First Human walked back into the Home for a third time this orb-rise and emitted a greeting that was high-pitched by human standards, and sat down on the floor of the Home.

Gül'lcra'agg waved a tentacle in response. First Human never wanted anything much-

First Human asked if it could make them some food.

No. Too much work. Gül'lcra'agg made a discontented noise. First Human blocked their ears.

Rude.

When Gül'lcra'agg stopped making the noise, First Human opened their noise-hole. Gül'lcra'agg started making the noise again, because First Human was just going to ask it the same thing.

Gül'lcra'agg stopped making the noise. First Human pointed out it would be easy, it would take seconds, and then they would leave it alone.

Gül'lcra'agg set fire to the shower curtain.

"Not this shit again," Marilyn groaned. She grabbed a towel and tossed it on top, trying to put the fire out.

The towel caught fire too.

"Can you please help me put this out?"

Gül'lcra'agg turned around and folded its tentacles.

Despite the fact that it had never done something like that, and Marilyn wanted to be proud of it for adapting to human nonverbal behaviours to aid their communication, she couldn't praise it yet, because it had just refused to help put out the fire, which had just reached the sink and ignited a can of aerosol deodorant.

"Please?"

The fire travelled to the rolls of toilet paper sitting on top of the toilet, which then rolled down and ignited the toilet as well.

"For me?"

Gül'lcra'agg turned around and smothered the fire with its tentacles.

It was time to ask the question again now. It was worth a try. Probably.

"Alright, you probably won't like this, but..." She sighed. "Can you give us food now?"

Gül'lcra'agg poked her with a tentacle – ouch – and let out a screech of agreement.

"Thank you."

"Dead! You didn't have to kill her!" Sad shouted.

"I did have to!" Dead retorted. "She killed you, and then there was just this feeling, just like when I had the-" His next line was so infringing of copyright that it was blocked out with not a beep, but a wild screeching, not unlike that of a dying vulture.

"But that was-" Sad began, but his sentence, too, infringed copyright and was drowned out by the sound of someone playing a mad guitar solo, with shredding and distortion and hammer-ons and everything.

"And then I–" Whale sounds, low calls droning through the water, calming the mind of anyone who heard. Calling out to their friends.

"We've had this-" The joyous whinny of a foal, then the sound of gleeful galloping.

"Because-" Morse code beeping a message, boop beep boop beep boop boop boop beep boop boop break beep boop beep beep BEEP BEEP BEEP boop boop beep boop beep boop break-

.- .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / ..-. .- ...- . ... / .- .-. . / --. .- -.--

Not one word of Sad's next sentence could be shown because of how copyright-infringing it was. It was replaced with a cat video.

Aww, look at it, so tiny and cute and adorable, aww, it's waving to you, wave back everyone, look at its cute tiny paws, yes, that's right, kill your human you adorable little ball of fuzz-

The cat video cut off.

"Honestly, Dead, I don't know why I bother," Sad sighed.

"Well, at least I do!" Dead stormed out of the room and slammed the door.

Dominus Apis was still glaring at Lily when they heard stomping coming from the stairs.

She looked up.

Dead was stomping down the stairs, eyes fixed on her.

"What's up, De-"

He threw his hands around her throat.

"Dude, what the hell." Lily tried to pull him off.

Dead lifted Lily into the air. She struggled to pull his hands away from her throat and waved her legs around in an attempt to kick him over.

She was choking.

Something changed in Apis when he saw Dead trying to kill Lily. He didn't quite know what or why. Perhaps Marilyn's pleading had struck a chord with him, perhaps he was feeling emotions again, perhaps it was that someone was about to kill his sworn rival, and that person was not him.

All he knew was, at that moment, he didn't want Lily to die.

And that it was probably the last reason. He was a salty guy.

Dominus Apis jumped up and pushed Dead forward. He dropped Lily and stumbled backward, falling to the floor.

"So you wanna die, huh?" Dead pushed himself upright and wiped his face like an anime guy in the middle of a fight about protecting your comrades.

...wait a second.

Dominus Apis glared at Dead. He needed a quick, snappy reply, and fast. "Not today." Eh. Not his best, but it worked for the situation.

Apis readied his fist for a punch as Dead smirked and prepared for...something.

Apis punched Dead in the stomach. Dead punched Apis in the face. Apis flipped Dead onto the floor.

Dead punched him again.

The DM cut through the rope that had been keeping their hands together. If there was something George didn't know, it was how to hold a hostage.

...as well as a lot of other things. George was too inexperienced to be holding hostages, and he gave in to his emotions too quickly.

They flipped their pocket knife closed and hid it. They'd hide it while they worked out what to do next. The DM had the knife the whole time, because George had neglected to take it away. They'd been waiting for the perfect moment to strike, and also, it was pretty freakin' funny watching George screw everything up. Even though he had done permanent damage, it was still amusing.

George laughed at the fight that was happening onscreen (sustainable murder. Yet another thing George didn't have the hang of yet) and dropped some popcorn on the floor. The DM held in a gasp. That was their popcorn, how dare he. George hadn't even paid for it.

That was it. This man was not going to be in command any more.

The DM flipped open their pocket knife, still hiding it, and sprung up quietly, creeping closer, silently loser to George.

They stepped on something which made a soft crunch under their foot.

Crap. George's keys.

They had to act fast, not like the careful, planned out moves like they liked to take.

George turned around. "What the-"

The DM pressed their knife against his throat. "Don't move, George." George cursed as the DM tied a rope around his hands and frisked him for knives.

They found four, one in his pocket, one in his sleeve, one in his shoe, and one he had stashed in an underpants pocket.

What? The DM was experienced, they knew better than to leave the underpants unchecked. Even if it was weird and awkward, a bit of awkwardness with your hostage was nothing compared to when the hostage escaped and tried to kill you. Now that  was awkward.

The DM tied George in the corner and checked he wasn't tied next to one of their backup hostage situation knife pockets. It was impossible to be 'too careful'.

"You have much to learn about usurping, George. You can't usurp the master of usurping."

Dead stopped punching Apis. Whatever reason he had started for, he didn't feel as strongly about it as he had about thirty seconds ago.

In fact, he didn't feel strongly about it at all. He didn't feel anything about it.

...Had he even had a reason in the first place?

Dead stood up and laughed sheepishly. "Uh, sorry about that."

"Attention, inmates!" A familiar voice boomed over the intercom. "The hostage situation has been reversed, and everything George screwed up today is back to normal. You should no longer feel any murderous impulses, or be hearing any terrible music in your ears any more."

Sad ran out of his room and looked up at the nearest 'hidden' camera. "Is Ashlee alive again, then?" he asked hopefully.

"Nice try," the DM laughed. "That's the best joke I've heard all day, and that's with George's expert wit being lectured to me since nine."

"Bite me," came a muffled voice behind the microphone.

END OF DAY NINE