"Still a no on reviving Sad?" Dead asked, shovelling cereal into his mouth. Satan dipped his spoon into the bowl, then lifted it out and flicked it at Dead.

"Does this answer your question?"

Dead laughed nervously. "I'll just...find another way."

"Another way?" Satan gave a hearty laugh. "It's not like the eldritch abominations will bring him back."

Across from them, Lily, Jeremy and Spencer were engaged in a separate conversation.

"I had hated dogs before that, but..." Lily made a gagging noise.

They had all found common ground, which was their hatred for dogs. Lily had many bad experiences with them, ranging from being barked at and bitten and chased, to the family dog dying, to everyone making fun of her when she said she just didn't like dogs.

Spencer was attacked by basically every dog he came across, big or small, yappy or barky. They all seemed to hate him, and luckily, the feeling was mutual.

Jeremy? Jeremy was just an asshole. He hated dogs for no reason. But he did like cats. God. He loved cats so much. They were so fluffy, and soft, and sleek, adorable, friendly...

"Yeah, man. Dogs are just..." Spencer raised the bowl to his mouth to swallow the last dregs of his cereal, and then put it down, winked, and did a finger gun. "The dog's breakfast."

Jeremy slapped his forehead. Lily groaned.

Anonymous listened to the conversations occurring. Dogs. Family. Food. It was all so stupid.

They stared at the empty cereal bowl on the table through the holes in their hood. Surviving twelve more days would be simple. All they had to do was avoid the nearest bathroom, and almost everything else, and then it would be home sweet home with 4chan again.

It wasn't like they didn't have their computer with them though. They had snuck it past security, but browsing the internet and being an asshole to strangers just wasn't as fun when you had one looking over your shoulder every five seconds. Particularly when that stranger was not quite a stranger, but an annoying white chick named Ashlee. Anon looked over to her. She had taken another photo of her cereal.

Everyone else was already finished eating.

"So...what are you doing?" Ashlee screeched from across the table,

They sighed. Annoying screechy girl gets conversation with the Silent Person for punishment.

"Is your computer game fun?"

Anon ignored her.

Dominus Apis stared at the man sitting across from him. The guy had spent most of the last day walking around aimlessly and asking people for marbles.

To be fair, he was eighty-seven.

What should he do? Should he help? Ignore him? Tell him where he was? Apis wondered what to do with this senile old man when Linda walked over and sat down next to him. Apis looked at her and sighed. "I know you're a vegan, Linda."

Linda hadn't heard, or maybe she was just pretending to have not heard. Either way, she did not respond. Her eyes stayed fixed on the old man. "What's that guy's deal?"

"I don't know," Apis whispered back slowly. "And I don't think he knows either."

The old man looked up at him, eyes wide. "Have you seen my son? He's orange and stripy... what's his name again? Ne...ned...net...Nellie..." He looked at the ground, dejected.

"Nemo?" Apis suggested.

"Yes!" The old man looked up, his face lit up once more. "What's your name?"

"I'm Dominus Apis and this is-"

"Linda. I'm a vegan." She extended a hand. "Why are you here, old man?"

She said it softly, softly enough that it showed she was making an effort to be sensitive about the situation. Her words, on the other hand, gave a completely different idea.

"I was visiting my son, and..." He froze. "This isn't Luke's house!"

Linda shot a worried glance at Apis. "I think we should start simpler."

"Okay," Apis agreed. "What's your name, sir?"

"Bond. James Bond." He stood up confidently and held out his hand, falling over on the table in the process. Apis rushed over to help him up.

"Has he got any ID?"

"Soo...Marilyn, right?" Dead slid onto the couch beside her, trying to appear casual. "You can do the thing with the eldritch thingies, right?"

Marilyn looked up from her phone. How did this guy not know what an eldritch abomination was? "Eldritch abominations? I can talk to them, if that's what you mean by 'the thing'."

"Great!" Dead clapped his hands together. "So. Let's bring one here!"

Marilyn laughed, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think an 'eldritch thingy' will come because you want to bring some guy back from the dead."

"Well, I summoned Satan before. It can't be that different."

"Okay then." Marilyn stood up and straightened her skirt. This guy was an idiot, but there was no way he was going to back down from this. Besides, it wasn't like there was a lot of effort in summoning one. "Basically? Ask for it to come, then wait."

Dead did the thing where he put his hands in his pockets and leant back a bit, nodding. "Doesn't sound too hard. How long we gotta wait?"

"Uuugh." Four hours later, Dead rolled around on the floor. This was so boring. At least there were books here, maybe he could read o-

Marilyn kicked the book away as soon as Dead began to reach for it.

"What was that for?!"

"Do you really want to know?" Marilyn stared at Dead.

It was strange and intense and it was honestly kind of disturbing because she was just staring, unblinking, into his eyes and into his soul and-

Dead looked away. No more of that. "Yes, I do want to know."

"Check the title."

"Anthropomorphic Erotica: Volume Thirteen, Twenty-Ninth- eugh." Dead threw the book away and stood up to lie on the coffee table instead of the floor.

See, that was nicer. He turned over so he was facing upward. Wait, what was that?

A purple glow formed in the air above him.

"You might want to look aw-"

"Frickin' finally! It only took, like, four hours!" Dead said, exasperated.

The glow disappeared.

"What the hell?" Dead sat up quickly.

"You probably pissed it off," Marilyn said. She rolled off the couch and onto the floor.

"Son of a bitch!"

Anon watched as Satan continued to flirt with Ashlee.

"Are you the kingdom of Hell? Because giiirl, you are hot."

Ugh. It was unbearable to watch.

Anon went back to looking through their computer, enjoying the time without Ashlee. They finished a game of chess against the computer, then played Solitaire, then lost chess again, then checked how Satan and Ashlee's conversation had progressed.

"Call me," Satan did the hand-phone wiggly thing and disappeared into thin air. Ashlee sighed and sat down, hand on her face and staring into the sky.

Anon couldn't tell if she was infatuated or fed up.

But it didn't look like Ashlee was going to be annoying them anytime soon, so they opened up the first folder of their folder maze and navigated through.

Anon clicked on a video file and maximised the screen.

Man, these multi-coloured ponies were much more amusing than they had thought they'd be. They should have started watching sooner.

"Dominus, I don't think this is his," Linda put the ID card back in its wallet pocket.

"No? Why?"

"Mostly because it is one of four IDs in his pocket, and it says his name is Barack Obama, born in 1234." Linda dug around in the old guy's pockets some more. "There's a note here..." She cleared her throat and held it in front of her. "Dear Clyde, please meet me at-" The next word was scribbled out. "-somewhere with the drugs."

"Well, at least we know what he did."

Clyde leant back in his seat. "I road tripped around America and fought demons with my little brother...I wonder how little Sammy is doing?"

"Dude," Apis said. "That is so meta."

Sad had no idea what had just happened. He had been making coffee one moment, and then he had blacked out or something...and now he was here, in some room he had never been before.

Dead stood in front of him, tears forming in his eyes.

"Sad?"

"Dead? What hap-"

"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE ALIVE." Dead threw his arms around his brother.

"I was...dead?"

Dead pushed Sad away and stared at him in disbelief. "You don't remember?"

"I was making coffee, and then..." He trailed off and put a hand on his forehead. "I thought I just fainted." Sad shrugged. Dead pulled him in for a hug again.

Marilyn stood up and brushed out the folds in her skirt. "If you guys are going to, uh... I'm going to l-"

"You think we're..." Dead pushed Sad away, both of them laughing awkwardly.

"No, we're brothers."

"Oh. That's why you look so similar." Marilyn sat down again. "I thought Dead was just really narcissistic."

"I'm not n..." Dead trailed off, realising that denying it would just make everyone else make fun of him more.

Nobody said anything for a few minutes.

Finally, Sad spoke. "So, uh...how'd you do it, Dead?"

"Just, uh, you know. This and that."

"Dead," Sad warned.

Dead let out a terrified screech. "Okay! Fine." He shuffled around a bit. "I may have summoned Satan, and-"

"You made a deal with Satan?!"

"Well, it kinda didn't work, so we summoned an eldritch abomination instead-"

"This is a new low, even for you," he sighed.

"Funny, that's exactly what Satan said at dinner last night."

"...what?"

"Well, I, uh, may have accidentally made Satan an inmate as well."

"So, is everyone enjoying their dinner?" Linda asked as she sat down at the table. "It's gluten-free vegan."

Everyone at the table was poking at the green mush on her plate. Ashlee was the only one who wasn't, because she had already stood up and tossed in the garbage can.

"Is this even edible, Linda?" Dominus Apis asked.

"Of course it is! See-" Linda spooned some of the mush into her mouth. "It's..." She rushed over to the sink and spat it out. Alright, yes, that was terrible. She would admit that her cooking skills could do with a little work.

"Would you like me to make dinner?" Ashlee offered, putting a hand on Linda's back to comfort her. "You left it kinda early."

"'Kinda'?" Satan scoffed. "We're eating at six o' clock! I'm not a little kid, you know."

Linda looked at the pot of green mush on the stove, then to Ashlee, then to all the people retching at the smell of it.

"...Alright."