Shelves upon shelves of dusty books, reaching up meters into the air. A desk covered in worn yellow paper. A broken ladder sat at the back of the library, waiting to be fixed.

Who was the last person to use this library? Surely the current inmates weren't the first people to have used the house in a long time. Wasn't there another Way Out like... half a week ago?

And yet, the library was packed to the rafters with books unread for years and years and years. Dust sat on every surface. Spider webs hung in every corner. Was the house even this old? Everything else seemed so modern.

Lily picked up a book from a pile on her left and examined the cover. A title was printed in gold on the old-style leather that bound the book.

ANTHROPOMORPHIC EROTICA: VOLUME FOUR (SEVENTH EDITION)

She flipped the book open to a random page, curious as to what the book was about. She didn't know what 'Anthropomorphic' meant, so she may as well find out.

The page was taken up by a full colour artwork, maybe an image of a painting, depicting a humanoid cat and many baskets of fruit. The cat was pouring a basket of fruit over its naked body.

"Katherine – 24 inches x 32 inches"

Lily dropped the book in disgust. The book fell to the floor, not closing but flipping to another page. Lily looked away, she didn't want to see any more, but the book was calling to her. Softly, it called her name, whispering, beckoning to keep reading.

Lily...

Lily...

Read...

Lily kicked the book away and picked another one from a nearby shelf. Maybe this one would be-

ANTHROPOMORPHIC EROTICA: VOLUME ONE HUNDRED – SEVENTY-SECOND EDITION

This book, too, Lily dropped promptly on the floor and kicked away. Was every book in this library part of the same series? Lily ran to the far shelf and checked the titles to confirm her suspicions.

Every single book in the entire library was from the Anthropomorphic Erotica series.

Lily turned to leave the library, but she couldn't. The books started whispering again, turning to a chatter, to shouting, screaming at her.

READ THE BOOKS.

USE THE BOOKS.

DEVOUR THE ANTHROPOMORPHIC EROTICA.

Lily finally broke free of the book's magical grasp and bolted. The door. She had to get to the door. She threw the door open, stumbled out, and slammed the door behind her, panting.

Everyone sitting in the common room looked at her.

"Does anyone have a - a match? Fuel? A lighter?" She should destroy it all. That shouldn't exist.

The inmates looked at each other and shook their heads.

"Okay." Lily pressed her back against the door and slid down to the floor. "Alright, do not, under any circumstance, enter the library!"

Sad and Dead Beanchester had escaped a prison sentence many, many times. They had been charged with murder, breaking and entering, grave desecration, identity fraud.

But they had never had to serve a prison sentence.

They had escaped each and every arrest, sometimes legally, sometimes not. Mostly not. It was only legal like, one time.

But now that they hadn't been able to escape, they chose the fastest way: thirteen days in the Easy Way Out.

See, Sad and Dead were hunters. Demon hunters. They travelled around, killing the evil of the world. Demons, vampires, werewolves, they had seen it all.

But the town of Chasm Falls was a whole new level, full of things they had never come across before.

Dead walked up to the girl who had just run out of the library. He could handle this, provided it was at least vaguely supernatural and not related to relationships.

"Okay, calm down. Can you tell me what happened?" He sat down next to the girl and put a hand on her back.

She immediately made a disgusted face and hit away his hand, but still seemed to accept his support. "The furry porn..." She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. "The furry porn was talking to me."

"Okay." Dead rubbed his face, then muttered, "Why do the weird things always happen around us?" He turned to his brother, who, despite being the younger, was about half a foot taller. "Sad, go make this poor girl a coffee."

"Why don't you make the coffee?"

"Because I'm the one comforting the girl, okay?" Dead answered through gritted teeth.

Sad flipped the bird at Dead, but walked over to the kitchen anyway. Dead stood up and flopped down in his seat, which was in the perfect position for questioning the girl.

"So-"

"I do not want to talk about it." She sighed. "If you want to know what it's like to have hundreds of furry porn books talk directly to you, go into the library yourself."

"Well, maybe I-"

"Guys!" Sad called from the kitchen. "There's a coffee machine here!" Something clicked in the kitchen. Damn, that guy learned fast. He'd already worked out how to use an unfamiliar coffee machine.

An explosion rocked the room, heat and smoke pushed its way out from the kitchen.

Crap.

"Sad?" Dead shouted. "Sad!" He scrambled to the feet and ran into the kitchen. The burnt body of Sad was lying on the floor, a mug in hand.

"Sad!" The guy shouted for what seemed like the hundredth time, clutching the other man's lifeless body.

Spencer, who, up until now had been minding his own business, stepped out and petted his head. It was about time he tried to make some friends in here.

"It's okay, man. Everyone's gotta die sometime. He just died from an exploding coffee machine instead of something normal like bowel cancer or eldritch abominations."

Spencer began to stroke the guy's hair. It was...soft. So very soft. This was going to help him and comfort him. Soft, soft hair.

At this point he was doing it more out of fascination than an attempt to comfort the grieving man in front of him. Which was kind of a dick move, but whatever. His hair was too soft for Spencer to care about that.

"No! Not Sad! He was...he..." The guy started sniffling, then took a big sniff of the air. He looked kind of like a rabbit, which made Spencer giggle a bit. "Why can I smell weed?"

Spencer continued to giggle, a bit louder now.

"Are you high?"

Spencer broke into full-blown laughter. "Yes."

"Eugh." The guy pushed Spencer away and went back to snivelling about his dead brother.

"I'm just sayin', man. It's okay to take a while to accept it." Spencer stepped forward and hugged the guy, then stepped away. He seemed to like his personal space.

"No... No, I don't have to accept it." He stood up straight, looking to the sky, arms fixed by his side confidently, and wiped a tear from his eye. "I don't have to accept it." He walked to the cupboard and started rifling through everything.

By this time, everyone except for the library girl and Spencer had left to play Scrabble in the lounge room.

Lily felt like Sad's death was her fault. After all, he had gone into the kitchen to make her a coffee.

Spencer was just too stoned to do anything other than laugh at Dead and his antics. Maybe that's what the library girl was doing.

He was pulling various herbs and spices from the cupboard and shaking them into a bowl. He looked like some idiot trying to use alchemy to make marijuana.

...wait, was he trying to make marijuana? If he really wanted some, he didn't need to alchemize it. He just needed to ask Spencer. He had enough to last the entire thirteen days, if he didn't share.

Lily approached Dead slowly. "Hey," she said quietly. "Is there anything I c-"

She stopped her cautious movements and stared at Dead. He broke open a red pen and spread the ink around in the shape of a pentagram.

"...what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He lit five candles and placed one at each point of the pentagram.

"Well-" Lily scratched her head. God, she hoped this wouldn't end badly. "No offence, but it looks like you're trying to summon Satan."

Dead stopped what he was doing to give Lily a sarcastic look. "No, I'm baking cookies- of course I'm summoning Satan!" He ground some salt around the outside of the pentagram. "Now shut up so I can do it right."

He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and began to read from it, stumbling over a word every few seconds. It sounded like Latin, and considering Dead was trying to summon Satan, it probably was. He said the last words, terribly pronounced but triumphantly spoken, and threw down the paper.

A small fire started from the middle of the pentagram, and began to burn the paper that Dead had read from. The fire grew, blazing bigger and bigger and brighter and taller until it was almost reaching the roof.

Oh God. It had worked.

Lily shielded her eyes as the fire grew, but as it hit the roof, the light died down and a humanoid figure began to form inside the fire.

The intercom crackled on.

"Dammit, George! I've already looked in the rule book and it doesn't say what to do when an inmate literally summons Satan!"

The flip of a page came from the speaker, and then another flip, and then the sound of a textbook hitting the floor with a satisfying thump. There was an indecipherable shout, and then a dejected sigh. "Fine, it'll do. Apparently, the rules say that any being that enters the House during the duration of the Games becomes an inmate too."

Everyone playing Scrabble in the loungeroom looked into the kitchen.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," the DM muttered. "Everybody welcome your new inmate, Satan!"

Satan sat at the kitchen table, staring at his food. How did he wind up here? This place was surrounded by eldritch abominations, which were pretty much the only things that could kill him. One moment, he had been ruling his demonic fiery kingdom, and then before he knew it he had been summoned here.

And now he was stuck.

He glared at Dead. "This is a new low, even for you."

"So, uh..." Dead ignored his statement and laughed nervously instead. "You're not going to revive my brother, are you?"

"I am trapped in a house with ten imbeciles, surrounded by eldritch abominations that will kill me the nanosecond I step out of line."

"I'll, uh, take that as a no."

The table of eleven sat in silence, Satan and Dead glaring daggers at each other, and everybody else too terrified to interfere.

Ashlee looked over at Linda, who had finished her dinner and was looking like she'd fall asleep if the table stayed like that. They'd all been sitting there for about an hour. Linda noticed, and subtly waved to get everyone's attention. Nobody said anything, but they nodded. She pointed to herself and shrugged.

This was going to go to fudge if Linda took control, so she had better do it. Ashlee put her hand up and pointed to her chest.

Linda pointed to Ashlee and did a nervous thumbs up.

Lily pushed her chair backwards.

"So, Satan..." Ashlee asked slowly. Satan looked over, smirking. Ashlee fought the urge to run, because right now, it looked like he wanted to kill her.

Then Satan smiled, like, nice-smiled, and leant forward.

"'Sup, cutie?"

"Um. Hi." She smiled awkwardly and waved. "Where do you want to sleep tonight?"

"Well," he put a finger and a thumb on his chin and raised his eyebrows. "If I have a choice, I'd love to sleep in your-"

"How about Dead's room? You're both dud-"

"No!" Dead and Satan shouted simultaneously. For about half a minute, they forgot they were mortal enemies, and jumped up and fist bumped each other. Then they remembered that they were not best friends, dropped back into their seats, folded their arms and looked away, in complete unison.

"You could room with Jeremy, considering his roomie is..." Ashlee paused for dramatic effect and moved her hand across in a sweeping motion. "...dead."

Spencer put his hand up. "I thought Satan didn't want to room with-"

"No!" Ashlee shook her head. "I meant that Jeremy's roommate is actually dead."

"Oh." Spencer giggled. "Riiiight."

END OF DAY ONE