Today at day program, we had expressive group. In expressive, we sit in a circle and talk about our problems. Today, things got intense. Topics included dead family members, abusive family members, alcoholic parents, and infidelity. It was far too much for me at the time, so I just kind of started crying (and doing a miserable job of hiding it). I finally opened up about how pissed off I am at my family. This girl Jozzee told me to "talk to God" because he always is there. I don't really believe in God, but really appreciated the kindness behind her words, so I said thank you. Group ended, and Jozzee stayed next to me and gave me a hug. Then Asher came over, kneeled down, and just wrapped his long, scrawny-ass arms around me in the sheerest, purest sincerity. I don't know how exactly to describe those 90 seconds, but I sure as hell will remember them. It was the kind of hug someone gives you when they care, they care so fucking much and they want so badly for you to be OK. It was so, so nice to just know that someone was there.

Then he let go, and held my hand real tight. He said I was great, and that "we all love you."

I've gotta say, I'm really shocked that he's never had a girlfriend. He's a great guy and I don't know why girls don't see that. If I wasn't a lesbian, and we weren't in the hospital, I'd be all over him. I know he'll meet someone. One day.