Dear Rosey,

I know it has been awhile. I just… okay, let me try this again.

Dear Rose,

…Damn it!

Dear Rose,

I miss you. I want to talk. I need to talk. I wish I could see you, I want to know everything that has happened to you since we… I know you probably still hate me. In fact, I am definitely not going to send this letter to you like I originally planned because I am a chicken.

I love you.

I hate you.

I need to see you.

Every time I think of you everything in me hurts. Even after all this time, after everything, you are still the only thing holding me back from being happy. I wish I never met you… no that’s not true, even though you shouted it at me, I know you didn’t mean it either. Right?

I wish I could forget you.

I wish I could hold you one more time.

I wish you were here!

Argh! This is not helping me. This is supposed to give some type of closure. Instead, it just fills me with more pain. You will never know how much those words hurt me. How many times I cry myself to sleep thinking of you, of how I hurt you.

You will never see the tear stains on this page.

You will probably never talk to me ever again.

Why can’t I stop crying over you? Why can’t I just move on? What is it with you that even now, even after everything you said, I still want to be with you.

Why did you say those things?

Why did you leave me to take the fall alone?

Did you ever love me at all?

Was it all just so bad?

Do you hate me?

Do you really think your life is better without me?

Why, why can’t I let you go…

Dear Rose,

My life is not the same without you.