Wednesday already. Sigh. At least the day is starting out on a good foot. So I got a class monitor. She is young, maybe 22, 23 tops. Fresh out of college. I can tell. She is the shy type. She’s actually pretty cute, once you get over her bad fashion taste.

She is very petite, short, only like 5'1 or 5'3 tall. I feel like if someone hugged her they would break her in half. She has a small face, pointed chin. Big blue eyes, which are hidden by her hipster style glasses. Tiny, thin, lips. She looks like a bird or something, like a parakeet, or a like a chickadee. She just has the reclusive, could fly away at any moment, type of aura around her.

Her hair is black, tied back into a French braid. She has small ears. Her skin, god her skin, someone needs to show this girl a tanning bed stat. She is pale! Blinding pale, like paper pale. She dresses like a grandma going to feed the birds on Sunday, or a Sunday school teacher who was raised on a farm and thinks that dinosaurs are only one day younger than man because God made them.

I’m talking long skirt that goes to her ankles. High rise socks and buckle shoes. Long sleeve collared shirt covered by a blue jean vest. A cross necklace and, to top off the horrendous look, a fucking satchel! My whole body has a reaction when I see her, I cringe away as if her horrible fashion taste was contagious.

“My name is Dinah Berger.” She introduces herself to me. She is so quiet that I have to strain and hear her.

“Right, I’m Scarlet Ashton or Ms. A. Whichever you prefer. I assume you are my new class monitor?” I ask.

She gives a tight nod.

“I see, well you can sit wherever you like,” I say.

She chooses to sit just one desk in front of the desk Maddison usually sits at. I can feel myself purse my lips. This might be a problem.

Dinah is definitely one of those girls I would make fun of behind their back when I was in high school. She makes it too easy. The sad part is, she is probably smoking hot, too bad she dresses like someone’s second cousin twice removed. I definitely need to give this girl some pointers because damn, she makes me wonder if we are in the 90's again. I just want to know who hurt her and how I can help. Because the poor thing shrinks in on herself, even more, when the first bell rings.

The day drowns on, per usual. Maddison doesn’t bother to come to bother me during lunch. Instead, E.J does. He invites me to the lunchbox, which is a sandwich shop down the street.

“Wanna come?” I ask Dinah who was pulling out a PB&J sandwich from her bag.

She eyes us, probably wondering if there is some type of catch, and there certainly is. I only want her to come for two reasons, one to give her some pointers because, damn, every time I look at her I cringe. Two, so I won’t have to be alone with E.J.

“No thank you.” She says.

“Come on, I’m sure those sandwiches are better than yours, plus I’ll give you a ride if you want.” I push.

“I can pay.” E.J. shrugs.

No way she can refuse now.

“Okay.” She forces a friendly smile, but I can tell she would rather be alone with her soggy sandwich.

We all ride in my car, E.J sits in the back.

“Did you get freaky back here?” He laughs holding up a shirt from the back.

“No, ass. I just keep extra clothes back there just in case. You never know when you'll have a fashion emergency.” I roll my eyes.

“Sure, whatever you say Scar.” He gives me a knowing look.

I laugh.

We pull up and Dinah is the first out of the car. I can tell she is extremely uncomfortable. We walk into our usual booth and order our usual, Dinah takes her time deciding but ultimately decides to get a plain ham sandwich.

“So, you still single?” E.J. asks.

“Yes, not that it’s your business, I’m still experimenting.” I chuckle.

“Hey, I can wait for you.” He winked at me.

I roll my eyes at him.

“Can you believe this guy?” I joke with Dinah.

She forces a smile but says nothing.

“So, you promised me we'd catch up.” He says.

“Okay, let's do a quick recap. I broke up with you, got plastered, my old best friend, who I disowned for reasons, came to save me. We made up and reconnected in more ways than one, then I went home. Got plastered, which forced an intervention from my friends and my mom, ugh that was a mess. I used the rest of the week to get myself together. Also, I hooked up with some random girl name Gracey. Bleh!" I stuck out my tongue.

“What? She didn’t meet Scarlet standards?” he chuckled.

“Hell no, too sloppy. Don’t get me wrong I can get down with hot sloppy sex, but there is a point when it is too much.”

I even got a soft chuckle from Dinah that time. Progress.

“Okay, so with your new found freedom what do you plan to do?”

“Again none of your business, but I’m just getting started baby, I have a lot more fun in mind.”

“As expected.” He gives me a soft smile.

“But enough about me, Dinah what about you?” I turn the conversation.

“Huh?”

“Any hotties in waiting? Are you single?” I ask.

“Are you asking.” She says cheekily.

Gasps. She has a personality. And a cheeky one at that. There is more than hope. I can taint her yet.

“Maybe.” I playfully nudge her.

“Sorry to disappoint but I’m single and plan to stay that way. I am taking some time to devote myself to my faith and my work.” She says.

Yuck. Not if I can help it.

“Come on a hottie like you? You can’t deprive the world of this treasure that’s just cruel.” I pout.

E.J laughs and then gets up to go to the bathroom.

“Don’t flatter me. I’m anything but hot.” She says.

Eureka! I found the issue and my way in.

“Please! Maybe if you didn’t hide behind this Sunday school get up. You need a tan, and to work on your make-up skills but that is not the issue. The issue is your fashion taste. It is like you are wearing a trash bag, I can’t see any of your beautiful body. Ditch the grandma clothes and find something more your size.”

She looks at her clothes and then frowns. Oops, might have gone too far.

“This is my favorite vest.” She says more to herself.

“Let me get my hands on you and baby you’ll be turning all types of heads.”

She looked at my clothes and frowned. Seeing as I had the sexy teacher vibe going on.

“But won’t that be distracting for the students?” she asks.

“Please, they have better things to worry and think about than what a teacher is wearing.” I snort.

“I’ll think about it.” She sighs.

“Oh I can see it, you are a secret babe, I just know it. You can't fool me with these clothes.”

She smiles and blushes but goes back to eating as E.J comes back.

“What’d I miss?”

“Just a little girl talk, no boys allowed.” I stuck out my tongue.

He laughed and threw a chip at me. I laughed and threw it back.

On our way back, as I was walking back into the building I saw Maddison. She was with Layla, they were by themselves. Hiding away from prying eyes, but not from anyone walking into the school.

Layla leaned in and kissed Maddison, She kissed back.

I swallowed my drink too quickly and started choking on it. E.J.stopped walking and looked at me.

“You okay?” he asked.

Maddison looks over to the commotion and sees me. Her eyes go wide. I narrow my eyes at her. 

What the hell!? The actual fuck!?

“I’ll catch up, go on ahead,” I say to both Dinah and E.J. they shrug and go inside.

She made this whole big deal about me being exclusive and she, she! What a fucker! Little Tease! Fucking bitch! Ugh!

I march over to them and cross my arms.

“No PDA, you two need to get inside before I give you detention.” I hiss.

“Come on Ms. A, don’t be that way.” She says.

“Inside,” I growl.

“Come on Maddy,” Layla says, slightly embarrassed.

Maddison gives me a look that says, really? Then she walks away with Layla, hand in hand.

I feel sick. I can feel my insides knot into a tight ball. I clench my fist. What a fucking asshole. Ugh! Fuck her! Damn her! Ahh!

I stomp back inside and to my classroom, sitting down in my desk with a humph. Why does it hurt so bad? I feel like she stabbed me in the back. I am breathing so hard my head is ringing. Fuck, I’m crying, for that little tease. Damn her. What is going on with me? Get it together, she is just a fuck toy.

“You okay?” Dinah asks.

“Yep, just great.” I force a laugh and wipe my tears.

“You sure?”

“Yes.” I hiss.

“Okay.” She frowns.

Why would she do that to me? We were going good, we even fucked yesterday. What did I do? Was it something I said? Something I did? Am I not good enough? Do I not satisfy her? What the fuck?! Fucking hell. Now I feel like shit. No ones ever made me feel like this before. 

No one.

The day drags on even slower. When the final class roles around, Maddison walks over to me just before the class starts.

“We okay?” she whispers, standing close.

“Please, take your seat, Maddison.” I snap at her.

She frowns but does as she is told.

I teach the class as usual and completely ignore Maddison. When class is over, she takes her time, per usual, but now she has to compete with Dinah who is equally as slow to gather her things.

“Great first day huh? Got any pointers for me?” I sit on the desk Dinah is sitting at.

“Well, I would say try being more interactive, instead of answering the questions for them, let them answer it. Let them think about it and come up with their own conclusions, then lead them from there,” she says.

“Yeah? Okay. Thanks. What about you, why aren’t you a teacher?”

“I want to be, but the cards aren’t in my favor right now. So, I got the monitor job.” She sighs.

“Damn that sucks, I bet you’d be a great teacher,” I smirk.

She blushes again.

I have a feeling her faith isn’t that strong.

“Ms. A. can I talk to you, alone,” Maddison says.

I sigh and get off of Dinah’s desk.

“You should call me, we should hang out sometime.” I scribble my number down and hand it to Dinah. She takes it and smiles at me, getting up and slowly leaves. She looks at me one last time before she leaves, I wink at her. She blushes.

“What’s your problem!?” Maddison hisses once Dinah is gone.

“My problem! What’s your problem!? You are the one making a big deal about me being exclusive and then you do that! What the fuck!?”

“Oh look who’s the big baby now. You were the one saying we should have other relationships that I should “experience my childhood”. She kissed me out of nowhere what the hell was I supposed to do? You are the one that said this was just sex, so why do you care if I have a girlfriend?”

“I don’t!” I shout.

“Then there is no problem, right?” she raised an eyebrow.

I clenched my fist. What a bitch. Ugh, what the fuck? Why am I making a big deal out of this? She’s right, I did say all those things. Fucking hell.

“Whatever.” I grab my stuff to leave.

She grabs my wrist to stop me.

“Are you getting feelings for me?” she asks outright.

“W-what. No. psh. Please. I don’t get feelings for anyone, you’re no exception. So stop fooling yourself.” I spat yanking my wrist free and walking towards the door.

“Then what’s the problem?” She chases after me.

“There is no problem.”

“Really because it feels like there is.” She follows me into the hall, they are empty now.

“Nope, we are good. I got the message, sex, and sex only.” I whisper as we speed walk down the hall.

“Okay then, so we are good?” She clarifies.

“Yes, we are great!” I whirl on her. “You can fuck and be with who you want, and I’ll fuck and be with who I want. Simple as that.”

“Okay, good.” She huffs, her eyes watered over.

“Great.” I stomp away.

When I get home I slam the door shut behind me and run to my bed and scream into a pillow. Why do I feel like this? I’ve never felt like this before, why? What is going on with me? Do I actually have feelings for her? I’ve never gotten feelings for anyone. 

Never.

She’s my student, she’s only 16, even if I do have feelings, which I don’t! I can’t, she’s off limits.

I feel like some loser in high school all over again. Just trying to keep up with the world around me. Why am I getting jealous of some high school girl? Ugh! Fucking Layla, and her fucking basic bitch face. What does she have that I don’t?

Is it because I’m too old?

*knock, knock, knock*

I groan and drag myself out of bed, wiping my tears. When I open the door Maddison is standing there with her hoodie up. She walks past me and comes in.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, shutting the door.

“Last I checked you said I could come over whenever I want.” She goes to my room.

I sigh and follow after her. As if she hasn’t done enough damage today.

“I’m not in the mood,” I say crossing my arms.

She grabs me by my shirt and yanks me down and kisses me. My heart leaps into my throat. I can’t help but close my eyes and deepen the kiss. She moves to pull back but I hold her in place and kiss her again.

“What about now?” she pulls back and takes her hoodie off, she has no shirt underneath.

I shrug and avert my gaze to the floor.

“Did I really hurt your feelings that bad?” she smirks.

“Shut up.” I snap.

“I was just trying to prove a point.” She finally admits.

“What?”

“I told you, I can have whoever I want. I was trying to prove my point.”

“Well, point proven, congrats.”

“I was also trying to prove a different point.” She walks closer to me.

I back up to the wall.

“That I am an exception, I am not just another name.”

“But you aren’t. You’re not special.” I spat.

“Really, then why were you crying?”

“I wasn’t!”

She walks up to me and wipes a stray tear from my cheek.

I feel vulnerable like she can control me with a simple touch. Our eyes are locked in an unrelenting battle. I can’t admit that she might be right, not just because of my pride, but because of what it would mean if she is right. I can’t fucking fall in love with a minor, that’s sick and illegal!

“Fine, be that way.” She snaps and pulls back, grabbing her hoodie.

I wrap my arms around her from behind, forcing her to stay.

I kiss my way up her neck, she shudders. I force her to drop her hoodie and then ease her down on to the bed.

“Say it, I want to hear you say it.” She says, her hands cupping my face.

I shake my head no, before kissing her again.

“Say it.” She pushes me off.

“No.”

“If you want me, you have to say it.” She sits up.

“I can’t.” I whimper.

“Why not?” she demands.

“Because I can’t be in love with a fucking kid!”

“I’m not a kid!”

“Yes, you are!”

She shakes her head, her own tears falling now. She grabs her hoodie and puts it back on.

“Maddison please, stay,” I beg.

“What are we? I need to know!” she turns to me.

“I don’t know! Fucking hell. Can’t we just agree that we will make no promises of each other? That we can just be together and enjoy each other, please.”

“Fine. I guess this really is just sex then.” She says in a monotone voice, wiping her own tears.

I grab her and pull her into my arms. She is so soft. So warm. I pull her down to the bed and just cuddle with her. She snuggles into me, and I pet her head. We lay like this until I fall asleep, and when I wake up later, she’s gone.