We were quiet for a second.

I could kiss her, lead her on again. Hell, maybe we could even fool around a bit. I could use a pick me up. But last time things weren’t exactly okay between us. She likes me, a lot. Even after all this time. Could I really just mess with her like that?

What about Maddison?

Wait, what about her? She’s my student, nothing more.

I clung to Carmen tighter.

“Okay,” I said.

She swallowed loudly.

I looked to her and leaned in, she met me halfway. My heart did a flip when we kissed. She must have felt the same thing because she quickly kissed me again. I rolled on top of her and deepened the kiss.

She ran her hands up my back and our tongues fought for dominance.

“Mmm.” She moaned into my mouth.

“Fuck, you’re hot.” I broke the kiss.

She was breathing heavy.

“I believe you now.” She smirked.

“Told you, I’m total lez now.” I leaned down and kissed her again.

She flipped our positions and instantly I tensed up. I froze. Horrible flashbacks from that night coming to my mind.

“Wait, stop, stop, stop.” I quickly pushed her off.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” She quickly pulled back.

My heart raced in fear.

“I’m sorry.” She said when I still hadn’t said anything.

“It’s okay, sorry. Come here.” I kissed her again.

She kissed back. Her hands grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to her. I wrapped my arms around her neck. She started kissing my neck, again I froze up. Fuck, I can’t, I can’t do this.

“Wait, I—I can’t” I pulled back.

“Okay, okay, we don’t have to.” She pulled back quickly, showing me her hands.

“Fuck.” I ran my hands down my face, they were trembling.

“I’m sorry.”

“Fuck! What the fuck!” I threw a pillow across the room.

She just sat there and stared at me.

“It’s not you, it’s me. Trust me I want to, fuck I’m so horny. It’s just, I might still have some stuff in my head from that night.” I said.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“No, no, no. It’s been years. Just having you touch me like that again, just got to me a little.”

She sighed.

“Well what if I don’t touch you?” she asked.

“Huh?”

“Like you only touch me, I just let you do what you want.” She said.

My heart raced at the thought of how hot that would be. I smirked.

“Let’s do it, lay down,” I ordered.

“Yes, Mistress.” She teased.

I crawled on top of her and started kissing her. She kissed back but kept her hands to herself. I kissed her neck and trailed kisses down her collar bone. She shuddered and moaned. I pulled her shirt off, her hard pink nipples staring back at me.

“Emm.” She moaned when I licked one.

God this is hot. I quickly tossed my own shirt to the ground and got to work on her shorts. She wiggled around under me.

“Fuck, fuck me scarlet.” She moaned as I kissed her thighs.

I pulled her out of her clothes, admiring her trimmed ginger bush. Then I stripped out of my own clothes. She swallowed loudly and licked her lips at the sight of my body. I ran my trembling hands up her body.

She’s changed, I’m changed. There is nothing to be afraid of.

She moaned as I squeezed her tiny chest.

She must have seen something in my face because she said,

“It’s okay, take your time. Don’t force yourself.” She said.

I nodded and went back to feeling her body.

I secretly liked her back then, and I was curious in her. I spied on her when she changed or showered, even when she masturbated once. I wanted her. But she took it too far, I wasn’t ready and she took it too far. All my attraction vanished that day.

But now. Now having her here again, having my chance to finally have her on my terms, and I am choking.

I’m scared.

It’s an irrelevant fear. We aren’t dumb kids anymore. We’ve grown up. We’ve matured. She’s even being nice to me. After everything I said to her. But still, I am shaking in fear.

She sighed and moved out from under me, grabbing her shirt.

“I ruined it didn’t I, ruined any chance for us.” She said holding her knees to her chest.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. That’s never happened before.”

“I wish I could go back, I wish I never did that to you.” She whimpered and buried her head into her knees.

I sighed and got up and started getting dressed. She looked at me, still only in her shirt. She looks at me the same way she looked at me that night. I freeze like a deer in the headlights. I’m scared of her.

She stands up and walks over to me. I back up to the wall. She has that look again. She moved her hand, and I flinched away from her. She doesn’t do anything but wipe a tear from my cheek.

“You don’t have to be scared of me anymore,” she said.

“I know.”

“I’m sorry I did this to you.”

“I know.”

“I’ll take you home.” She backed up.

“Wait, I can do this.” I held her in place by grabbing her wrist.

“No, Scar come on, it’s okay.”

“No, just give me a second. I am not going to let this fucking fear control me.”

“I’m not going to force you ever again.”

“Please, just let me try again.”

She shook her head no, even as she did that I kissed her. Holding her head in place. I can do this. I can love her still. She didn’t even rape me, she just got really, really, really close. Way too close for comfort.

“Stop it, I don’t want to anymore.” she pulled back.

I shoved her down on the bed and got on top of her. Then just like she did to me that night I pinned her arms above her head. She stared wide-eyed at me. I smashed our lips together. She moaned into my mouth.

If I can show Carmen who’s boss, then Maddison stands no chance.

I once again ripped her shirt off. She grabbed mine and lifted it over my head. I hesitated. She paused as if waiting for me to continue. I pinned her hands again.

“I’m in control now, not you.” I bit down on her neck.

“Oh god, fuck me.” she moaned.

So I happily obliged her. She was crying out so loud in pleasure that we got a noise complaint on us. I fucked her brains out. I took dominance over her. Every time she tried to take control, I always found a way to get it back.

Yes, it was exhausting, and yes I am extremely tired now. But fuck it was worth it. I may be an amateur lesbian, but this girl is a professional. She played me like a fiddle. She knew exactly where to touch me and how. I was cumming in seconds.

“Fucking hell,” I said breathlessly as I laid next to her in the bed.

“God, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that with you.”

“I think I got a pretty good picture, fuck, that was, wow.”

“Best sex ever?”

“Actually, yeah. I think that topped number one. Fuck.” I closed my eyes still trying to catch my breath.

“Wow, number one huh? That is certainly an ego boost I needed.”

“I’m sleepy now.” I yawned and rolled on to her, resting my head on her chest.

She wrapped her arms around me.

“Scar.”

“Hmm?” I could feel myself drifting off already.

“I still love you.”

My eyes shot open.

Shit.

“I want to be with you.” She held me tighter.

“Aren’t you moving to Cali?” I said.

“Come with me. I know you want to move there too. I could support you until you find a job.”

Holy shit. She is asking me to move with her, all expense paid. My chance to chase my dream and not wind up homeless. My dream is closer than ever before.

“Well?”

“This is all so sudden,” I admitted.

“Just think about it okay?”

“When are you moving?”

“Depends on how well the meeting goes tomorrow.”

“Hmm.”

“It’s not like it will be our first time living together. Plus, you said it yourself we are older now, more mature. We could work it out.”

“You just want me all to yourself.” I teased, kissing her softly on the chest.

“And I don’t want to share.” She squeezed me.

I giggled.

“Promise me you’ll consider?”

“Yeah, but don’t you think that we would be moving a bit fast? I mean we aren’t even dating yet.”

“Yet?” she smiled.

I pinched her side and she giggled.

“It may be fast for you, but I feel like I’ve been waiting for years just for this day to come. I never gave up hope that one day you and I would reunite like this.”

“You were always such a romantic.”

“I’m a writer, I can’t help it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

I snuggled deeper into her and fell asleep.