I turn with a smile on my face as my father makes his way down the steps of my childhood home.

I brush the strand of hair from my face walking toward the porch. "Hello Father" he embraces me into a tight hug. I close my eyes as I hug him in return.

He begins to sway me back and forth in the hug, "Oh Taylor, how I missed you my child."

"I missed you too daddy" I quickly squeeze and then pull away from the hug looking up at him.

He smiles down at me but I do notice a small tear in the corner of his eye. "You've grown so much since I last saw you, I hardly even recognized you when you got out of the car."

I laugh a bit, "Well you did send me away when I was eight, and I'm 18 now so..."

His beaming smile instantly turns to a frown as the words escape me. I look off toward the garden in the back yard, knowing that this is not the time to upset him.

"I sent you away only because I love you Taylor. I wanted something better for you. Forgive me, but let us try and forget about the time passed and focus on the future." I nod agreeing with him, the sadness lingering even as he tries to brighten the mood.

"Come on in the house. Your room is exactly how you left it, well other than the fact that I had a larger bed installed." He chuckles a bit walking up the steps and on to the porch. Each step I take across the porch is followed by a loud creak.

As I step through the door I am instantly taken aback by the familiar smell of the home. The aroma from the vanilla candle burning in the corner makes it feel like it was only yesterday when I left. I laugh a bit to myself, my father always hated those vanilla candles but it was my mother's favorite so he tolerated it. I'm glad to know he still thinks of her, I know I do.

"Dad I'm going to head on to bed if that's okay." I flash a smile his way waiting for his response.

He turns to look at me, returning the smile. "Yes, of course" he walks over kissing me on the forehead.

"I'm sure you had a long day." He take a step back as I begin to walk up the stairs.

He then calls up to me, "Taylor?"

"Yes dad?" I look down at him, the sadness has returned and it sweeps through like a plague.

He clears his throat with a bit of a grumble, "I'm sorry you weren't able to come straight home when you got into town the other day. I..." He pauses looking up to the closed bedroom door to the left of the staircase.

"Well, I just wasn't ready. Kade's death took us all by surprise and I wasn't sure if I could face you after all these years." He shuts his eyes as a few tears slide down his cheeks, "You understand don't you?"

I shoot a half smile back to him. I hold my breath for a moment trying to hold back the flood of tears. "Dad, it's fine. Auntie Claire enjoyed the company for a few days."

I try and control my breathing the tears begin to leak from my eyes with every passing second. "We will talk tomorrow, okay? I really am tired. Goodnight!" I quickly round the corner upstairs.

The tears are now streaming down my face. I walk so fast to my room I am at a near-run. When I reach my bedroom at the end of the hall I shut the door behind me turning the lock until it makes the familiar -click-.

I lean my back against the door sliding down into the floor. I begin to sob uncontrollably. My brother's death is something I had not dealt with yet and honestly this wasn't a good time.

Why is it that even in my childhood home I feel so alone. First mother, now Kade. I stand up walking to the window next to my bed. Staring off into the distance and then looking down into the yard. Closing my eyes tightly and sliding the glass open. I could end this nightmare for myself right now. I stare at the open window. One step and it's all over.

No, that would be the easy way out, the cowards way. I am so much stronger than that. I wipe the tears from my face as I close the window. Things are tough now, but they will get better. Plopping down onto the bed, laying back as I rub my tired eyes.

I can do this and I will make my father proud.

But first, I need to get some rest.

I lay my head back on the pillow. Shutting my eyes as sleep overcomes me.