Ash's Pov.

I bolt up panting. Darkness surrounds me and silence envelops me which means that everyone is still asleep.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair and rest it on the nape of my neck. I know I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep not that I want to go back to that dream. It's been eight years and Feyre's death still replays in my head. Every night I witness the worst night of my life again and again. I always wake up with the image fresh in my head. Her limp body curled on her side arm slung over her face in self defense and yet her nose is broken and bleeding. Probably because her uncle punched her causing her to stumble back and trip only for him to keep beating her. Blood dripping onto the carpeting from her nose and mouth. I see him hit her again and again. It's all my fault. If she had been in her room she could have locked her door but she was on her way out and he had just come in. All my fault. I wasn't strong enough, I was a coward, and I couldn't protect her, I couldn't save her. She's gone and it's all my fault.

I slowly drag myself out of bed and pull on a lose black shirt, jeans and boots. I plug my earphones into my phone and quietly make my way out. I step out the front door into a cool crisp night. The stars are shining bright alongside the moon not a cloud in sight. It's so serene almost unreal. I put my earphones in and take a deep breath. One deep breath in through my nose, I hold it for three seconds as I move my feet into position, and then I slowly release the air through my mouth before I push forward.

Running has always helped me to clear my head. I figured it out that night. When I ran to my uncle, each pounding step a wall I put up. Each wall hiding a certain part of my past. I keep the walls up around people but sometimes they come crashing down and I have nightmares that wake me up panting, feeling alone and numb. I found the only way to put the walls back up is to run. Run away from the pain of my past and the horrible images that come with it. I started to train so that I wouldn't have to feel weak ever again and my uncle was happy to buy me the equipment. I think it was because he knew if I became good enough then he would have a new bodyguard. He's loving enough. He feeds me and worries about me. Once he tried to scratch me behind my ears to comfort me and I almost bit him so ever since then he has worried but never tried to comfort me.

As I run the image of Feyre starts to fade into the black abyss of my mind. Lost to the darkest part of me. The part of me I never seem to be able to escape.

I look up at the sky letting the light from the stars and moon wash away the dark images letting it full my head with light. And as my past is shoved back a strange thought creeps into my mind. Why does Jupiter's wings drag behind her? Surely she would want them on full display, show them off and make sure people are in awe of them. There must be a reason right? I shake my head and push forward letting my music full my head. Focusing on the dark road in front of me.

_____________________________________

I decid its probably best to head back home seeing as I am feeling better and if Jace finds me gone when he wakes up he's going to start worrying about me again.

I enter the house and then suddenly there is a maid in front of me. She instantly grabs my sleeve and tugs me up the hallway. Most of the time I'm in my room and all the maids know the only way to get me to move is to drag me out, so I'm not shocked by it but I am curious. The maid stops in front of Jupiter's door and I know what's going on. I try to turn to leave but her grip is firm and she pulls me back.

I sigh and pull out my earphones before opening the door and entering. She instantly stands up beaming.

"Well let's go!"

Her voice is full of excitement and is light and airy. She moves forward and I step back letting her move past me into the hallway. She looks to me for direction and I walk ahead.

As I walk I head straight for the front door. I don't bother to look back to make sure she is keeping up or even following.

We exit and her eyes go wide as she takes in her surroundings. It's almost as if she hasn't been outside in years. I'm leaning against the wall watching her carefully and I swear her wings twitch. Like they want to spread out and carry her up into the sky.

She turns to me and smiles warmly my ears instantly fall flat against my head and I bare my teeth at her briefly, my canines on full display. It's a warning. Don't try anything. She flinches slightly and turns away. I relax again but my ears are still back.

She takes a few tentative steps forward and slowly spreads her wings. I can see it coming a mile off. I know what she's going to do before she does it. She looks back at me and smiles as if to say sorry. And then she bends her knees slightly her arms at her sides and her wings raise up. Then with a powerful beat of her wings she pushes up swinging her arms up as well. I watch her go; she looks like an arrow heading straight for the moon. A smirk tugs at my lips before I turn and head back to bed. My uncle is going to be pissed but where's the fun in hunting if I don't give her a chance.