"Is that a knife in your pants or are you just-" The DM laughed nervously and backed into the corner.

George reached into his pants and pulled out a knife.

George, you bastard.

"Knife. That is a knife. Crap. You know, I kind of wish it wasn't, because I really don't feel like getting stabbed today-"

"You're not going to say anything, you're going to sit in that corner and not say anything while I tie you up."

There were so many snarky comments they could make about that, but they didn't want George to kill them. The eldritch abominations only needed them for so much, and if George was good enough, the DM would be replaced.

George shoved them into the corner and walked over to the intercom. He pressed his finger to the 'on' switch triumphantly.

"Attention, inmates. As you may or may not know, my name is George." He grinned as he sat down in the DM's spinny important person chair. "And from now on, I am in control of the House." George flicked some of the buttons and switches. There was so much he had to fix in the last few days of the Easy Way Out.

Mostly, making it the Hard Way Out.

"Things are going to be changing up a bit."

Marilyn was crawling out of bed when she heard him.

"First things first! The eldritch abominations are no longer permitted to revive you. I mean, that was probably in the rule book but it hasn't been enforced, so if they revive you now, I will kill you slowly and agonisingly."

Eh. Whatever. That was a problem for the Beanchesters.

"Secondly, I will be taking away your Wi-Fi."

Still not her problem. It's not like she even used the Wi-Fi.

"And the final rule change for this morning, all of the eldritch abominations will be kicked out of the house."

Wait. What? Why? Marilyn ran out of her room and into Gül'lcra'agg's bathroom. Pleaase be there, please be there, please still be there-

It was still in the bathtub, straddling the unrecognisable, somewhat decayed corpse of probably John McJohn. It could be anyone, but considering Gül'lcra'agg's attachment to him, it was probably McJohn.

It was also clutching the sink, several water pipes, and the shower curtain with its tentacles.

"No! I told you, get out of the-" George sighed- "ugh. Never mind. Eldritch abominations are permitted but only because it won't leave."

Marilyn briefly considered giving Gül'lcra'agg a relieved hug, but she didn't. The consequences would most likely be bad. She settled for a celebratory nod instead.

When she checked her phone, Ashlee screamed.

No signal.

Nobody came to find out why she screamed because her walls were soundproof and she had no reception.

This was horrible. She stared at the screen. No bars. No WiFi. No reception.

What would she do? What could she do?

They were out of food, they didn't have WiFi, by this point nobody really wanted to talk to her and the only viable entertainment in the house was a TV playing My Little Pony 24/7.

Maybe Sad and Dead would talk to her. They didn't have any friends either.

"You let him die! You killed him!" Lily shouted at Apis.

Apis shrugged nonchalantly. "We were having a fight to the death."

"No, we were having a fight to the death. He wasn't part of it."

"Well, someone died. That's really all there is to a fight to the death, Besides, he was the one who jumped in front." Spencer's death wasn't his fault. He was the one who jumped in front. He was the one who agreed to fight to the death. It was Spencer's fault, and Apis wasn't going to take the blame.

He did not see Lily readying a knife.

But Marilyn did.

"Stop!"

Lily quickly hid the knife behind her back and turned to Marilyn.

"Lily, a moment?"

She laughed nervously and walked over to Marilyn.

"We can't afford to have anyone else die," Marilyn whispered, "There are only six of us left, and surviving will be a whole lot easier if we aren't all trying to kill each other!"

"He killed Spencer!" Lily hissed.

"So we can't kill anyone else!" Marilyn said, exasperated. "Listen, I don't need you to be best friends. Please just don't kill each other."

Lily looked over to Apis and glared at him.

Apis glared at Lily, even though he had no idea what they were talking about.

"Okay," Lily said slowly, still holding her gaze to Apis'. "Fine."

Ashlee knocked on the Beanchesters' door.

Dead was still sleeping, and Sad...

...Sad was scrolling through something on his phone.

Ashlee threw the door open. "Hey, Sad!"

"Oh, hey, Ashlee." Sad kept scrolling, oblivious to her anger. "What's up?"

"Nothing, Sad." She clenched her fists as rage began to course through her. "You...have WiFi."

"Yeah, the guy said he was turning it off, but I still have it! Weird, huh?"

She tried to ignore it, but it was already there. It had already taken over her. It was inside her brain, telling her one thing.

Kill Sad.

Take his phone.

"Give me your WiFi."

George leant back in the chair. "Do you like watching this? Me turning your precious Games to ruin?"

"You're not actually ruining them that much, you're actually providing today's gimmick for me-" The DM stopped themselves before George heard what they were saying- "I mean, please don't kill me, I want to go home, I want to be in my loving fiancé's arms, you know what that's like, right, George? Oh, wait-" They laughed- "I forgot. No one loves you."

"You're forgetting that you're my prisoner," George said, less phased by their insult than they would have liked. That was okay, they had plenty more insults in their vocabulary. George flipped on the intercom again. "And now, the inmates are going to pay for your mistakes." He cleared his throat. "Attention, inmates. Some of you may be noticing something different about yourself. Maybe you have a song stuck in your head." He hummed it. "Look at this photograph..." Then he laughed evilly, because he was really getting into his role as antagonist.

"You bastard!" spat the DM. "Not even a bunch of criminals deserve that." George turned away from the microphone, a smug grin on his face.

"Ha! There are worse songs in this library, you know." He turned back to the intercom. "Some of you may be afflicted with the sudden, unending desire to kill. But personally, I think the Nickelback is worse. Anyway, I trust you'll all enjoy that." He once again laughed evilly. "Bye, love you," he said as he turned the intercom off.

"'Bye, love you'?"

"Muscle memory, okay?" George hissed. "The only other person I hang up on is my mother." George spun around in his spinny chair. "Now, let the H***** Games begin!"

"Why was that censored?"

"Oh, I just installed a new add-on. Anything that could cause us to get sued is now censored. Here, check this out." George cleared his throat and began to sing. "I **** you **** ******* when you ****** in."

"Oh, right, T***** S****."

She couldn't fight it anymore. She had to kill him. Ashlee needed that WiFi to be hers. It was like some ancient, primal urge, her need for an internet connection at all times.

She charged at Sad. She grabbed his hair and pulled.

His head ripped straight off, splattering blood over the bed, the walls, the carpet. Sad's body went limp and fell backward. Ashlee tore the phone from his hands and slid to the floor to use her newfound internet.

"My p*******..." she hissed.

Dead did not wake up while this incident happened. He stayed sound asleep through it all, the beginning, the main event, and the bloody conclusion. It was only when he heard a soft thump on the floor that he woke up.

Dead sat up to see a headless Sad slumped against the wall, blanket still pulled over his legs. Ashlee was curled on the floor, clutching a phone – Sad's phone – and stroking it with bloody hands. It caked her hands and face – Sad's blood caked her hands and face.

Kill her. Kill her for what she's done to your brother. Kill, Dead, kill.

What would he kill her with? This was his bedroom, there wasn't much he could use. That.

Yes, that. That would do.

A lacerated lamp severed Ashlee's airway before either of them knew it.

Lily glared at Dominus Apis.

Dominus Apis stared at Lily.

"So, uh-" the intercom crackled on- "neither of you are experiencing the strong urge to kill right now?"

Lily shrugged and stared at one of the 'hidden' cameras, breaking her staring contest with Apis. "Not one that wasn't there before. I've already been convinced not to act on that. No offense, but I don't think either of us want to be on the bad side of the twelvie whose best friend is an eldritch abomination."

"And, uh, what about the mostly naked, really ripped dude?"

Apis kept his stare fixated on Lily. "No."

George groaned. "I'm going to find someone who's willing to commit homicide."

George flipped the microphone output to the room where Dead was currently performing the Three C's – curled up, crying, and covered in blood.

"So, Dead, how are you feeling about the undying bloodlust?"

Dead looked up, tears streaming down his face. "I want my brother back!"

"In that case, I'll strike a deal with you." George laced his fingers together, put them behind his head, and leant back. "I can revive him, and will revive him, when you stop being a baby and succumb to your murderous impulses."

Except Dead hadn't heard George's suggestion, because he had leant away from the microphone.

"What?" he shouted. "I didn't hear that!"

"Ugh." George pushed himself forward again. "I revive Sad. You try to kill someone, preferably succeeding. Everyone is happy, excluding whoever dies. Deal? Deal."

He pressed a button and Sad was zapped back together.