In his decision to skip school and opt for a long weekend, Conner had expected Erik would want to watch movies or play games. Maybe they would even sit and have a long personal chat about their lives or 'feelings'.
What Conner had not expected was for his day alone with Erik to result in a reconnaissance mission.
Though it was a rather sunny afternoon, they had the curtains closed over the window above Conner’s desk to prevent glare on Erik’s laptop. They were both in sweats, one of Conner’s quilts shared between them and thrown over their shoulders as they sat on Conner’s bed.
They were surrounded by an assortment of snacks. They had never used the hotplate in their dorm and the mini fridge was only stocked with soda. Conner observed just how many bags of junk food they had accumulated, seriously reevaluating his eating habits.
“Are you sure it’s better for them to be doing this during the day?” Conner asked, eyeing Erik.
Erik was fixated on the live recording. It was being transmitted from an action camera that Anthony had hidden in the strap of his bag. Conner watched tensely as unknowing students walked by. Of course, no one suspected anything, but Conner felt wary of everyone, as if they were looking right at him.
Erik didn’t take his eyes off the screen as he said, “It’s less dangerous than at night. There are more people to cover them, teachers are used to students walking through the halls, they don’t have to be quiet.”
“What about security?” Conner asked, “People are bound to be patrolling the entrances, right?”
“They’ll use the air-ducts. C’mon, we went over all this last night.” Erik smiled down at Conner, giving him a light nudge. “You’re so tense. Relax.”
Conner blushed, looking down at his hands. “I don’t want them to get in trouble.”
Erik gave him a sympathetic look. “It won’t be like last time.”
Conner thought about how much had gone wrong the night they snuck out to investigate the shed. He hoped Erik was right and that today would be different.
Erik gave his shoulder a small slap to get his attention, saying, “Alright, here we go.”
They watched as Anthony followed Jannet into a supply closet, climbing onto boxes and shelves until they reached the ceiling vent. “Can you hear me?” Anthony asked into his earpiece, his voice having a small static after-tone.
“Yup,” Erik said, pressing a button on his earphones as he spoke, “you’re good to go.”
Anthony took tools out of his bag, unscrewing the vent cover. He hoisted Jannet up into it before pulling himself through after her. They shuffled on their stomachs through the vents. Anthony’s phone was in his hand, outlining the route they were taking to the science department.
Conner held his breath.
After fifteen minutes—though Conner would argue it was eternity—Anthony and Jannet exited. They climbed down more shelves, landing on their feet in another small closet.
They opened the door into what had once been the main science hallway, a collective gasp echoing between the four of them.
“Holy shit,” Anthony breathed, panning the camera around the hall.
It was filled with debris; windows were shattered, ceiling tiles hanging haphazardly above. The damage of the explosion was everywhere, the sound of shuffling glass shards constant as Jannet and Anthony advanced. “It’s like another world, I hardly recognize it,” Anthony breathed.
Anthony's words, coupled with what he was seeing on the screen, instilled a kind of shock within Conner.
Conner had a hand over his mouth, his throat tight. He had spent most of his time at school in that corridor, walking through it every Monday morning for environmental club. “Who would have done this?” Conner asked, his voice cracking as he felt his eyes sting. For a moment it was hard to breathe-people could have died.
Erik placed his hand beside Conner’s. Conner felt himself flinch as Erik stroked a single finger against the side of his hand. Though it was meant to be a minute gesture of comfort, Conner felt the electricity spark through his nerves.
He heard Erik’s voice deepen, saying, “I know it’s horrible…but, try to remember that no one was hurt; the building was empty.” They locked eyes, Erik looking at Conner carefully as he said, “You’re safe.”
Before Conner could say or do anything, Erik pulled his hand away, his eyes returning to the monitor.
Conner’s attention quickly snapped to the screen, his heart painful and his muscles tight.
As their eyes followed Anthony and Jannet, walking through the demolished science building, he felt the suspense mounting. Every time they checked a classroom or walked around the corner, Conner felt a jolt of nervousness shiver through his body.
It was like they were watching a horror movie. Conner briefly wondered if the 'horror-movie-date' rules applied here, and his fear could be an excuse to snuggle into Erik.
He quickly dismissed the idea as Anthony said, “It’s here guys, we found it.”
Conner forgot his desires altogether and focused on Anthony and Jannet.
Though the room sign had been burned to the point it was illegible, Conner, too, recognized the layout of the computer lab. The inside of the room was black and charred, the computers melted, and exposed circuitry completely fried.
“Whoa, look at it,” Jannet said as she appeared in front of Anthony. She made her way over to the whiteboard, which was burned and cracked in a chemical pattern. “It’s so much bigger than I expected,” she said, looking up at the intricate design of numbers.
Anthony gently pushed her aside. “Here, I’ll send you guys a proper picture,” he said, speaking to Erik and Conner.
Erik’s face was intense as he opened the picture.
“The numbers are hard to make out with the scorch marks,” Erik muttered, “but I think they’re legible enough…”
Conner leaned over Erik, pressing the push-to-talk button on Erik’s microphone. “Anthony, can you take a few pictures really close up? That way we can make out the numbers more…clear…ly…” Conner’s voice trailed off, sounding foreign to him as he realized he was practically in Erik’s lap, their faces inches from each other.
“Sure, no problem,” Anthony said, oblivious to Conner and Erik’s intimate proximity.
Conner felt his brows twitch as looked at Erik’s face, letting go of Erik's headphones. It hurt Conner to look at him; his fiery brown eyes, the birthmark at the corner of his mouth... His eyes rested on Erik’s lips, his heart pounding. Could he do it? Could Conner find the courage to lean in and kiss him; or at least tell Erik that he wanted to?
‘I want to kiss you’, Conner thought, practicing the words in his head. ‘I’m scared and confused, and I want to kiss you’.
“By the way,” Anthony just wouldn’t shut up, “I don’t think this room was the origin of the explosion. It looks like just fire damage. We’re going to keep looking around. I’ll take more pictures—”
Erik closed the laptop, the room instantly becoming dim. He leaned back slightly as he looked at Conner, the quilt sliding off them and onto the bed. He was still and silent, simply waiting for Conner to do or say something.
Conner blinked at him, frozen. Why was he such a coward? When they’d come home from the infirmary he would have done it, would have kissed him. Had that been the drugs? The adrenaline?
“You looked like you wanted to say something,” Erik said, his voice breaking the tension.
Conner shook his head, looking away. “Not really,” he whispered. He had never felt so conflicted. Never had there been this kind of opportunity to finally admit to Erik that he liked him; a chance to finally know if Erik could maybe feel the same.
Conner couldn’t risk the hurt of rejection.
Erik sat up, looking down at Conner. “Are you sure?” he asked, a hand going under Conner’s chin to lift his face and look at him.
He’d done that before.
There was a slight smile playing on his lips as his thumb moved over Conner’s jawline. “You have so many freckles,” Erik whispered, smirking slightly.
Conner sucked in a breath, placing a hand on Erik’s wrist. Whatever Conner thought of saying, he didn’t have time.
There was a knock on the door.
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