the master of your destiny. You can even do a bit of pre-game prep. Throw down a protein shake, do a bunch of pushups, get a good sweat on, and then put on the thing that makes you proudest. I don't give a flying gobsnot if it is a kilt with a goddamn broadsword across your back, do it. When you arrive, you are Thor, the god of thunder and you will slay this ugly beast with your great hammer, Mjolnir. 

As a partner, your goal isn't going to be to baby this person or watch in bemusement as they do this prep. Don't you even dare begin to pity them either? Your job is to pump them the fuck up. Remind them that they are a raging badass and that you believe in them. You are a coach at the bottom of the 9th; it's time to take this problem head-on. You are the front line ready to run down the enemy, and he is the quarterback about to throw you the game-winning ball — the Valkyrie goddess about to go to war with them. 

I even have a suggestion for a way to help yourself... get an X thing. I realize this may sound like a copout, but just so you are aware even if you don't need it...it'll feel great. Trust me. And, it will help! Get you into the swing of things, and even if it takes time, this thing is a goddamn magic bullet you need. A cock ring. It sounds bizarre, but what it does for you is stem the blood flow and force it to stay happy...so to speak. 

I hope this helps. There isn't a magic one-shot way to fix this, but I can promise you an increase in "productivity" after a few successful sessions. 

- End of Episode -

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