“Hello, Mark,” Caleb said, and awkwardly chuckled. “So Caleb, today is your birthday. And I’m definitely coming to your party, so expect me there at exactly 5:00 PM,” Mark proclaimed. 

“Actually, I changed my mind. You are uninvited from my party. Everyone else in the whole town can come, except for you.” Mark looked shocked for a few seconds, until he finally realized the joke. 

“Hahaha, very funny, Caleb. You could be a comedian, you know.” “Haha, thanks,” Caleb nervously replied. Shit, he shouldn’t have made that joke. 

It was a fucking terrible joke, why did he think it would be funny? It wasn’t funny, it was complete garbage, and now everything was even more awkward than before, a feat previously thought impossible. 

Why did he have to mess up every time he talked to Mark? Why couldn’t he just have a normal conversation, like a normal person? Why did he have to be this way? 

“Hey, you okay there?” Mark looked genuinely concerned, which made Caleb feel even worse, because he was the one making Mark concerned, he was the one messing up Mark’s usual beautiful happy self. 

Everything was his fault. All of it was all his fault! And then Mark slung an arm around Caleb’s shoulder, and everything was all right. Everything was perfect. Because that incredible, gorgeous, impossibly kind boy was right there beside him. 

“Now I am,” he quipped, then immediately realized what he had said. “Uh...I mean...um...what I meant to say was...uhh…” Caleb stammered, while his face became increasingly redder. 

“It’s okay, I get what you were trying to say,” Mark said, laughing. “Good.” Caleb breathed a sigh of relief. 

Mark understood. Mark got it! Because of course he did, he was Mark Baker. The Mark Baker. 

Kind and funny, smart and caring, athletic and good looking. He was everything, so of course he understood. He was everything. Everything! And Caleb was nothing. 

Nothing compared to him. Just a speck of dust next to a shining golden statue. He could never compare. Never ever. Because he was just Caleb Smith: an annoying piece of shit that Mark was kind enough to grace with his presence. 

He had heard it ever since he was a child, and why would people call him annoying if he wasn’t? He was just what they all told him he was: annoying, slow, stupid, overly sensitive, a big crybaby. 

Ugly, dumb, immature, lazy, forgetful, gullible. Just an attention seeker that couldn’t handle not being in the spotlight. Someone who wanted it all: the fame, fortune, and handsome side piece without actually working for it. 

He was untalented, uninteresting, depressing. He was a handful. A burden. He just made everyone’s life harder with his random freak-outs and impulsiveness. 

And Mark was simply putting up with him. Dealing with him. Pretending to like him. Because Mark was too nice to ever say an unkind word about him.

He couldn’t do this anymore, not to himself or to Mark. Because his fantasies were just that: fantasies. He couldn’t keep living out this lie. 

Because Mark couldn’t like him. How could Mark like someone like him? No, Mark was only being polite. But Caleb couldn’t let Mark keep up the facade. 

No, he was going to let Mark be happy, and Mark could never be happy with him.