The fountains mingle with the river, and the rivers with the ocean;

The winds of heaven mix forever, with a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single, all things by a law divine;

In another's being mingle;

Why not I with thine?

- Love’s Philosophy by Percy Bysshe Shelley

God, what was up with me today? 

Kyle falls back on the bed, exhausted from the flood of emotions that had hammered him while he worked. 

I’ve never felt like that about a girl, not once… am I gay? ...Bi? I definitely liked the girls I dated, right? And I’ve never really thought about guys like that before either...

He closes his eyes, running his hand through his bright blonde hair. Its soft curls fall away from his face and onto the simple white pillowcase. 

Do I… like guys? Or just him?

He turns onto his side and pulls his knee up to his chest, pulling out his phone. 

Already so late… Dinner took too long, I still suck at cooking even after almost a year... I’ll have to get up early too, head back down to GCS so Jim can pick me up, I don’t have time to be dwelling on shit like this. 

He drops his phone back onto the bed, letting out a sigh into his pillow. A few minutes pass as he lays unmoving, attempting to convince himself that sleep is on its way.

Dammit, why am I... like this? What’s wrong with you, body?!?

He angrily grabs his phone back off the sheet and unlocks the screen, no longer able to ignore the rapidly expanding discomfort in his boxers. He mutters quietly to himself while typing in a query to the search engine.

I’ll just… check some videos out real quick, a learning experience right? Hah, it’ll probably turn me off right away to watch two guys, anyway. Then I’ll be done with all this crazy shit.