Thursday morning I was up early for our meditation and made in out before Ellie, Mom looked up with slight surprise then she smiled warmly.

“Morning Sweetling, sleep well?”

“Uh yeah actually. You?”

“Good.” She stretched into a pose I've never seen that had my head turning in question.

“Lumir?”

Straightening I focused on her. “Y-yeah?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Feeling-oh! I'm fine.” I glanced away.

“Are you sure? I can listen if it could help you.”

I stared at her took a deep breath. No more secrets. And before I knew it I was spilling everything to her. How hard this had been, how confused I was, these new thoughts, my worries for being accepted. And Xander.

“It's like… I had this huge secret that I thought was protecting me from you know myself, and then all these thoughts and worries rose up and I couldn't tell if I was ashamed of what you guys would have thought or what I thought about myself. But now I think I can handle it? I just have to go to school tell my best friends and Xander and hope it goes as well as last night did. Cross my fingers and hope they don’t leave.”

Some time during my rant Mom had moved next to me pulling me into a tight hug. A faint wetness on my forehead made me look up to see her crying.

“M-Mom?”

She wiped her eyes. “I'm sorry you had to go through this alone. I knew for so long and thought you wanted to tell us when you were ready but you were struggling. I should have just said something.”

“It's okay, Mom really. I'm not mad or anything… just glad you guys were so accepting. And hey it only gets easier from here, right?”

She gave a soft giggle kissing my temple. “For you I hope so.” She turned to the door as Ellie opened it with a loud drawn out yawn.

Ellie blinked when she saw us then quickly made her way to join in on the hug.

“Don't worry nothing bad will happen, I promise.” She whispered.

After we hugged it out, we did our morning meditations before doing the normal morning routine.

After my shower I found myself standing in front of my mirror, face twisted as my stomach rolled.

I thought this would be easier after telling my parents but now with the minutes counting down till I saw my friends my nerves were everywhere.

I quickly threw on some jeans, a plain blue shirt and pulled my sweatshirt on as I went down stairs much later then usual and saw Mom and Ellie waiting.

Mom handed me a foil covered plate.

“Don't want you forgetting these.”

“Thanks.” I said with a kiss to her cheek as I grabbed my bag she called me back.

“Your lunches, my Sweetlings.”

Taking it Ellie and I went to her van and I sank in my seat with a heavy sigh.

“Bro you need to relax. It'll go fine, what has you so worried anyway? Telling Jamie and Kamila?”

“Not really I have a feeling they know.”

“Then- oh! You're scared to tell, Xander?”

I groaned sinking deeper in the seat. “This can be the best or worst day of my life. He's a friend and I don't want him to leave because of this.” I said gesturing to myself.

“Lumir, listen to me.” I looked at her. “If he can't accept you for you then why cry over him? Why worry? You're perfect in every way, shape and form.”

I snorted. “You're just saying that.”

“I am because it's true. Now pull it together before, Kamila realizes something's up.”

I bolted upright our friends coming into view. As they climbed in Kamila ruffled my hair cooing as she "fixed" it.

“You should really let me do your hair Lumi, I'd enhance your already dazzling looks that you insist on hiding.”

“N-no thanks. Why not try Jamie? He has more hair than me anyway.”

Jamie laughed. “How about no, but I'll let you have my little sisters? Even trade?”

Kamila nodded her eyes already sparkling with idea's.

“Lumir, what's with the plate?” Jamie asked leaning against the chair rest.

“Oi! Sit back. Don’t make me stop this car! All seatbelts need to be on or so help me.” Ellie demanded shooting him an icy blue glare.

We all sat back seat belts on and when that was done I answered him.

“You'll see when we get to school and meet up with, Xander.”

Jamie pouted but sat back as Kamila launched into a conversation on Homecoming and all the planning that was still needed. I lost myself in the talk trying to relax.

But all to soon we were at school and my panic returned in waves as the car parked, then more so as Kamila and Jamie climbed out.

Ellie patted my hand. “You got this.”

I offered a stiff nod as we joined them.

And there standing at the main doors was Xander. Denim jacket over a simple red shirt, white jeans tucked into his black boots, his hair loose and dazzling with a few strands curling around his face.

He glanced up locking his gaze with mine, he smiled that smile- that if I was honest I was beginning to fall for.

Xander waved as we neared. “Morning guys. What do you have there, Lumir? New recipe?”

“I-I uh n-not exactly.” I looked at them fidgeting. “I wanted to talk to you guys…”

“Sure Lumi, go ahead.” Kamila said wrapping her arm over my shoulders.

I shrugged out of her hold. “N-not here…” I said looking at the few other early kids looking over at us.

Ellie took hold of my sleeve tugging me after her.

“Come on, I know a place.”

Her place of choice was the library. Steven and Lars looked up when we entered wishing us a good morning as we passed.

“Okay, bro they're all yours.” Ellie explained as she lead us to a back corner on the second floor.

Confused everyone took a seat at one of the many tables waiting.

Taking a deep breath I placed the plate down and revealed the strawberry cookies. Immediately Jamie and Kamila knew something was up but Xander stared confused so I explained.

“In my family when we have something important to say we make strawberry flavored things.”

He nodded as they waited so with a final deep breath I spoke.

“I-I'm g-gay!” I said quietly but loud enough that I knew they heard. When silence met my words I quickly added getting choked up. “A-and if that makes you uncomfortable I take no offense to you guys not wanting to be my friends anymore and I'm sorry-”

“Lumir.” Xander said softly cutting me off.

Looking up, my friends faces blurred with tears.

They stood up and almost exactly like last night with my parents they came and hugged me.

Kamila whispered reassuring words while Jamie patted my back and Xander ruffled my hair with a smile.

And all the stress from the last two weeks if not longer washed away and I let it. I cried, huge ugly tears running down my face.

Come to find out I was right, Kamila and Jamie did indeed know. Jamie guessed back when we were in middle school and Kamila at the start of high school when I accidentally said the football team looked hot when they worked out without shirts. Gosh I thought that was an inside thought.

Xander handed me some tissues and I took them gratefully.

“You okay, Lumi?” Kamila asked.

I chuckled. “Yeah, just glad this went peacefully.” I pointed at the cookies. “Those are for you guys.”

They thanked me and began eating. Xander stepped next to me.

“You have really good friends.”

I sniffled. “They're your friends too.” I glanced up at him. “Why were you so accepting? You haven't known me long and yet you didn't even blink an eye. Did you know already? D-did someone tell you?” My thoughts falling to Mindy with a sinking feeling.

Xander frowned trapping me with his stare.

“No one told me. And true I haven't known you long but it feels like I have.”

“But?”

“Lumir you're my friend. No matter what, you're you.”

A blush rose to my cheeks making him smile.

“And t-this doesn't make you uncomfortable?”

His hand lifted whipping a stray tear then he cupped my heated cheek, gaze soft yet I could tell he was seeing something I couldn't.

“No, it doesn't.”

Somewhere deep within me I felt hope, that maybe just maybe everything would work out.