Life or Legend?
Embarrassment Level: 4/5
Written By: TequilaQueen
It was my nineteenth birthday and I was really excited because I had just started talking to this really hot guy (who is now my boyfriend) and he agreed to come out with me and my friends to celebrate. So, I got all dressed up and I looked super hot in this white body suit I ordered online and wearing five-inch heels that made me look like a supermodel.
I’m not a big drinker but I was nervous about him coming out with us so before he got to my house I had three Tequila shots with my friends to calm me down. I was already tipsy when he arrived and so were all my friends.
So, we get in the uber and make our way to the club. Even though I’m tipsy I’m trying to be all cute and innocent seeming around him, you know, trying to act all perfect and girly. This doesn’t last long.
We get to the club and we get a booth. I see there is some other girl in tiny booty shorts that her ass is almost falling out of and she’s being obnoxious and super loud. Apparently, it’s her birthday too but she’s being annoying and loud with her friends. I kind of want her to shut up or leave, but obviously she doesn’t.
I’m still nervous and all my friends keep buying me shots because, well, I’m the birthday girl! My one friend brought me this creamy chocolaty liqueur and I had already had three shots of Tequila. Then my other friend buys me two shots of Raspberry Vodka and that’s when I start to feel my stomach turn.
My one friend looks at me because she see’s the look on my face and she knows that I have kind of a weak stomach to begin with. I feel vomit jump up in my throat.
“I have to go reapply my lipstick,” I say in my best cute innocent girl voice. “I’ll be right back.”
I fucking run to the bathroom, holding my hand over my mouth. I push through the crowd of people and I’m at the bathroom stall… and I projectile vomit all over the stall door and all over myself.
Fuck.
I’m now covered in vomit and super drunk. There’s no way I can go back to that guy and tell him that I’m so drunk that I puked all over myself. He’s going to think I’m some nasty mess. Especially when I’ve been acting all cute and clean all night.
I grab paper towel and attempt to wipe the vomit off but it’s not working. I still have a huge stain on my shirt and it’s soaking wet. It looks just like I got puke all over myself still.
I walk out of the bathroom and I see a woman security guard standing outside the bathroom. She looks at my shirt in disgust.
“Did you puke on yourself?” She asks me. “I have to ask you to leave, if you’re that drunk you need to go home.”
I obviously didn’t want to leave, and I obviously couldn’t have people thinking I puked all over myself, so… I made up a little lie.
“Ew, no I didn’t puke on myself!” I tell her. “Someone puked on me!”
“Who was it?” The security guard asks.
Fuck.
I make something up fast. I remember that girl that was being super loud and annoying.
“It was the birthday girl!” I try my best to look frustrated and upset.
“She has to go,” The security guard says. “I’m so sorry. Do you need perfume?”
I say yes and spray myself all over with it and head back over to the booth where all my friends are.
They all look at me and ask what the hell happened. I tell them and the hot guy I’m seeing that the loud annoying birthday girl puked all over me. They all look disgusted and tell me that they can’t believe she did that.
After that, I didn’t see the annoying birthday girl or her friends for the rest of the night.
I’ve been with that same guy now for four years, and till this day he still thinks that girl puked on me. He will never know that I puked all over myself that night.
THIS STORY IS...
Life! Yes, this story is TRUE!
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