“Lottie.”
Why did Tristan have to utter her name like it encompassed a lifetime of blame and disappointment? Lottie dashed tears from the corners of her eyes before they could fall. “Tristan. You need to stay. We need you here.” Turning to Noah, she demanded, “Why can’t you take Brad? He just got here. We don’t need him yet.”
“Lottie,” Tristan said. His voice so soft Lottie could barely hear him over the pounding of her heart.
No! He had to stay. She needed him. Zoe needed him. Biting her lip to keep it from quivering, she finally let Tristan catch her eye.
“He’s my best friend, Lottie,” Tristan said, his voice still no louder than a whisper. “I need to go for that reason alone.”
“Then take me with you. He’s my husband.” She threw the words at him. It wasn’t fair. Tristan had just as many reasons to stay than go.
“You know we can’t do that, child.”
“Why not, Noah?” she asked, drawing out his name in a perverse blend of mockery and pleading. She knew she sounded childish, like a selfish brat, but she couldn’t seem to stop. Her stomach roiled.
“You’re needed here.”
“That’s bullshit, Noah and you know it.” She clenched her hands into fists trying to still their shaking. Ever-absent God, she was angry. Hurt. Sick. They would be gone for weeks, and though she knew and trusted Jaesen, he wasn’t Tristan. Begging Tristan to stay with her eyes, she addressed Noah, “Please, just take Brad not Tristan.”
Tristan closed his eyes. He looked… ashamed. The expression confused her. Why?
“Child—“
She whipped her gaze back to Noah. “Don’t ‘child’ me, Noah. If Tristan goes, then I can go.”
“Child,” Noah tried a second time in his irritatingly calm “be reasonable” voice. “Do you think Grey will tolerate you leaving him behind again?”
That’s low Noah, she thought. She just… “Tristan should stay. We need him here,” she said mulishly, unwilling to let the argument go even though she knew she should. It wasn’t helping, and she was only making it worse.
“He will be an asset to Huxley’s reclamation.”
Lottie huffed. “Oh, and Jaesen or Brad wouldn’t?”
“I… I can’t sit here and wait, Lottie,” Tristan whispered.
Her heart ached. She’d never seen him so… so… cowed. So low. What happened? What had she missed? What had she done?
“I need you and Jaesen to stay at the settlement. Teach Brad and the other women what they need to know. No one else here has the necessary skills to survive.”
“I’m sure Brad, the ‘weapons specialist’ can figure out how to kill and skin a deer. No one will starve if he stayed and I went. Besides, the women here aren’t stupid. I’m sure they would figure it out.”
“Lottie,” Tristan said, defeat thick in his voice. Lottie eyed him with suspicion. He never sounded that way. He was a rock. Someone you could count on to help you no matter what. And that was the problem… She swallowed hard.
“There are three pregnant women here”—Four pregnant women, Noah, four, Lottie thought sullenly.—“and one with two infants. Even if these women were fully trained in sustainability, they would still need help.” Lottie huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself. He was right, and she hated it. “Zoe and Nyah do not need the stress of having to fight for survival, and then you have Katie.”
“What about her?”
“She’s too big.”
“Too big?” Lottie asked.
“She is barely out of her first trimester, correct?” Noah didn’t wait for her answer, though she nodded. “She looks to be well into her second if not early third.”
“She’s tiny, though,” Jaesen said, interrupting the conversation and giving voice to Lottie’s prior assumptions that Katie’s petite stature somehow distorted the size of her baby bump, but now that Noah remarked upon it, did she need to be concerned for Katie as well?
“Not enough to account for her gestation size.”
“What are you saying?” Tristan asked, concern evident in his tone.
“I suspect she is carrying twins. And if that is the case, she will need to be on bedrest if she hopes to carry to term.” Noah looked at her. “Especially because she is so small. Child, you will be down another three helpers in the next few months. There is no way the settlement will be prepared for winter without you.” After a pause, Noah addressed Tristan, “Now, I don’t think Huxley will come straight here—he’ll want to shield the woman—but I have a plan on how to find him.”
Lottie looked at Tristan, Noah, then Brad and Jaesen. If she tried to sit here and listen to them plan she was going to scream. She needed some time alone.
Standing, she turned on her heel and left. She knew just where to go.
***
Time lost all meaning. It was just her, the hum of her sling as it twirled, and the sound of her missiles finding their targets.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Lottie?”
“Don’t start with me Jaesen. I am not in the mood,” she snipped, refusing to turn around and face him.
“I don’t care if you are or not,” Jaesen barked, and she flinched.
“Go away Jaesen.”
“No. I need to know why you flipped out back there.”
Her shoulders tensed. “Why? What will it solve?”
“Well, for one, it will tell me why you’re hell-bent on getting rid of me or Brad.”
Lottie huffed a laugh and forced her shoulders away from her ears. Her fingers dropped a new stone into the small pocket of her sling. Lifting her arm, she spun the weapon, building up the centripetal force before letting the stone fly.
Thwack!
“I’m not getting rid of you or Brad. Tristan needs to stay.”
“Dammit, Lottie,” Jaesen growled. “He needs to go.”
“Why?”
“Because Tristan is one of the most easygoing, laidback, and loyal soldiers I know, but even he has his limits.”
Lottie turned slowly. “Limits?”
Jaesen had his hands shoved deep into his pockets, and his shoulders were rounded defensively. “I know you have this grand vision where he and Zoe fall back into each other’s arms, madly in love, but, Lottie… They’re different people now than they were eight years ago. Nothing you say, do, or wish will change the fact he needs time—and so does she—to come to grips with how things are between them. You have to accept the fact they may never come to love each other again.”
“But—”
Jaesen silenced her with a look. “She’s carrying another man’s baby, Lottie.” He turned his gaze to his clasped hands around his knees. “One she got through sex. It takes a strong man to not feel something negative about that.”
“But…” Her heart ached, knowing how the two of them had talked about each other before their reunion.
“Not everyone is so accepting of the fact they didn’t father the child his woman is carrying,” Jaesen said. She stared at the worn leather of his boot as he scuffed it in the dirt. The frayed edges near the sole reminded her of how she felt hearing the news of Casey’s arrest. Tattered. “Lottie, we can’t all be like Case.” When his gaze recaptured her’s, he added, “Tristan needs time to deal with his jealousy without a camp full of pregnant women staring at him. Judging him.” He glanced over his shoulder to the path back to the settlement. “I promise you, when he comes back, things will be different.” Focusing on her again, he said, “If nothing else, he’ll be calmer. More willing to accept what God has planned for him.”
Lottie nodded. It did make sense, and she had noticed the strain between the two of them but had blamed it on her unsettled stomach and Casey’s absence.
“Come on,” Jaesen said, offering her his hand. “Let’s head back. Grey probably needs you.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m not ready.”
“Why?”
She shrugged her shoulders.
They stood there, silent, staring at each other awkwardly. Finally, Jaesen asked, “How long are you going to be out here?”
Sighing, Lottie looked at the rock she held, tossing it lightly to test its weight. She sighted a target and tossed the rock as hard as she could. Jaesen’s gaze tracked the projectile before refocusing on her.
“What are you really afraid of? Him not coming back or them not catching up?”
Lottie took a deep breath. “What if, when they catch up to him, they find out he doesn’t want to come back? What am I going to do?”
Jaesen stepped closer, invading her personal space and her heart skipped a beat. This is Jaesen. Jaesen! He won't hurt you, she silently reprimanded. She flinched when his finger brushed her cheek. He caught a tendril of her hair which he slipped behind her ear. “You’ll survive just like you were planning to when you were pregnant with Grey, only this time, you have a small village of women—and Brad and me—ready and willing to help you. Besides, why wouldn’t he want to come back?”
She shrugged and stepped away from him, needing space.
Jaesen snorted. “If you’d told me two years ago, I’d be in a camp full of women and babies, I’d have said you were crazy. Not possible. Not with the crisis. But here you are. And here I am. And this camp will be full of squallers before springtime.”
She grimaced. Lottie hated that term. They were babies, not squallers. Her hands drifted to her stomach, pressing against the life that was growing there.
Jaesen’s eyelids narrowed and is expression turned shrewd. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
“I’m not—”
“Yes, you are,” he said, cutting her off. “You’ve been out of sorts—irritable and whiny—complaining of stomach aches. Lottie, I’ve been babysitting Katie every afternoon with her ‘morning sickness’ since I got here, and I know the signs. You’re acting just like she did.”
Lottie exhaled with a long, shuddery breath. There really wasn’t a reason to hide it. Looking down, her gaze found a rock at her feet. She nudged it. “Yes. I’m pregnant.”
“Case’s?”
Lottie nodded. Who else?
“Thought so,” Jaesen said, his tone confident and a bit smug. “God, he’ll be so fucking pleased.”
He ran a hand through his short hair and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “You know Casey’ll be thrilled once he finds out. He’s always wanted a family.” Jaesen shifted his weight to look at her directly. “Did you tell Noah or Tristan?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I wasn’t completely sure… before.”
“But, it’s pretty likely?”
She nodded. Her anger, fear, and sadness faded, and her limbs grew heavy. Spying a stump, she collapsed onto it. “Can I ask you something? Seriously?”
Following her over, Jaesen squatted. “Sure?”
Her palms were sweaty. She rubbed her hands on her shorts to dry them. “What if they don’t catch up to him? Noah did say the UTR had a head start.”
“They’ll find him.”
“But what if they don’t?”
“Noah has a plan. He knows what he’s doing. Why do you think he brought the dogs?”
Lottie shrugged. She was so used to seeing Noah with his German shepherds; she hadn’t thought about it.
“They’re guard dogs, Lottie. Guard. Dogs.”
Yeah… She glanced at him, not understanding his point.
Jaesen huffed a laugh that made the skin between her shoulders tighten. He was laughing at her. She was sure of it.
“Ever wonder why he trains dogs and not, say, the Department of Agriculture and Husbandry Cultivation?” Jaesen asked her.
“I don’t know. Hobby?”
Shaking his head, Jaesen chuckled. “Noah’s the sole provider of guard dogs to Fort Twenty-four. It’s a good cover and allows him to travel across state lines uncontested. I bet the other RACs have similar tasks.” Jaesen glanced at the trees before pinning her with his gaze once again. “The way Noah explains it; the army has one breeder-trainer in each state. That’s how they keep the gene pool from inbreeding too deeply. Noah and his fellow breeder-trainers trade dogs across state lines. Bix or Mira could have any doggie parent from New York to California.”
“I think I understand now why Casey hates him so much.”
Jaesen chuckled. “Why?”
“Well, he’s this perfect little protagonist,” Lottie replied. “Always there with the right answer.” She hung her head and clasped her hands. “He leads a rebellion. Can survive in the wilderness. Can slip in and out anywhere like a ghost. Never leaves a trail. And now you tell me he can travel across stateliness without fear of repercussion?”
“Yep.”
“Well, he’s a little too perfect, don’t you think?” Lottie asked.
Jaesen grabbed his stomach and barked a laugh which quickly morphed into all-out guffaws.
“Stop laughing at me!” she growled, a small smile tugged at her lips.
“I’m not laughing at you.”
“Sure, sounds like it,” she grumbled.
“I’m not though,” Jaesen said still laughing. “He’s not God. Not infallible. He didn’t know ahead of time about Case’s arrest or that Tristan would be facing an inquiry.”
Lottie sighed, and a thin chuckle bubbled in her chest.
“It’s just… I thought knowing how Noah and Tristan would be able to find Case would help.”
Sighing, she said, “There’s a lot of ground to cover between here and Fort Twenty-four. What if they miss him?”
“They won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“True,” Jaesen said. “But you and I both know Noah. He won’t stop looking until he finds Case. Even if that means he has to break him out of Fort Twenty-four.”
She nodded, not quite convinced.
“Come on,” Jaesen said, getting to his feet. Offering her his hand, he said, “Let’s head back. Grey probably needs you.”
She placed her hand in his, allowing him to help her up. Giving in to her impulse, she pulled Jaesen into a hug. “Thank you.”
His arms wrapped around her, tentatively returning the embrace. “Don’t mention it.”
*****If you like Acquisition and Preservation, please add it to your library!
Comments (0)
See all