Anon crept out of their room. Hopefully Ashlee would not notice them leaving, because boy that girl got up early, and boy she was loud. They couldn't watch ponies with her screeching over their shoulder.

They stepped downstairs carefully, making sure that the stairs didn't creak, and flopped on the couch. They flipped open their laptop and switched on the TV.

"That concludes the 524th episode of our pony marathon! Ponies all day, every day, for 75 days!"

Anon leant back and turned on their laptop.

Ashlee watched Anon leave the bedroom. As much as they would like to think they were an amazing ninja with honed skills of staying silent, they had dropped their laptop at least three times and they had hit their head on the bedroom table twice. Ashlee was also pretty sure they had crashed into the bedroom door before managing to open it.

She stepped out of bed and stared out the window on her door.

Anon was lying back on the couch, TV on, laptop flipped open to some blogging site Ashlee didn't recognise. Anon clicked something on the screen and began to type.

The moment they took their attention away from the TV screen, the broadcast fizzed into static, and then a hypnotic grey swirl with an accompanying droning noise. Anon looked up.

"What the fudge?" Ashlee whispered, opening the door a little to get a clearer view of what was happening.

When Anon stopped paying attention to their computer screen, it turned pitch black. The black then seemed to leave the screen, and crept to the rest of the computer. Soon the whole thing was so black that it looked like it had been dipped in tar. The computer started to swirl in time with the TV screen, and changed shape to mimic it. Anon looked down again.

"What the f-" they started, but they were cut off by the ever-growing black hole that was once their computer. It swallowed them and began to get smaller, and smaller, until it disappeared along with Anon.

The broadcast switched back to the pony show.

Standing where the black hole had been was a humanoid figure, standing stiff, and...square-looking.

Ashlee crept down the stairs. She accidentally stepped on a creaky plank and hid as the figure turned around to look at the stairs.

"Ow. Painful."

Ashlee slowly stood up again and continued to go down the stairs. Quietly. She didn't want to accidentally scare them. It? Uh. "Um...hello?"

The figure stepped forward, revealing huge eyes, a huge smile, and an obnoxiously colourful coat.

It was a robot.

"My name is Stqeve Jones. The Q is silent." It held out a hand. "I am equipped with state-of-the-art sensors to detect the changes in my atmosphere. I can feel pain, just like you, humans, and everyone you love!"

It closed its eyes, presumably in an attempt to make it more friendly. It did not work.

Ashlee shook its hand.

"Ow. Painful." Its face went flat, then its smile returned with its explanation. "My coat is made of polyester. My body is 100% asbestos!"

Ashlee pulled her hand away quickly.

"Would you like to hear my favourite sound?"

Ashlee froze. Its favourite sound? This robot was already horrible enough, what would its favourite sound be like?

The horrible sound of screeching – probably nails on a blackboard – filled the room. Ashlee covered her ears and winced in pain.

"I love this sound!" Stqeve smiled. "Do you want to hear my second favourite sound?"

"NonononononononONONONONONONONO-"

It had started playing its second favourite sound already. That sound was the sound of Nyan Cat. Steve sang along in an out-of-tune robotic voice.

"NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN."

Ashlee could only block out so much of the noise before the horrible sound reached her ears.

"FU-" She began to scream, before remembering that the f-word had been banned ever since the Anthropomorphic Erotica incident. She had to think of something she could use to vent her frustration. "FUDOOPYDO!" Not perfect, but it worked.

Lily walked out of her room to the sound of screeching and a robotic voice saying "Ow. Painful."

"No! Stop!"

"Ow. Painful. Ow. Painful. Ow. Painful. Ow. Painful."

Lily wanted to walk back into her room, because she was sick of this house's shit, but the only place to get breakfast was downstairs in the kitchen.

And she wanted breakfast.

"Ow. Painful."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ashlee screamed before running into the robot in an attempt to tackle it. It stayed in the exact same place. Ashlee kept pushing.

"Ow. Painful. Ow. Painful."

Lily stepped down the stairs so she could get a closer look. Ashlee heard her, stopped pushing the robot, and looked up.

"What is that thing?"

"Steve Jones," Ashlee said, covering her ears again.

"No. Stqeve Jones," it said with a smile, turning to Lily. "The Q is silent."

"That's what I- how do you even-" Ashlee sighed. "Never mind. I'm going to go make some pancakes." Stqeve stared at her as she walked to the kitchen.

It turned back to Lily. "My name is-"

"Stqeve Jones. Yeah, yeah, heard it-"

Stqeve's face-screen went a harsh red. "I have been angered. To show my anger I will play my least favourite song."

It started playing Queen's We Will Rock You from its speakers.

"I hate this song. This is the worst song ever."

"Marilyn. Marilyn. Marilyn." Someone was knocking on her door. It was nine in the morning, who the hell had the guts to disturb her at-

"Marilyn. Maaaaaarilyn."

Dead. That bastard.

"Marilyn!"

She threw off her covers and stormed over to the door. "What?!" She grabbed the handle and threw it open. "This had better be good."

Dead put his hands together and pressed two fingers to his lips. "The hair straightener is in your bathroom."

"The hair straightener is in my- on my god." She slapped her forehead. "Have you checked your bathroom?"

"Yeah, and it's not there because you used it on Snake Day. It's in your bathroom. Either get it for us or kick out your eldritch abominable."

"Abomination."

"Whatever."

Marilyn slid her hand down her face. "Fine."

Dead heard the signature crashing and banging of Marilyn's negotiations with Gül'lcra'agg (as she called it) as he waited outside the bathroom. She emerged from the room with a black eye, glaring at Dead, and handed him the hair straightener.

"Right. Don't bother me again." She stomped back to her room and slammed the door shut.

"Sad, I've got it," Dead called as he walked to the other bathroom.

Sad walked in and took it from Dead. "I'm using it first."

"Sure, sure."

He turned it on and it made a mechanical whirring. Sounded like it was working. Sad put it on his hair and pulled. "Huh. This works really well."

Dead sat on the bathtub while waiting for Sad to finish. Jeez, how long was his brother going to take with this thing?

The whirring of the straightener was replaced by snapping. A snapping like a crocodile.

"What the hell?" Sad pulled the straightener away as it opened and closed its tongs by itself, snapping. It snapped his fingers.

"Sad!"

Sad screamed as the straightener crocodile started snapping on his neck. He fell to the ground.

"No!"

The hair straightener kept snapping on Sad's throat.

"Don't die on me, not again, not for the-" Dead stopped his desperate pleading to count on his fingers. "How many times have we died this week?"

"S...ix..." Sad choked out with his last breath.

"NooooooOOOOOOO!"

"Ow. Painful."

Gül'lcra'agg looked at the human. What a strange human, one that had a body of metal and none other like it. Gül'lcra'agg could see that they were lonely.

So very lonely. Gül'lcra'agg understood this feeling.

Gül'lcra'agg touched the human.

"Ow. Painful."

It took their exact structure and made another human to be their friend. A human that was the exact same as the first. This way it would not be lonely.

"Ow. Painful."

"My name is Stqeve Jones. The Q is silent."

"My name is Stqeve Jones. The Q is silent."

Both humans held out their hands.

"Ow. Painful."

"Ow. Painful."

Gül'lcra'agg could still feel their loneliness. Why? There were two humans now, surely they would not be lonely.

Maybe there weren't enough humans.

Gül'lcra'agg made another human. Come on. Don't be lonely, humans. It would help so the humans would not be lonely.

Marilyn returned to her room to hear Linda screaming. She groaned. Was she ever going to get a break?

"Is this funny?" Linda pointed to something on her bed. "Is this some kind of joke to you? Who did this!?" There was a half-cooked bowl of instant macaroni and cheese sitting on Linda's bed.

"It's probably a joke, just like everything else in this house." Marilyn walked over to her bed and crawled under the covers again.

"THINK OF ALL THE ANIMALS THAT ANIMALS DIED TO MAKE THIS."

"I'm, like, 90% sure that crap is vegan, they don't even use real milk in the cheese."

Linda ignored Marilyn and threw it across the room. "I'm going to find who was responsible for this!" She stormed out of the room. Marilyn pulled her blanket over her head and buried her face in the pillow. Finally some peace and quiet.

Dominus Apis looked at the now dead Clyde, still debating which emotion to choose. Lily, thinking he was sad, put an arm around him. "It's okay, he's in a better place now."

Spencer, who nobody wanted there, but was there anyway, snorted. "Any place is better than this frickin' house."

Apis decided to force himself to cry again so he didn't look emotionless. "Yeah..." He let a tear roll down his cheek. "Clyde, wherever you are, I hope you're with Luke Sk- "

"Shh! I know you're mourning and all but you're about to infringe copyright!"

They sat in the room once belonging to John and Jeremy. The room, due to both its occupants being dead, was now empty and therefore the perfect place to hide- keep a body while they decided what to do with it.

"What about a funeral?" Lily suggested. "So we can, like, show our respects."

Apis wiped his face on his sleeve, not noticing he had actually been crying. "Yeah, he would like that."