I swear, if I roll around one more time I will pee myself. At least I enjoyed my time at the party. Maybe next time I should keep in mind that swilling too much beer is not such a beneficial thing on my bladder. I try falling asleep, so I can spare one way to the bathroom. I nearly fall asleep, but one vision appears in my mind: what if I use the toilet in my dream? My eyes pop wide open in one second. No way I am going to risk an accident during the night. I would be ashamed of myself in that case. I shot out of my bed, only to find that one of my slippers is missing. Perfect. When I came back to my room, I was pretty wasted, threw all my clothes all over the place and eventually tossed the ones which were already laying around the floor. This was probably the time when my slipper was moved to its hideout. I drop to my knees and start to look for it. Crunched like this made my situation even worse but on the bright side, I turned out to be lucky: my stupid fluffy slipper was hiding under my bed. There is no time to waste, so I reach out for it and rush out of my room as quietly as possible, run down the corridor and enter the bathroom. In its current state, it resembles a battlefield which means that the girls from our floor came back already. If you examined the crime scene, you could find the whole menu of the party on the floor, paired with the nauseating smell creating a sickening atmosphere. These girls nearly made it to the toilets, but that is not enough. Thank God I did ballet, so my thighs are keen to hold me to avoid contacting the toilet seat. It feels so liberating to ease myself. Of course - no surprise - there is no toilet paper. Luckily after searching my pockets, I find some tissue in my so I won't need new underwear. I exit the booth and step to the sinks. While I am washing my hands, I can hear an agonizing sound behind me, and I can't help but smile. Some people are not so lucky to handle alcohol well so I might consider that my superpower.

Leaving the terrorized bathroom, I decide to hang around a bit in the community room. Everything feels so still in here, just as in a painting. Only the moths show a faint sign of life at this time of the night. Complete darkness is all I see first, but after a few minutes, my eyes adjust to the low light. Even if all the shades are closed, some of the moonlight shines through the cracks, giving the room a mysterious vibe. Tiredly I flop into the couch and lay my head on my forearm. There stood a floor lamp, - in which I bumped my head, causing it to wobble a bit - but because I prefer it to be dark, I leave it alone. The beer in me is losing its last effect on my brain, the only symptom left is a slight feeling of discomfort. The air here feels a bit fresher than in my room, which made my stay here longer. There is a reason that I don't like spending time in my dorm room lately. When Phil was paying me a lovely short visit, he felt a bit hot – let's say maybe it was too much cuddling – and wanted to open the window to let some air in. Poor bastard broke the handle. At that time a was really laughing, because his already blushed cheeks turned even redder, coming close to resemble a lobster. Unfortunately, since then nobody bothered to come up and fix it, although I asked the janitor repeatedly. And to add some more bad luck on my list, this fall is extremely hot. With no circulation of air, I'm literally boiling to death.

My eyes feel a bit heavy, but I just can't fall asleep. After resting here for a while, I hear Emily's voice from the corridor, accompanied by someone, I'm guessing it is a new piece of her collection. A small smile appears on my face 'She knows how to have a good time.' Even though Phil and I have been dating for almost half a year now, we still haven't slept together. I might sound old-school, but for me sleeping with someone means a lot and possibly I would like to wait until marriage with that. I really need to lay all my trust on that person to whom I give my body and mind and honestly, in spite of loving Phil, I still have the doubt that it is a one-way scenario. But Emily doesn't mind sleeping around. I don't care what she does, but for sure, I wouldn't be comfortable with her lifestyle.

I can hear their footsteps coming closer, and I can only hope that they will continue their way to Emily's room.

"Come on now," says Emily, still a bit drunk "my room is a mess, it will be just fine here."

No way. For many reasons, I know that she wants to do more than having a small talk - unfortunately for me. Just to be clear: I don't mind if she hooks up with as many guys as she likes, but please keep it private that no unfortunate soul will have to go through the trauma of seeing the unwanted, and have that image burned into their minds foreEwver.

“Em, I think we should go to your room, I don't want Stella to bust us."

In an instant, all sign of tiredness flew out of my eyes, and I felt my heart skipping a beat. That is Phil's voice. What the hell? What is he doing with her? I can feel a heatwave going through my body as they stumble in the room. They can't see me in the dark, so I try to breathe as quietly as possible. Emily acts seductively, humming some song. As gracefully as she can, she approaches the table in the middle and sits down on it. Holding up her

index finger she invites Phil to come to her and blows a kiss in his direction. The shadowy figure of Phil doesn't hesitate and walks right up to her. Now he is leaning over Emily, with one hand pinching her chin, pulling her face closer to his and returns the kiss he was given. Now she lays on her back while he is climbing on top of her, breathing heavily.

I cannot stand this private show made to torment me, so I switch the light on, and now I can make sure that it indeed is Phil cheating on me. In an instant, they look at my direction when his and my eyes meet.

"Oh, shit"' Come from both of their lips as they jump up and pull their coats in front of them together trying to hide like a child caught acting naughty. Speechless, I stand up and walk out of the room. As I leave, I hear Phil running after me crying my name. He follows me trying to find a good enough excuse for his actions. I can hear him babbling, but not one word seems to have a meaning. All that echoes in my mind now are how excited he was, his breathing and that kiss he gave Emily. As I reach my door, he grabs me by my hand, turns me around and looks straight into my eyes.

"Stella please, let me explain."

He makes a weak effort to have the chance to be granted exemption from being called a cheater and a betrayer.

I can't make myself listen to him. Looking at him right now makes my body shaking, my eyes start to fill up with tears, and I feel my heart beating faster and faster with each passing second. All he will say from this moment on will all be lies. He cannot deny the fact that he was going to have a one-night-stand, because I was there witnessing it personally. I can only hope, that they haven't done anything prior coming back to the dormitories.

"I don't think you can talk your way out of this." This is all I am able to force out of me.

"Please, we need to talk. I'm begging you."

"Just go and finish what you've started if that is what you truly desire." With that, I free myself from his grip and shut the door in his face. I'm still stalling in the middle of my room which now feels enormous but at the same time crushing. Feeling my legs giving up, I fall to my bed. I pull my blanket over me, trying to hide from the world and bury my face deep in my pillow as I burst into tears.