Only few knows that many people are walking around with a smiling face, without wanting others to know about how they really feel inside. It is not only the reason that people will think they are crazy, talking about their mental health needs a lot of courage and telling about their health to the wrong person adds another reason to get more depressed.

It was a cold Saturday night in Bangalore. I was trying to get some sleep for like around two hours next to my girlfriend Sarah, who on the other hand was sleeping like a baby with her arms and legs around me.

Even though I was on a nice bed, had a nice blanket to cover and had my girlfriend to cuddle, I could not sleep in any position as it was a new place for me. That was the first time I went to her home to give company while her friend was not in the city.

Sarah was staying in a 2BHK flat with her friend Neha and her one-year-old dog Max.

After wasting another half an hour thinking about going to sleep, I gave up. I opened my eyes and decided to eat something.

With the help of the little street light which was penetrating through the gaps of the curtains I managed to slide myself out of the bed without waking my girlfriend and walked towards the door slowly and opened it.

I tried to close the door slowly without making any noise, but It was unsuccessful. I woke Max. He heard me and stood in his bed looking at me. I was so scared. Because I know, I would end up in hospital if he did not recognize me. I stood there like a statue with one arm on the door watching Max.

A few seconds later it got even worse when he started walking towards me. I was scolding myself for forgetting about him and making this idiotic move. Like every idiot, I was praying to protect me from him until he came and sat next to my legs wagging his tail.

“You made me a complete fool out of myself. Thank god you recognized me otherwise I would have ended up in the hospital”, I told and patted him for a minute.

I switched on the lights and went to the kitchen to get some snack for the both of us. Max was just sitting in front of the other bedroom door when I returned. I showed him his treats, called out his name and tried throwing some near him. He did not give me shit. He was looking at me as if he wanted me to open the door.

Everyone knows that it is not a good thing to go into another person’s room without their permission who you barely know, but this can’t be understood by or can be explained to Max. The only thing dogs know is, to be faithful for their owners. I had no other option.

Max went looking for his owner as soon as I opened the door and switched on the lights. Poor Max could not find her anywhere in the room. He looked at me for some time and then climbed on the bed and sat with lost hope. I felt so bad watching this. I went inside the room, sat on the bed next to him and started to pet him on his shoulder.

“You know I told Sarah to bring you to my apartment. If she had accepted, I would have slept by now and I would not be roaming around like a vampire. Why does she always stand for you and your owner? What have you two done to my girl?”, I asked Max looking around the room.

The entire room was well arranged, decorated and maintained properly. I was blown away. I felt like I was sitting in a nice hotel room. I kept the snacks aside and started walking around the room.

Out of all the nice things in the room the only thing I wondered most was her bookshelf. There were around 30 books arranged in collection of authors like Paulo Coelho, Jeffery Archer, J.k. Rowling, Ravinder Singh and Durjoy Datta.

“How does she had time to read these many books? That too hardcopies, who buys hardcopies these days?”, I thought.

It reminded me of my ex-girlfriend Akshaya. Only person I knew who loved reading novels. Every time she used to read a book for me, I fall asleep. Probably one of the reasons we are not together. The moment I laughed thinking about it. “Oh yeah, books! you idiot”, I tapped on my head realizing that I found the cure to get my sleep. Then I started looking at the cover of the books deciding to read.

While I was looking at the titles of each book, I found a diary hidden within that arrangement. I ignored it and took a book named ‘If it’s not forever’ which was written by Durjoy Datta and Nikita Singh. It was not because of the cover. That was the first time I saw two author names written on a single book. I thought only one author will write a book till the time I saw it. I sat on the bed next to Max with a pillow to my back and started to read.

A few minutes after I started reading the book my focus got shifted from to go to sleep to what was the deal with the diary? Why did she hide it? once again I tried to ignore it and continued reading the book.

That book was so good. I last track of time reading it. It was gripping and interesting until to a point where it got weird. There was this coincidence with my current situation and the story of the book. It started with a boy who could not sleep because of the terrible thing happened to him, who then travels to places based on a diary he gets by fate.

I got freaked out. I closed the book, kept it aside and stared at the bookshelf. Did she just buy these many books to hide this diary in the plain sight? Another question arose from nowhere and it was killing me. So, I kept the book in the same place where it was and took the diary with a lot of questions running in my mind.

“Wait! what if she finds out about this and fights with Sarah?” I questioned myself.

“Nah… she won’t be here till Tuesday and how will she find if I keep this diary in the exact same place where it was”, I replied to my question, sat on the bed and started reading the diary.

I did not think of my parents. I am so sorry. I could not even think of their life without me. I was just thinking about me. I was selfish. I should not have tried to kill myself. If Sarah was not there for me, I would not be alive.

“Holy shit, what the hell have I gotten myself into?”. I shouted reading the first page of the diary. Max opened is eyes, looked at me and went back to sleep.