He had known it would be awkward, but this was kinda ridiculous, why did he feel this uncomfortable? They knew each other, right? They had written with one another for over a year already, told each other secrets they hadn’t told any other person. Still, coming here was the scariest thing he had done in his life! The only reason he went through with it was because he managed to not think about the foolishness of the whole plan, just keep moving. Saving the money, booking his tickets, making sure everything at home was taken care of and getting on the plane. He had done all that while refusing to consider the consequences. Of course, they talked about him coming over, about what they would do. But even though he had a great imagination, he couldn’t seem to fathom this, it was too surreal, so he went along with the conversations about his trip while meanwhile he felt like he was living someone else’s life, talking about someone else’s trip.

And now he was confronted with his own cowardness in full force. Cause he couldn’t pretend this was happening to someone else. He was sitting on the couch of the man he called his friend and chat-lover for months now and who he had finally met for real only some 8 hours earlier.

The car trip from the airport was nice enough, even though it took them 6 hours to get home. They talked about his flight, about the beautiful scenery, the weather, music, the scenery, some more about his flight, more scenery, the cats, scenery, music…

They just cleared the leftover takeout Chinese food they got on route and sat themselves down on the couch and suddenly there was silence and Nick felt himself confronted with the awkwardness of meeting someone you know so well and at the same time know nothing about.

For example, how someone really looks like in real life, how he feels, moves, smells, sounds, the many facial expressions, his voice, his eyes when he speaks, or when he looks at him. It was for sure that the body of the man next to him, enticed him. He could feel it in his gut. But what about him?

At the airport he had felt himself nearing a panic attack, while he got hold of his luggage and went through customs. That one big moment was nearing, he would finally meet him, after all this time. What if it wasn’t what they both expected? He had thought about this repeatedly, they even talked about it. Try to not expect too much! Let’s just meet as friends! We won’t know what it will be like when we really meet, maybe we don’t find each other attractive at all. It could happen, right? Real life can’t be compared to online contact. We probably have a way to positive image of each other. We are only human! Don’t worry too much, it will be fun, even if we won’t want to be lovers in real life!

As he neared the meeting point, he felt his heartbeat reach a new unprecedented high velocity. And then their eyes met, and the opposite seemed to happen, his heart missed a beat, or maybe it was just because it went to fast anyway.

“Hey! Teo?” Why did it sound like he was asking him if he really was him? Damn, this must be the stupidest first meeting ever!

“Hey, Nick! Welcome in Canada! Did you have a good flight?”

Damn, they were looking at each other, seizing each other up now and Nick knew that at least he was screwed. Cause, Teo was Teo and while it was a completely new way of experiencing each other, it was also clear to him that at least he felt the attraction.

And now he was sitting next to him on that couch, wondering what was on his mind, if he regretted letting him come over. Maybe he was wondering how he would tell him to be friends instead. That it had been a nice experience online but not something to do in real life. He would be ok, right? He could do this. It’s not like he wanted a relationship with somebody that lived 5000km away. This would be for the best anyway, just stay friends, maybe a nice vacation once in a while…

“Want me to blow you?”

“Haha, what?”

What indeed, Nick felt his brain freeze in horror, why did he say that? Maybe the flight had made him brain damaged, should he sue them?

“At least you are the same in real life as online! But still, you surprised me!”

Teo sounded cheerful enough, although he didn’t seem to take him seriously, was that on purpose?

“You don’t want to?” Better go for it or die trying, right?

“What are you talking about? You have been on the road for what? 14 hours? 16 maybe? I want you to go to bed and rest up! And stop tempting me!”

“But I slept on the flight already, its way to early!”

“You look dead on your feet, just take some rest!’

“Jeez, thanks, but I always look like this, just say so already if you don’t find me attractive. I’m a big boy, I can handle it!”

Teo didn’t answer his rant, instead he suddenly was really close and before Nick could register what he was about to do, he kissed him. Just like that. A real kiss, with tongue and all. At least it was a really effective way of getting him to shut up. Even his brain stopped firing. All he could seem to be able to do was kiss Teo back, and the dread he had felt since agreeing to this stay, fell away, leaving him with a feeling of weightlessness.

The kiss was way too short, Nick wanted to continue that kiss till morning but Teo was ever the killjoy. As he held his face between his hands, he looked him straight in the eyes. “Please take some rest, there will be plenty of time to do all those other activities but right now we are both tired and as I still have some things to do, I suggest you turn in first, I will join you in a bit!”

He stood in the door opening and looked at his bed, where Nick was sound asleep. Damn, they really did it, they met in real life. It was crazy, right? Maybe the craziest thing he ever did. But he couldn’t help liking it at the same time, liking it a lot! Only time would tell, right?

TBC