-Rhea-
It's been a day since I have arrived. So far, so good. I have not caught Bethany with any weed, nor have I noticed any pothead patterns.
I am sitting on the couch watching some food program, when Bethany comes in.
"Here you go." Bethany hands me some five dollar bills and comes and sits next to me on the couch.
"Whoa, why are you giving me this?" I say looking at the 3 fives in my hands. I seriously think she's just crazy if she's not doing drugs.
"Your allowance?" she asks, as though it is something I should have known.
"I have an allowance?!" I ask in utter disbelief .
"Yes my dear, but you can't live off of an allowance, so I found some jobs for you that are hiring. I put the applications on your bed top. Also, you start summer school tomorrow if you forgot. And school shouldn't get too mixed up with your job, because you got put into a night schedule."
"They schooling at night here?" I ask. I always thought night school was for colleges and such.
"This year they do, yes. There were too many people needing to improve, so they made a six pm to ten pm section for kids who need credit recovery."
"Cool." I said for this is indeed, very, cool. I've never been a fan of waking up in the morning, but I stay up really late. My psychiatrist says it's from depression, and prescribed sleeping pills, but they never work. All they do is make me dizzy and even more tired in the morning.
"Hey, you can go on a walk if you would like." Bethany says after a few minutes of silence.
"Oh, okay." I smile at her. Ha, I knew it. She's already getting sick of me.
"I thought that's what you would say. Your profile said that you wanted to be a meteorologist. So I thought you would like to see the storm coming in. I packed you a backpack just In case you needed anything, it's on the kitchen counter by the door." She gestures to the kitchen doorway. "I'm sorry for relying on your foster profile to find out your interests. But hopefully I will learn more about you, as I get to hang out with you."
"Thank you" I tell her as I get up off of the couch. I wonder why she's being overly nice. It's alarming. I almost feel bad for thinking she's getting sick of me. But I know she eventually will. They all do.
"Don't thank me." She laughs. "I'm just doing what any normal person would do."
That's not normal. I think as I turn around to walk into the kitchen.
"Oh! And remember that you have a therapy appointment at four!" Bethany shouts from the other room.
"Okay!" I shout back.
I grab the backpack, which consists of an umbrella, snacks , flavored water, and my wallet. Sarah must've dropped this bag and my wallet off before I came here. She usually does that, along with my clothes, but I don't think she dropped off my clothes this time . Probably because she knew Bethany had a surplus of clothes for me already.
I head outside and examine the sky. I've been interested in weather for a while now. It doesn't make much sense due to the fact that I'm afraid of extreme weather killing me, but the way the clouds look and the color of the sky, it's breathtaking. Weather is phenomenal. I'm going to school for meteorology after I graduate high school. I'm making sure of it. It's the only thing I can push myself further with.
I head outside to see dark clouds to the west and perfectly clear skies to the east. The dark clouds look like something from the movies. They are rolling over towards me. I continue walking toward the storm . I can feel my heartbeat getting stronger. I try to relax by reminding myself that the storms at least twenty minutes away. Something draws me to these clouds. I don't know what. Maybe it's the fact that they are so unpredictable, but so predictable at the same time. Maybe it's the longing to be as free as those clouds. Maybe it's because I can always go back to the clouds. There is always a cloud somewhere. There is safety, in knowing these clouds cannot disappear forever.
I start walking back to Bethany's as it starts to sprinkle. I get home and shut the open windows. I see Bethany typing away furiously on her laptop. Presumably working on her research. She is a botanist. Which is funny, due to the fact the she doesn't own a single plant.
I go sit in my bed. I stare at the things that will never be mine. The beautiful room, the clothes, this bed. I wonder how many people have had these things before me. I wonder how many foster girls were told that they will always be loved. That they are going to spend the rest of their lives happy.
I wonder how many people believed that this will be the place that they will stay.
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