I fumble with the keys as I stand outside the door to my house. I’m not only fumbling because I’m drunk but also because I have so many keys you’d think I was valet parking.
I press my face against the glass, fogging up a small area with my hot breath. I try to look inside to see if my mom is home, but she’s never home. She’s out with Joey or Randy or some white trash man with bad taste in women.
I fumble some more with the keys until I end up dropping them and they fall on the ground. Fuck. I’m too wasted for this shit.
I get down on my hands and knees to search for them but I think these keys are playing games with me.
Sweat starts to pool on my forehead and I take a break from the scavenger hunt and sit on the steps debating if I should throw myself down them or not.
I wonder how soon Dex will come back from that party. He didn’t seem like he was planning to leave anytime soon though. I would text him, but of course my phones dead.
My mom pulls into the driveway and I hear Mariah Carey blasting from her car. She almost hits the damn house she’s driving so recklessly.
She stumbles out of the car sporting the skankiest outfit I have ever seen. I’ve seen the biggest whores at school cover up more skin than this spawn of satin I call Mom.
“Jeez Jacob is that you?” She’s yelling, she’s always drunk and yelling. “You scared the shit out of me, what the fuck are you doing out here sitting on the steps? Are you bird watching?”
“Yes, mom I’m bird watching at 1 am,”
“You were always such a weird kid,” She pushes past me.
She unlocks the door with her set of keys.
It’s my turn to push past her now.
“So where were you anyway? With Randy?”
“Who the hell is Randy?” She collapses on the floor.
It’s safe to know she was out driving like this. Not.
She pats the floor beside her, gesturing me to sit down with her. I hesitate for a second, but she looks sad so I do it anyway.
I honestly kind of hate my mom. I’m not sure what happened to her but ever since her and my dad got that divorce she’s been a mess. It’s her fault they got a divorce, my dad should be the mess not her. She has no right to act like a mess, she screwed up our whole family, she doesn’t get to keep screwing shit up. It’s not fair that I must be the parent and she’s suddenly, the child.
She comes home drunk from being out with some random man that I don’t know but I want to kill anyway. She never cooks dinner anymore, she’s never around, she’s constantly drinking… I don’t think I’ve seen her sober in three months.
My dad was kind of a mess though too, he really loved my mom. He’s always been faithful to her and treated her good, I don’t understand why she would do something like this to him. Though, I could say the same about Jade. Damn it, I need to get that girl out of my head. She’s a bitch and so is my mom.
My dad did everything for her and she was having an affair for a year. She was having an affair with my dad’s boss. He had to quit his job because he couldn’t handle working with the man who was having sex with his wife, and who could blame him? I hated her so much for it, and so I went to live with my dad in L.A for the year, but I had to come back, my life is here.
Dex took everything kind of hard but tries not to show it. He tries to act like he is fine with everything but I know he hates her too. We all do.
“Jacob,” She say, her eyes filling with tears.
I don’t want to have this conversation right now. Not now, not ever.
“Jacob, please,” She’s sobbing. There’s nothing I love more than chatting with a drunk and crying grown ass woman. “I know I messed up, I messed up really bad.”
I don’t want to listen to this.
“Yeah, you did.”
“I tried to explain it to your father but he doesn’t understand,” She starts to cry loudly. Louder than I’ve ever heard her cry. She sounds like she’s running out of air to breathe. “No one listens to me, they all think I’m some whore.”
I want to tell her that she is a whore and a bitch and everything else nasty that my dad calls her. For some reason, I don’t though. I’m usually quite mean to her when I see her, but I’ve never seen her cry since the divorce.
“It wasn’t my fault what happened,” She starts.
I get up and start to walk upstairs.
She calls after me in a pleading voice, like she is begging me to just listen and talk with her. But I begged her to stop cheating on dad and she never did that for me.
I walk up the stairs, leaving her at the bottom of them with a tear stained face and a torn-up heart.
I’m so drunk I trip over my PlayStation controller and fall right on my ass. I let out a swear word and rub my left ass cheek to make it feel better.
I get up and look in my closet for a pair of joggers and a sweater to pass out in. I come across Jade’s jacket, I never got the chance to give it back to her.
I should burn it. Ha.
I don’t burn it though, because I’m a little bitch. Instead I pull it out of the closet and smell it, but the smell of her is gone. It’s been in here for about a year now.
The jacket is cute. It’s a dark blue denim jacket with leather sleeves. It looks like it might have been expensive, but it was her fault for leaving it here after what she did. She must have known she was never going to get it back. I always thought of maybe giving it to Kelly to give to her, but then I figure if she wants it back she can get it herself.
I put the jacket away again even though the idea to burn it is still floating around my mind, and put on a pair of sweats and forget about the sweater.
I plug my phone into the wall to see that I have three missed calls from Dex. What could this idiot possibly want from me right now? Is he drunk and can’t find his way home?
I call him back to make sure he’s alright.
“Dex?”
“Jacob?”
“Yeah, can you here me?”
“Yeah, I can hear you. Can you hear me?”
“Yeah, you called?”
“Yeah, I did,” He pauses.
“Dex?” I say to make sure he’s still there.
“Jacob? Can you hear me?”
“DEX WHY DID YOU CALL ME THREE TIMES?”
“Oh yes,” He sounds so wasted. “Guess who just showed up as soon as you left?”
“Who?”
“Guess.”
“Dex fucking tell me,” I’m getting so annoyed.
“Jade,” He says. “And Kelly.”
I hang up the phone.
There’s no way I’m going back to that party… is what I’m telling myself as I put on my jacket. I’m already too drunk and am going to do something stupid.
I’m walking down the stairs now. Someone should stop me, but I’ve already got the house keys in my hand and am slipping on my Jordan’s.
“Bye mom,” I call into the dark house, hoping maybe she’ll stop me. Though I know she’s the last person who would ever try to stop me from going out.
I walk outside, locking the door behind me. I turn around to see her car isn’t in the driveway, which means she’s out somewhere drunk driving again.
Fuck.
I can’t call the police, even though I should. All I can do it pray that she comes home without hurting anyone or herself.
Unlike my mom, I walk to get back to the party. It’s not like it’s far anyway.
The walk seems like it takes forever, but when I finally get there I regret it. Everyone is so drunk and I haven’t even gone in yet.
There’s a guy peeing in the bush- oh wait, he just fell over and pissed on himself. Then there’s a group of guys and one girl all in sweaters and smoking.
I open the front door and go inside in search for Dex.
“Jacob,” Jimmy comes over looking hammered out of his mind. He’s wearing one of those hats that have a beer on each side of your head and the straws that go in your mouth. It says THIRST AID on it. “Bro, I swear I thought you left. Beer?”
At first, I think about refusing the beer, but then I see Jade and I take it, swallowing it all and tossing Jimmy the empty can.
“Damn bro!” He says in his thick accent.
“Do you know where Dex is?” I ask.
“Yeah, bro, he’s upstairs.”
I squeeze his shoulder, take his other beer, and thank him. Then I head upstairs to find my brother. But I’m stopped again, this time by Troy, he’s in my history class and we’ve played rugby a few times after school but I really don’t want to be fucking have a conversation with this kid right now.
“Jacob what’s going on?” He asks. “Come to the kitchen we got a crazy game of pong going, I want you on my team you’ve always been good with balls.”
“Troy your hilarious,” I say sarcastically. “Actually, I’m trying to find Dex.”
“Dex is playing pong!” He says.
“Jimmy said he was-”
He puts his arm around me and practically drags me into the kitchen.
It looks like a bomb went off in this kitchen. There’s red solo cups and empty Cheeto bags everywhere. This place looks like a frat house.
I’m into my third game of beer pong now, and that’s when I realize Dex isn’t here. He never was here, Troy is a liar. He just wanted me to play beer pong.
I sit down on the floor after the third round and Jimmy comes up beside me and hands me a shot of dark liquid. It smells like Jägermeister and I suck it back like water.
I’m too fucked up right now, coming back was a mistake.
I see Jade on the couch talking to some random ugly chick with blond hair. Jade’s touching it and I can tell she’s ranting about how pretty it is in that high-pitched Minnie Mouse helium infused drunk voice of hers.
She looks so hot, with her hair in a high ponytail. She’s in a little crop top and high waisted pants. I want her so badly and it’s so hard not to just go over there and start kissing her.
I hate her so much.
“Are you just going to stare at her all night bro,” Jimmy says, coming to sit beside me. “Or are you going to go over there and claim your turf?”
“She’s not worth claiming,” I tell him.
“Oh shit!” He turns his attention towards Jade and yells, “JADE.”
I almost strangle him to death. She looks over at us and Jimmy gestures for her to come over.
She must be really drunk because she actually does.
“Jade,” Jimmy says. “Jacob wanted to talk to you.”
“No, I didn’t.” I tell her.
“Well,” She says. “I don’t want to talk to you either.”
“Then why did you fucking come over here?”
Jimmy looks shocked.
“Because I wanted to see how ugly you got up close over the past year,” She says.
“You know I’m still sexy as hell,” I tell her. “If anything, I got even sexier.”
“Your modesty always amazes me Jacob,” She says.
I want her to say my name again.
“Your bitchiness never amazes me,” I flash her my most fake smile.
“What the hell is going on here?” Jimmy looks unpleasantly confused. Or maybe that’s just his drunk face, I’m not sure.
“Nothing,” Jade gives me a death stare.
“You have no right to be a bitch to me,” I tell her.
She turns on her heel and goes back to drooling over the ugly blond girl’s hair.
Jimmy looks at me with wide eyes.
“Bro,” He says. “What’s wrong with you? Jade’s hot.”
“Hot doesn’t trump bitch,” I tell him.
“Very true bro,” He says. “Very true.”
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